Update

To all of you who have sent concern, good thoughts, well wishes and postive vibes I can’t thank you enough. We can’t thank you enough. I doubt I’ll be able to return all of the emails, so please don’t be offended if you don’t get a response.

Heather is doing well. After a sleepless night, she’s on a series of medications that seem to have calmed her down. Leta and I just got back from a wonderful lunch with Heather and things are looking more up than they have in a good while. Heather talked of taking a nap and that is probably the best thing she could have said to me. I’ve been so worried about her lack of sleep that anytime she lies down is a good sign.

I know that today is just a step, and no cure-all. Still, one must find the positive behind the anger, frustration and seeming futility. It has been so difficult to watch Heather suffer for so long. I’d list all the meds we’ve got in our medicine cabinet, but I don’t have the strength to type it all out. If we didn’t have insurance, we’d be screwed. She’s getting excellent help and they are looking into every possibility (blood work, thyroid, hormones, diet, et al).

On the me front, being with Leta has been wonderful. Her smile and cooing and squealing are a salve. She’s also apparently a fan of mushed refried beans, so that’s a good sign. I’m sure someone out there is going to chastise me for mentioning refried beans as the worse possible thing I could do for Leta. If that’s the case, I’d recommend that you wait awhile before clicking either the “Send” or “Post Comment” button.

I don’t know when I’ll update again, as I’ll be spending the next several days with Heather. I’m leaving comments open, in the hopes that if you were thinking of sending an email to either myself or Heather, you’ll consider leaving a note rather than sending the mail. I know it’s not as personal, but I guarantee she’ll read the comments before she’ll plow through her email. Besides, I think it’s good to share the love. More than anything else, experiencing this level of kindness has reaffirmed my faith in people to be nice and decent and good.

Thank you thank you thank you for your kindness.

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  • http://www.amandarin.net amandarin

    I’m glad to read than things are going well and I’m sending positiive vibes that they’ll only continue to improve.

    As a long time reader of both your site and your wife’s, this seems a good time to make my first comment. My thoughts are with you and your family!

  • http://spike.buzznet.com spike

    hey jon and heather,

    you guys are the greatest. and what heather is doing is great and i think it shows how strong she is and how much of a great couple you guys make.

  • http://www.waxwingpress.com Julie

    Heather + Jon,
    The culture of blogs is a strange thing, I find. We don’t know each other and yet I have been so moved by your truthfulness and your bravery and your unbelievably brilliant words that I find myself wondering how you are doing throughout my day.
    I wish you rest and comfort.

    Wild Geese

    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
    Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
    are moving across the landscapes,
    over the prairies and deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

    MARY OLIVER
    Dream Work

  • Kari

    Thank you for the update. I appreciate it so much, I know others who are worried are probably also very relieved to hear from you.

    Best wishes to all of you out there in Utah.

  • http://www.704d.com/kimbawe Kim

    Jon & Heather– Hang in there. I wish I could fly to Utah and give you both hugs. I want to say everything will be alright and hope with all my heart that it will be. Thank you so much for opening your lives to us– much love.
    Kim

  • Sarah

    I’ve been reading Dooce’s site for a long time and only recently found yours. But you both have been in my thoughts as Dooce has struggled with her illness, and I’m wishing only happy things will come your way from now on. I know from a good friend’s experience what a hard time this is, but with love and patience and perseverance and a good set of doctors, you can make it through. Good luck to both of you, and all the best in the future. I am in awe of your courage.

  • http://www.flummel.com/ee Karan

    Hang the naysayers and full speed toward a happy sleep infested recovery!

  • Angie

    Heather is so brave for making the decision that she did. She’s very lucky to have you to support her.

    I come from a family riddled with mental illness and thought I had made it through 28 years virtually unscathed…until I became a mother. My son is now 10 months old and I can safely say that I’m better now.

    Everything is going to be ok. You’ll all make it through this.

  • Jamie

    I’ve been reading about both of your lives for nearly 9 months now. You two gave me insight into what my pregnancy was to hold (we gave birth 5/17) I just wanted to tell you both that you are in my prayers.

  • Alison

    I am glad you posted and I just want to send all sorts of good vibes and energy to all of you.

  • KellyH

    Thank you for the update. You guys are an incredible couple, especially to share such a personal struggle. I’m thinking of you, Heather and Leta and sending much, much love.

