Absolutely unreal. I have no other words.

The more this drags on the more I really begin to feel like it is just all going to collapse with no changes and we will be left with the system we have now. I have to admit that I don’t know that I had a real appreciation for how bad it was until the past year. Yes, I knew of the large numbers of uninsured, including more children than are imaginable — especially in my state, Georgia — and I supported (and voted for those who supported) programs to provide them coverage.

Now I find myself a few weeks away from 1 full year of unemployment. I was able to find temporary insurance for only $100 a month that runs out in October. This year I fell and broke a finger but didn’t go to the doctor for fear that if I ever find a job or can find a a way to afford other insurance any treatment I receive would be held against me. Now, about 60 days from the lapse of my policy I have swollen lymph nodes on my neck — probably an infection or something mild but I am too terrified to go get it checked. Not because of what it could be, but because what if my daring to attend to my health when I have to find different coverage in 60 days, I cant get insured because I was recently treated for something and a new provider would deny coverage.

I found a new blog today through a link on another site and found another story like mine (I don’t know this person nor did I ask permission to link to her site so feel free to delete if needed) http://​kathyrabago​.com/​b​l​o​g​/​?​p=1627 and they seem to be in the place I fear I am about to end up.

It is just crazy. I am college educated, worked full time through most of college and worked non stop for the past 15 years and have always had good, employer funded insurance. Now after over 300 job applications, countless networking, etc I still haven’t found work (so much for being competent and highly compensated but that is another post) I fear I will be faced with paying $400 a month (that I don’t have) for insurance with a $5000 deductible that I will be afraid to use for fear of being dropped.

Goodness, I didn’t mean to hijack you comments or write a novel, I just have no clue what I am going to do. And am not alone in this place.

Tactics like this just take away what little fight I have left in me. No one seems to be doing anything but partisan screaming (on our local news I just saw a clip of someone berating a congressman for “being held hostage by Nancy Pelosi” rather than listening to his point of view on the topic). Something has to be done and I fear that for all the fighting, it won’t and those of us in the middle will just fall into the cracks and loose what we have worked so hard to achieve thus far.