• rageagainsttheminivan

    True story.  Unfortunately it seems like media is constantly trying to sell us the idea of “the one”.  What Dan is saying here is true and rational, but it also goes against the fairy-tale myth that our society holds so dear in terms of what love looks like.

    Also, did a gay man just give straight people a schooling on long-term relationships?  Heh.  Those gays and their agenda to ruin family values, right?

  • http://kristanhoffman.com/ Kristan

    “And what’s beautiful about a long-term relationship, and what can be transformative about it, is … we then are obligated to live up to the lies we told each other about who we are. We are then forced to be better people than we actually are. Because it’s expected of us, by each other.”

    “And that’s the only way you become The One. Is because somebody is willing to pretend you are. The One that they were waiting for, The One that they wanted, their One.”

    Loved that. Thank you for sharing.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D7XTWLMLYCOSAUUESXIPDBXUMU Michael M

    I love Dan Savage. He really nailed this answer. He makes me laugh and makes me think.

  • kamccle

    The amazing thing I’ve found is sticking through the rough landings makes my relationship deeper in the ways I dreamed about when I was single. No one could tell me that though, I had to live to believe it. I’m glad I saw it through. It also helps that both my husband and I finally developed a sense of humor. Helped immensely.

  • http://twitter.com/throwingutah Jennifer C.

    Threw me off a little when his next card said, “And sometimes my butt hurts,” but I appreciated everything before that.

    • http://twitter.com/CupcakeKarate Lindsay

      I’m dying to know what the full question was! 

      I loved this video. What a great way to think about relationships– the price of admission. 

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D7XTWLMLYCOSAUUESXIPDBXUMU Michael M

        Knowing Dan, he may have just made up that line. We may never know.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amy-Jacobs/590861439 Amy Jacobs

    AMEN!!

  • Lori Warren

    Totally true!  Wayne may leave his orange peels in the sink but he is a fantastic cook!  He may come to bed with me still working on work files but he loves me when he gets on the Harley I paid cash for and goes for a long ride.

    Dr. Laura said “Women marry what they believe are fixer uppers, men marry exactly what they want.”  I wish my own gender would learn to be zen about their home and love.

  • Krista

    Key phrase in that vid?  “if you’re willing…”  Most people aren’t willing to pay the price of admission, which sucks because they are robbing themselves.

  • http://artlung.com/ Joe Crawford

    Romantic comedies are pretty toxic programming along these lines. Grownups learn better.

  • Pam Gereau

    This is awesome! I’m going to ask my husband to watch this, as we have struggled with our relationship for years. Very helpful perspective. 

    And I ♥  Dan Savage. 

    • Kristen Romano

      One day my husband said “I will always talk during movies”.  And I said “And it will always piss me off”. He said “even when I’m 90 I will talk during movies”.  I said “Yes, and I will be 82 sitting right next to you telling you to shut the hell up”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=783009702 Christopher Naze

    Wow. Just wow.

    I’ve been where you are and wish you a profound center (like this) that will help you heal past this time.

  • AC100

    I keep returning to this video over and over.  Thank you so much for posting.

  • http://twitter.com/colagrl colagrl

    This made me smile and cry.
     

  • Carol Sorensen

    I once read in an OPRAH magazine (of all things) secrets of a long relationship.  The only one that resonated was the couple that said “When you realize the bad times might be years, not days.”  My husband and I went through a couple of years of that but we knew we loved each other, we love our kids and it would get better.  Married 20 years now (and we were together for 4 years before that.)