What Mormon Theology is All About if You Have an Agenda
This was hugely controversial in Mormon circles back in the day. When I was a kid, every Mormon adult that spoke about it did so in tones that hinted the filmmakers were going to the worst part of the Mormon afterlife. Kind of like how the adults refer to Voldemort as he-who-must-not-be-named in the Harry Potter books.
I never saw the film/cartoon, and most people who admitted seeing it were almost afraid to talk about it. Except for non-Mormons who mention that their church group watched it and it was presented as fact. The opinions that were formed by watching this always seems to come up over drinks or in social situations and it is subject for lots of funny conversation.
I believe the linked video is an excerpt, because the descriptions I remember from my youth said that they had gone too far and revealed too much about the temple. Watching it now, this reaction seems like overkill, because the film contains a bunch of errors. My favorite is the part where Elohim shows up to get freaky with the Virgin Mary. It wasn’t taught that way to me, but if it was, I may have stayed in a little longer. It’s pretty awesome… God as playa.
The makers of the cartoon also take some theory and present it as doctrine. When I use the word theory, I’m meaning Mormon theories about the base doctrine and not the base doctrines the church teaches. Somewhere one of the Mormon leaders said that no man had done more for the human race than Joesph Smith, other than Jesus. Admittedly, that’s a huge claim to make and opens up several cans of worms. The cartoon takes this and runs with it, putting Smith at the judgment seat, which I was never taught.
Some of the stuff it gets right, but I never did genealogy with a flashlight in a graveyard. I love the gravedigger vibe they are going for… “Sweetie, we’ve got to hit the cemetery to get names to baptize… but it must be under stealth of DARKNESS!” Mormons do perform baptism for the dead, or baptism by proxy. If night raids in cemeteries for names happened, I never knew.
Wacky. o
- 07.20.2006
- 27 Responses »
- culture, religion
- photos
I was far too sober for that…
Valerie
I’m sorry, but I just have to snicker at that. Especially at the explanation for “negroes”…
Although, I was raised Catholic, and I’m sure alot of people can find humor in those beliefs…
Good ol’ Ed Decker, I believe? What a dork. If there were a hell to go to, I’d vote for him to go there. There’s enough screwy stuff in Mormonism as is (or any religion, for that matter). Why did the idiot have to go and make stuff up? Oh yeah…he was recruiting for his own church. *Asshat*.
I raid cemeteries for names all the time – it’s the new thing.
I’d never heard of this video – pretty funny.
All I can say is “Whoa.” Too early in the morning for this! I might have to watch this again later when I’m more awake.
Whoa… that is messed up. I don’t really know what to think, but the celestial sex? I gotsa get mes some of that!!
Is that the same as the God Makers movie? I never saw it, but it is similar I would imagine.
Makes me a little happier inside to be what you and Heather so fondly refer as a recovering mormon.
My chiropractor is Mormon, and I made the poor choice of asking him about it one day during an adjustment. There’s not a lot you can do when the guy preaching to you about religion is about to pop your neck back into place. You just sort of lie there and go, “Mmmhmmm. I seeeee. Yeeess.”
But when he was done, I asked him about “John Smith” and I thought he was going to implode with rage. This is why I should not be allowed outside in public.
Finally, a good explanation for everything, including immaculate conception and black people!!!
this is GREAT! I love that God and his Goddess Wives live on a planet and then Jesus “supposedly” had many children. I wonder where the makers of this are trying to cast doubt… It actually reminds me of the beginning of the first Superman. Maybe the Mormon Church can sue for copyright infringement. And you’re right, the part where Elohim comes down to Mary, walking PAST Joe in the front yard, is great!
This is too hilariously bizarre for anyone to be offended by it. Lots of Gods and spawning going on. Might inspire an interesting screenplay for a sci-fi porn flick.
http://tinyurl.com/krz9b
At the end of the video [which was crazy funny, so thanks for the mid afternoon laugh] YouTube suggested this video of ‘When Mormons Attack’.