  • Shannon

    I found dooce​.com during a sad time in my life. Things are looking up for me now, but words cannot describe how much Heather’s writing lifted me up through some dark times.

    I’m sending some positive vibes for you all from the South! Thank you so much for the update, Jon…you guys have certainly been in my thoughts. Take care.

  • http://www.huginandmunin.net munin

    keeping you all in our thoughs, and sending as much goodness, positive vibes and hugs [if them be needing] that we can muster.

  • carmen

    go dooce!
    bring home the gold!
    (bronze is great, however)

  • http://zophia.typepad.com/monkey_speak/ Ellen

    my thoughts and good vibes are with you! here is to many sleep filled nights and sweet dreams. I wish you all the best!

  • sunnie

    thinking of you both. kudos for being so open and honest.…you’ve inspired and helped many. i nearly burst into tears reading heather’s latest post (can’t remember how i found the site, but i’ve been reading for a while) and, well, sending all my hopes and prayers that this all is a smooth process. you’re a strong man, jon, and a wonderful husband.….….it’s easy to figure that out just from reading your posts.

  • Cece

    (sigh of relief)
    I don’t know why I thought you would update us (us, as in…all of us web-snoops) but thank God I double-checked here to be sure because I felt really sorrowful about My Favorite Dooce. Thanks for thinking about us at a time when you have every right to think only of yourself and your family. That is remarkable. You must understand that we care. I’m glad that shows. and xoxo’s for the beautiful Gangstah Chef!

    p.s. We all have our trials AND our treasures. You’re a lucky man, Jon-without-the-H.

  • http://adogslife.typepad.com/caregivercafe/ Stacey Kirkland

    Now, Mr. Armstrong, if you can just get Heather to eat your refried beans, you four will be back in business in no time…

    Thank you both so very much for taking the time to share your love for your family. You guys just amaze me…

  • http://finallyawinner.blogspot.com Stephanie

    My thoughts are with the three of you. It’s a tough thing to go through, but I am so glad that Heather has decided to do what is best for her, and in the long run, best for everyone. Bless you all.

  • http://electrolicious.com Ariel

    Just wanted to express my support to the entire Hamilton/Amstrong Clan Of Three … I so dearly appreciate you giving us this window into your life. It gives your and Heather’s many thousands of readers the opportunity to really get to know the two of you as three-dimensional people dealing with three-dimensional challenges. I know the two of you have a lot of support “in real life,” but I just wanted to chime in one more voice of support here from the ether … much love to all three of you!

  • Kate

    I heartily support and agree with all the love and well-wishes being sent your way. I’ve been reading both of you since just before Leta was born, and I’ve been emailing the Dooce words of encouragement from time to time. As a psychiatrist-in-training, I’ve seen what this is like for women, for their families, and I am so glad that Heather is getting the help that she needs. And she is so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. Vermont (yes, all of it, I’m passing a law) sends its love to all four of you.

    (and PS–I called my husband last night to tell him, and it really was like I was telling him about friends of ours. How strange this blogworld is, and how wonderful that both of you are able to give so much to us.)

  • GK

    Heather, Jon & Leta — please know you are in my thoughts.

  • http://hairburner.diaryland.com Wen

    Dear Jon and Heather,

    I’m pretty new here, but I would also like to add that your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Your courage and strength in these exhausting and trying circumstances is amazing. That you choose to share these private moments shows a generosity of spirit and being is awe inspiring.

    My heart and support goes out to the four of you. I hope that this detour is brief so that you may return to each other stronger and more joyful.

  • http://www.supersonicjane.com Jane

    Glad that things are going okay so far. Psych wards can be scary places (apparently most hospitals can’t afford to separate out the truly psychotic from the depressed/eating disorder people) but hopefully this will be a safe place for Heather to try out new meds and get some rest away from little Leta.

    Just don’t forget that being a mom (or stay-at-home dad) can be utterly exhausting and frustrating and depressing for anyone–it’s hard to imagine how difficult this must be for someone who already has/had depression. Best wishes for your whole family, including the chuckster.

  • http://www.kim-anh.com kimmy

    roses are red
    violets are blue
    refried beans
    are good for you

    lots of positive thoughts, hope there’s not too much gas.

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