Breathing Easier

I’m completely floored by the very supportive comments and emails. I can’t possibly respond to all of you, so this is how I’m doing it. I’m feeling pretty buoyed up right now. The last time I worked from home was a disaster that lead to us leaving L.A. We wanted to leave, sort of, and it’s worked out very well. But we’ve got some major work in front of us. I’m looking forward to it, not dreading it. And that’s a big change from a week ago.

I don’t think we could do this without all the very loyal, very wonderful readers and supporters. The ads (I’ll be putting some on this site as well) will give us breathing room to figure it out. And that is a luxury I don’t take for granted. Over the past few years, we’ve been so lucky to have such a fantastic patronage from all of you. Yes, I’m kissing your asses. Hopefully, over the next few months, there will be even more reason to visit, and I’m thinking that if things continue, I might not ever have to get another job. Just make my own. Or make this site my business.

I’ve mentioned Po Bronson and his book What Should I Do With My Life (Fast Company Essay, Amazon, NPR, Personal Site) before. I think I’m experiencing one of the moments that so many people in that book talk about; making real change for the better and being more healthy and happy because of it. If you are looking for your life to take a new direction, the book is not the savior. It’s just got a lot of great stories about people and their dreams.

I still want to design and build things, but I’m going to be more selective and hopefully smarter about who I work with in that part of my professional life. Not being desperate is a good thing, so I think that’s a big part of working with people you want to work with as opposed to taking a job because you have to. I also value my family life. Partly because I never thought I’d have a family. Partly because it’s who I am. I want to be there for Heather and Leta. No amount of money is going to make up for me being gone either mentally or physically. Because I can do this right now, I am. I can. Thank you so much Heather.

I’ve always loved publishing and writing, but I’ve only put “writer” on my resume once, and subsequently took it off, because I felt a fraud. I think it’s time for me to embrace the publishing/writing side of myself and hopefully results will be seen here and other places.

Finally, I think it’s awful that so many people are in such bad places professionally. I’m so sorry that so many of you are living and working in hell. May we all escape the hell.

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  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/dlbusse/ Danielle

    Hey Jon,

    So glad to hear you are outta there. I left my job some time ago because it was making me physically ill. Haven’t looked back since. It is amazing what stress does to you. Heather sounds thrilled to have you there and Leta is one of the luckiest kids I know –two parents at home!

    Good luck and keep writing. You are great at it.

  • Jenny

    Cunt rag.

    I’m simultaneously freaked out and cracked up.

  • Jenny

    Now we’ve both said cunt rag on the internet.

    That’s three times now.

    Cunt rag.

    Sorry. I can’t stop.

  • Stacey

    Congrats to you, Heather, Leta and Chuck (I LOVE that dog!). You’ll be feeling better as soon as Heather gets you to take Leta to the grocery store for a three hour tour and she can take that nap she’s been longing for (and not a peep about the prepositonal endings… I don’t want to be called a motherfucker, too!!).
    No need to wish you good luck. You’ve got an amazing family and that’s worth so much more.

  • http://merujo.blogspot.com Merujo

    Congratulations on taking the scary, yet healthy step of quitting your toxic job. It’s funny — it’s been seven months of unemployment (with no unemployment benefits) since I was removed from my toxic job (I stayed too long.) And, although I’m now in extreme debt from just living and job hunting (no spouse or partner to support me), I’m physically and mentally so much healthier than I ever was when I worked in Hell. (The story of my departure from that job will eventually be funny to me, but it still freaks me out at this point — I was accused of being a potential axe murderer after reading a news account of a death in London to a friend over the phone — director was delighted to have a reason — even if a trumped up, bizarre one — to get rid of me. I was a contractor, so I had no legal leg to stand on to fight my removal. Took me two months to get an admission of her fabrication, but, of course, did get — nor did I want — my job back.)

    I put “writer” on my resume. Even if no one wants to read my words, I’m still a writer.

    Clearly, you are one, too. :-) Good luck.

  • http://www.xanga.com/valerita Posturban Naturalist

    It takes a lot of courage to make the decision you are making — don’t let that make you think for a second it’s not a good decision. You and your family will be fine. Sometimes, when things are scary, we forget to see all of the super-wonderful-goodness all around us — and when we do see it, we SEE it. Here’s to one mighty fine, healthy paradigm shift for the Blurbs. Cheers! and Congrats!

  • http://anchorednomad.blogspot.com Sarah

    You guys are such lovely people, you’ll be successful at whatever you decide to do, I have no doubt about that.

    My husband just took a job out of state, forcing me to quit the job that made me completely miserable every day. It is such an incredibly freeing feeling, and I know now that there is no way I ever would’ve had the ability to move on until first severing all ties to the source of my total discontent.

