A Belated Giving of Thanks and Drink

While I am thankful for my wife, my soon to be born child, my dog, my parents and siblings, this year the Thanksgiving holiday has been marked by utter destruction and chaos. I am particularly thankful for tools borrowed from family, the best of which are as follows:

A badass handheld sledge hammer, which if used correctly can put any furniture bashing in _Gummo_ to shame. In two days the kitchen has been utterly demolished.

Various and sundry crowbars. I had the luxury of using three. Which was nice. The kitchen had two layers of Congoleum vinyl flooring on top of a flake board (1960s version of MDF, but not as hard or heavy) and then the original linoleum. That’s three floors to remove.

A reciprocating saw. The importance of this in any remodeling job cannot be understated. One must have this tool to cut through anything. I believe it was this tool that started me dragging my knuckles and beating my chest upon cleaving the laminate countertop in two. Details are fuzzy at this point.

A suitable anti-inflammatory medication. I have taken approximately 2400 mg of these per day of demolition. I’m still sore and stiff and feel like I’m 87.

Libation for consumption upon completion of each day’s tasks.

Now we just have to put in new floor, lights, cabinets, plumbing, dishwasher and paint. Maybe the libation needs to come right about now.

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