Coffee is for Closers III

April 3rd, 2002

You see this watch? You see this watch? This watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy, I don't give a shit. Good father, fuck you! Go home and play with your kids! You wanna work here, close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?Blurbomat is painfully aware that flogging of this kind is hurtful. Still.

So I get a follow-up call from the dealership that I visited (read about it here) from a guy claiming to be a manager. He asks me why I didn’t buy a truck from them.

After a 5 minute tirade, listing the terrible service, the insane dealer markup and everything else I stop for a breath.

“So the $5,000 dealer markup scared you, huh?”

“I wasn’t scared. I’m just not going to pay it.”

“Ok, so how can I sell you this truck.”

“You have to be $300 over invoice. 4.9% financing. 4-wheel drive. Automatic transmission. Red.”

Manager guy tells me he’ll give me everything I want: the cheap interest, the right truck, the right price. He doesn’t work on commission. He works on volume. He’s different than the guy that I talked to before. I tell him my down payment comes from the used car I have. He pauses and breathes.

“So you got kind of special situation.”

I tell him I can get more selling the car on my own than he’ll ever give me on trade. He tells me he’ll call me when he finds me a deal


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6 Responses to “Coffee is for Closers III”

  1. brent.barton says:

    i hate car sales “people”. bastards.

  2. Phillippa says:

    Online is SO the way to go…no emotional stress is key.

    Not being able to kick in the heads of scum your foot itches toward is NOT key.

    IT is angst.

  3. patatomic says:

    You are considering buying a truck? Welcome to the family, my friend. I’m weeping tears of joy even as I type.

  4. it’s easier to get screwed when you’re pretty. i survived the new car machine with a reliablesensiblefamilyprovohonda scar. ewwwww.

  5. Beveridge says:

    I am still in denial that you are abandoning the LPW for something as gaudy as a truck.

    Are we talking a pick up truck? Flat bed Toyota Tundra with the extended crew cab and built in water cooler?

    Bev

  6. brent.barton says:

    if you dare go domestic (i’m not afraid!) look at Dave Smith (www.davesmith.com). i know people who have bought from him. apparently there’s no haggling. you would look nice with the Liams5 in an Escalade!



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