Comments on: The Second Time Around http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/ Jon Armstrong shares photos, music, politics, hair & pants. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:11:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sarah http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32158 Sarah Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:18:01 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32158 Wow Jon .. I just read this as I cannot get Dooce at work (social networking tag on her blog) and wanted to see how you both were! It's a beautiful post .. straight from the heart. You don't know me from a hole in the wall, but wow, I'm proud of you! You are definately an 'evolved' baby-man! My husband was like you .. soooo afraid to have another child. Therefore we have one, my son it 8 .. and we love him of course dearly. But I do sense that you've given a bit more of yourself, and given-in to Heather .. even in this fragile state she had been in with Leta. Kudos to you! Hoping the sleep comes soon .. it's always difficult, and I know that Heather must be much better off with you sharing the up at night duties. Hang in there, through the difficult times .. you're doing a great job! oh and more pics of both your kids, please?!?! :):) Wow Jon .. I just read this as I cannot get Dooce at work (social networking tag on her blog) and wanted to see how you both were!

It’s a beautiful post .. straight from the heart. You don’t know me from a hole in the wall, but wow, I’m proud of you! You are definately an ‘evolved’ baby-man! My husband was like you .. soooo afraid to have another child. Therefore we have one, my son it 8 .. and we love him of course dearly. But I do sense that you’ve given a bit more of yourself, and given-in to Heather .. even in this fragile state she had been in with Leta. Kudos to you!

Hoping the sleep comes soon .. it’s always difficult, and I know that Heather must be much better off with you sharing the up at night duties. Hang in there, through the difficult times .. you’re doing a great job!

oh and more pics of both your kids, please?!?! :) :)

]]> By: escapekey.blogspot.com/ http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32085 escapekey.blogspot.com/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:26:32 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32085 sounds like you guys are better prepared this go round which is a relief to hear. congratulations :) sounds like you guys are better prepared this go round which is a relief to hear. congratulations :)

]]> By: gwamma http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32084 gwamma Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:52:55 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32084 Hey Jon, Is it Heather's haircut or the fact that she is #26 on forbes or is she just getting more beautiful everyday? I loved your thoughts on men needing to LISTEN, you have to admit it is a little far out there! Thanks for EVERYTHING you do for my family. Love, Gwamma :) Hey Jon,

Is it Heather’s haircut or the fact that she is #26 on forbes or is she just getting more beautiful everyday?

I loved your thoughts on men needing to LISTEN, you have to admit it is a little far out there!

Thanks for EVERYTHING you do for my family.

Love,

Gwamma :)

]]> By: UglyGirl http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32082 UglyGirl Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:58:45 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32082 Lara, I have two things to tell you about your son. First, I'm sorry, because you and he have a long road ahead of you, as I'm sure you know. Second, I hope you realize how much of a blessing that curse is. Your boy will see the world in an intense and powerful way with the purity of a child. Always try to help him. Never try to change him. Lara, I have two things to tell you about your son. First, I’m sorry, because you and he have a long road ahead of you, as I’m sure you know. Second, I hope you realize how much of a blessing that curse is. Your boy will see the world in an intense and powerful way with the purity of a child.

Always try to help him. Never try to change him.

]]> By: UglyGirl http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32081 UglyGirl Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:54:48 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32081 I would imagine that you're feeling blessed by all of your supporters, and would have to spend months thanking everybody if they came by your house one by one. That's the great part about opening up your life to the world, the sympathizers, the understanding listeners, the loyal fans who will always remind you that you are not alone. But you and Heather kind of do that for me, Jon. I know the depression, the cruel rhythms of cyclothymia, the anxiety that somehow manages to undermine one and convince us that nothing will ever be OK again. Even in a neutral point in my life, remembering those feelings makes me want to cry. It's not just the mental illness issues though, not exactly. It's seeing that I'm not crazy for wanting a child, that I could possibly have one or two or a million without ruining their or my lives. The aching pain of a young woman starting her maternal yearnings combines with my eternal fear that it is not the world that is wrong, just me. I don't think I can ever really explain to you how much it means to me that you let me into your life like this, especially at this point in time. I just want you to know that you give me hope that one day I could be a good mother. Give Chuck and The Crackhead my best. I would imagine that you’re feeling blessed by all of your supporters, and would have to spend months thanking everybody if they came by your house one by one. That’s the great part about opening up your life to the world, the sympathizers, the understanding listeners, the loyal fans who will always remind you that you are not alone.

But you and Heather kind of do that for me, Jon. I know the depression, the cruel rhythms of cyclothymia, the anxiety that somehow manages to undermine one and convince us that nothing will ever be OK again. Even in a neutral point in my life, remembering those feelings makes me want to cry.

It’s not just the mental illness issues though, not exactly. It’s seeing that I’m not crazy for wanting a child, that I could possibly have one or two or a million without ruining their or my lives. The aching pain of a young woman starting her maternal yearnings combines with my eternal fear that it is not the world that is wrong, just me.

I don’t think I can ever really explain to you how much it means to me that you let me into your life like this, especially at this point in time. I just want you to know that you give me hope that one day I could be a good mother.

Give Chuck and The Crackhead my best.