I wonder if there is a similar video out their for Christianity?
My boss is Mormon and I’m very tempted to ask him about some of these things. I’m a curious person by nature. Whether I agree with it or not, I like to have the whole story. I also don’t like to be jobless… I think I’ll refrain from asking.
WILD!!!
“My favorite is the part where Elohim shows up to get freaky with the Virgin Mary. It wasnít taught that way to me, but if it was, I may have stayed in a little longer. Itís pretty awesomeÖ God as playa.”
This portion of your post made me literally giggle hysterically! CLASSIC! It was so good, I was surprised Heather didn’t write it. Or did she??
I was expecting Elohim to wink, and her face to get all flushed…
Wow – that was a freaky video. I have Mormon friends and dated a great Mormon guy in college and this piece of history never came up. I also don’t remember the flashlight/dark thing at my friends baptism. Must have been the voldemort ‘this video must never be spoken of’ angle. All you need to do now is toss in the Priory of Scio and the Da Vinci Code and all hell may just freeze over!
Okay, my thoughts while watching:
“…through endless celestial sex…” — Is it strange that I kept thinking of Sting?
OH MY GOD I can’t believe the explanation for skin color…
When Jesus is resurrected it looks like he’s teleporting in from the Enterprise…
Okay the creators of this cartoon are WAY too obsessed with sex. They’ve got the Mormons spawning more that salmon…
I didn’t think it was possible to make the Mormon religion seem more bizarre but I was wrong. Yeah, Elohim making a booty call on Mary was sweet. Thanks for clearing up all those Mormon misconceptions.
Well, that was interesting. Endless celestial sex, sounds like great fun to me. Very interesting explination for the immaculate conception and black people!
Just in time for me to show to my boyfriend when we visit Salt Lake and my Mormon relatives this weekend for Pioneer Day!
(Also, I had a dream last night about you and your wife. You let me stay in your house while I was visiting, and the place was awesome. It was an old stone church, and you had set it up so the living spaces–kitchen, dining room, family room–were shoved in the back in a low-ceilinged addition, but the nave was set up as a bedroom. The bedroom walls and floor were white and it had an uber-modern/industrial vibe, and your bed was on a raised platform in the center. And yes, it rotated. Leta was in a back room napping somewhere, and when I woke up I was really disappointed I didn’t get to say hi.)
Could you please give a fuller description of which wacky things from that video you were and weren’t taught? As an atheist, all this stuff strikes me as crazy, and it’s hard to know which stuff is the most ridiculous. =-)
Perhaps they were at the cemetary not for genealogy, but to round up some dead cats to cure their warts. Does that make Joseph Smith the new Injun Joe?
I guess I’ve spent too much time in the U of U design program because I can’t get past the bletcherously awful animation. What a load…
I guess if you’re not allowed to have coffee, tea, liquor, cigarettes, soda or pot, then lots and lots of sex is the way to go.
That cartoon was amazing! I felt like I was watching a cult recruitment video made by the producers of “Scooby Doo”.
And finally a religion that believes in life on other planets that’s not endorsed by crazy Tom Cruise.
I also never realized the Church of LDS has such an obsessive need for validation. With all of the Catholic Priest scandals nowadays, I’m surprised they don’t have droves of people lining up asking where to sign. Then again, Irish Catholics like their liquor. That very well could be a deal breaker.
Now that was fun– bizarre, but fun. It’s so interesting to see what people will believe under the guise of religion.
This video is right up there with the South Park episode on Scientology.
Jon-
Thank you for teaching me all about Mormons. I’m now an expert, right? That is if i were to believe all those morons who made this. I loved that they showed all of the identical ‘blonde’ goddesses with their identical blonde babies following the cellestial sex. I cannot believe the explanation for ‘negroes’. Times sure have changed-i hope. Thank you for broadening my horizons…
-Cailey