    The complete change I feel since leaving is making me extremely scared to even think about looking for a new job.

    The other commenters are right, life is too short.

  • Nik

    Congratulations on your new venture.

    My previous job had me crying to and from work. Even though it was the hardest job ever, mentally and physically, it taught me patience and to stand up for myself (a big thing since I’m incredibly shy.) I only lasted 6 months (the longest 6 months ever!) I learned so much and consider it a big challenge. I can truly say I’ve learned enough — and I will not put myself in that situation again.

    I’m currently reading my version of “What Should I Do…” It’s called “Face the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Jeffers. I highly recommend.

    Congrats again and I’m glad you can now spend your precious time with your family and doing something you love.

  • http://www.pruck.com/index.php?p=26 Patrick

    My wife, who is addicted to your wife’s blog, was the one who helped me off the treadmill…we are both lucky, lucky men.
    Regards,
    Patrick

  • http://spaces.msn.com/members/emihotorwhat April

    Long time lurker on here and dooce. Congrats on doing what makes you and your family happy and good luck. I know from experience that following your dreams and looking after number one is so worth it in the end!

  • http://redefining.org diane

    Your entry made me remember one of those life-changing events in my own life, how powerful a time it was for me, and how much happier I became on the other side of that. Yes, may we ALL escape the hell! I wish that for everyone! Once you go through this, you feel the power of your choices in your life… sorta like childbirth but more like the rebirth of yourself. I’m happy for both you and Heather to have this happen. Leta will benefit from your happiness!

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Strizz

    Good Luck Jon. You should feel pretty lucky to be finding “your path”. That is something I often wonder about. Will I ever find what it is I want to do? Where the ehll IS my path? GAH. I am still, pretty, young yet but gawsh the years are slipping by and I so don’t want to be asking anyone if they would like a refill when I am 65.

  • http://bucky4eyes.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Ah, Jon, you give all us freshly-40 folks some hope that we can still make positive changes in our lives.

    And with you home all day, Heather won’t be able to sneak off with Leta to Wyoming anymore. Your vodka is infinitely safer now.

  • Mia

    Jon, I am a 54 year wife and mother of 2. My husband is 58, my daughter is 21, my son 17. The similarities between Heather, me, Leta and my daugher are eery. Leta is my daughter reincarnated, Heather is me when I was a first time mother and you are my husband. You’re on the same path that we were on 22 years ago and although everything (well almost everything) has turned out better than I thought it would (in spite of my fears, my anxiety and my craziness)all of it would have turned out so much better so much sooner if we were as smart and brave as you and Heather. Thanks for being so human and thanks for sharing your life with all of us. Heather is a mother of the highest magnitude. And you’re not so bad yourself. Leta is a very lucky little girl. Mia

  • Judie Ashford

    Here’s hoping that your business turns out to be as successful as your blog! We’re all rooting for you; even those of us who read every line, but seldom comment. Life can be very good when not overwhelmed by “the pointy-haired boss”, like in Dilbert!

    Here’s to ya’.

    Judie Ashford

  • http://www.selfpassage.com Lisa

    I think you have a great chance at Making It. In addition to writing, I second what one commenter said about pursuing photography, but more than that, I bow down to your fabulous web design skillz– what a great way to marry all your talents. You’re an inspiration to others like me that are trying to do the same thing & strike out on our own, only with less experience and wisdom. If I can do you, I know you can do it!

  • http://jhegner.blogspot.com Julie

    Those of us who still are in working hell need an inspiration to show us that survival is possible outside the cube. You’re that inspiration, Jon. Thank *you*.

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    I’m still crossing my fingers for the Armstrongs and for your success! Welcome to, as my husband calls it, self-*un*employment.

    Jon, you’re our test subject. We’re watching you, and rooting for you, too.

    May we all find a way to do what we love to do, and to be happy doing it.

  • http://www.ninjapoodles.blogspot.com Belinda

    Best of luck, though I suspect you’ll get farther on skill. You really ARE a writer, you know. A good one.

  • http://www.cha-land.blogspot.com cameron

    amen to that.. keep climbing away from those gates and never look back.. :)

  • Regina

    Hooray for you. I have recently decided to give up the management position I’ve worked 6 years to build up, to switch to a half-time non-management position. I’ve done this in the best interest of myself, my husband, and my 2 year old daughter. I’ve only got this time with her once, and to be disconnected, stressed out, depressed, angry, etc during my 4 hours per night with her just wasn’t worth it to me, or fair to her. I hope to use some of my new-found me-time to devote to my art: jewelry making, and try to make a go of it. It’s a tough world out there if you’re attempting to start a business, but if you love what you do and are happy in the rest of your life anything is possible. Power to the people!!

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