]]> By: MrsMFDC http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32080 MrsMFDC Sun, 26 Jul 2009 12:39:00 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32080 I'm blaming Daddy Brain, but you forgot to tag Leta for this post. Heh heh! I was actually wondering if you or Heather would consider discussing what it's like to parent a highly sensitive, highly intelligent, keenly observant child. I suspect my nature was similar to Leta's as a young child and it has greatly impacted my adult life. I'm happier than I have ever been, but I've had to work hard at not internalizing, you know, everything. I'm just curious how you stay connected to Leta and how you decide what she's ready for, etc., just in case I have one like me! I’m blaming Daddy Brain, but you forgot to tag Leta for this post. Heh heh!

I was actually wondering if you or Heather would consider discussing what it’s like to parent a highly sensitive, highly intelligent, keenly observant child.

I suspect my nature was similar to Leta’s as a young child and it has greatly impacted my adult life. I’m happier than I have ever been, but I’ve had to work hard at not internalizing, you know, everything. I’m just curious how you stay connected to Leta and how you decide what she’s ready for, etc., just in case I have one like me!

]]> By: vakadesign http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32078 vakadesign Sat, 25 Jul 2009 22:14:06 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32078 Jon, as one of the many women who ended up hospitalized with postpartum depression, I've been rooting for your family with my fingers crossed. I'm so glad for Heather that she hasn't descended into that hell again, but I'm so glad for you, too. So many fathers don't feel they have the right to be devastated by watching something devastating happening to their wives, even though they are so incredibly effected by it. Thank you for a sensitive, thoughtful take on your experience. Jon, as one of the many women who ended up hospitalized with postpartum depression, I’ve been rooting for your family with my fingers crossed. I’m so glad for Heather that she hasn’t descended into that hell again, but I’m so glad for you, too.

So many fathers don’t feel they have the right to be devastated by watching something devastating happening to their wives, even though they are so incredibly effected by it. Thank you for a sensitive, thoughtful take on your experience.

]]> By: justicegirl http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32077 justicegirl Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:51:00 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32077 My husband had very similar feelings about our second pregnancy - that he was worried about my survival, as well as his own. It was tough, but we made it, and every week it gets a little easier. It's amazing what a difference sleep can make - our little one is just starting to sleep through the night - it will come for Marlo soon. Enjoy the little-stage as much as you possibly can - it disappears way too fast. My husband had very similar feelings about our second pregnancy – that he was worried about my survival, as well as his own. It was tough, but we made it, and every week it gets a little easier. It’s amazing what a difference sleep can make – our little one is just starting to sleep through the night – it will come for Marlo soon. Enjoy the little-stage as much as you possibly can – it disappears way too fast.

]]> By: mmblum http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32075 mmblum Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:57:19 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32075 Thank you so much for this post. I was directed here by Heather's post, and I'm so glad to read your words. I'm mom to a 4.5 y.o. and a 4 month old (both girls), so your honest discussion about the realities of the job hits me in a fresh, raw, real place. I am lucky that I have not had to fight the same biological fight that Heather has faced, but even without ppd (I'm not afraid to admit that) THIS IS SCARY AS HELL, even the second time around. More than anything, I am grateful for your post because it resonated for me in a very particular way: it gave me a glimpse of where my husband's thoughts and feelings are right now. My beloved, darling, amazing partner who spends his days working and his evenings being JUST WHAT I NEEDED. I don't get to hear a lot about his state of being right now, and this was a good reminder to CHANGE.THAT.NOW. Thank you for your honesty, and thanks to all the dads who work those middle of the night shifts. You'd be shocked to learn how rare you are. You should be very proud - of your wife, your lovely girls, and yourself. Thank you so much for this post. I was directed here by Heather’s post, and I’m so glad to read your words. I’m mom to a 4.5 y.o. and a 4 month old (both girls), so your honest discussion about the realities of the job hits me in a fresh, raw, real place. I am lucky that I have not had to fight the same biological fight that Heather has faced, but even without ppd (I’m not afraid to admit that) THIS IS SCARY AS HELL, even the second time around. More than anything, I am grateful for your post because it resonated for me in a very particular way: it gave me a glimpse of where my husband’s thoughts and feelings are right now. My beloved, darling, amazing partner who spends his days working and his evenings being JUST WHAT I NEEDED. I don’t get to hear a lot about his state of being right now, and this was a good reminder to CHANGE.THAT.NOW.

Thank you for your honesty, and thanks to all the dads who work those middle of the night shifts. You’d be shocked to learn how rare you are. You should be very proud – of your wife, your lovely girls, and yourself.

]]> By: JenniferLoy http://blurbomat.com/2009/07/21/the-second-time-around/comment-page-2/#comment-32074 JenniferLoy Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:48:55 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/?p=3158#comment-32074 You give me hope that one day we might be able to have another child. PTSD is exactly what my husband has from the first one, almost 4 years ago now. I hadn't thought of it as PTSD before, but that's it exactly. Thank you for sharing this. You give me hope that one day we might be able to have another child. PTSD is exactly what my husband has from the first one, almost 4 years ago now. I hadn’t thought of it as PTSD before, but that’s it exactly. Thank you for sharing this.

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