It’s all a Blur
August 24th, 2004The first time I heard about Heather was at a weekly soccer game in the mid-1990s. I had married and graduated from BYU. I stayed in Provo, Utah to support my first wife through school and to make an attempt to be a rock star. Towards the end of my time in Provo on Saturdays, I played soccer with a bunch of guys that I had become friends with through my music and publishing interests. One of whom was Sam. Sam was a gateway person who had a significant role in my life. We had worked together making ads and t-shirts for a CD store that Sam co-managed. Of that era, the crowning glory was a t-shirt that read “provo rocks topless” with logo of the store on the back. The beauty of that shirt was timeless. Provo, doesn’t in any way rock. It was not ever, nor currently is topless. At least as far as BYU’s PR team will admit. It was in this environment that the soccer games took place.
The men (women seldom played) would talk about their lives in snippets between plays and who their roommates were seeing and not seeing anymore and it was only in brief, guy geek/jock talk that I heard about various women my friends knew or didn’t know or wanted to know. Heather came up briefly, and only in a funny story where one of the women just called her “Tiger” because she couldn’t remember Heather’s name. I believe this is the first time I had heard of Heather B. Hamilton.
These soccer outings were in 1994 and later that year, Sam and I gave birth to grid magazine. We existed on the freelancers that wrote for nothing and did it because they loved music. Heather became one of them towards the end of the magazine.
I had read her writing when I would proof the layouts for any typos, usage errors or text mangling that often happened during the layout of the magazine. There were a few writers on the masthead who had a distinctive style and Heather was in that group. Her writing, even then, was excellent; full of personality and charm.
I didn’t meet Heather until the summer of 1997. The magazine was part of a radio station festival featuring a ton of bands, and the magazine was sponsoring a Chill Out room (wasn’t the electronic trend of the mid-90s awesome?) featuring several DJs and offering an alternative to standing in the sun. We purchased a bunch of thrift store couches so people could sit down and listen to the DJs. What we didn’t bargain for was that the environment would enable young women to take off their shirts and dance in their bras.
Towards the mid-afternoon, as word spread and it got hotter outside, more and more people came in to check out the underwear. I think there were several strippers in the room as they were pulling moves _this_ shy of a lapdance. I watched in bemused silence. Heather showed up at the table we had set up to distribute the magazine and offer water (which ran out after about two hours).
Heather was supposed to interview members of Blur that day, and we were supposed to take some pictures to accompany the interview. Most bands of Blur’s stature insisted we take no photos and use approved images that every other media outlet used. It was always tricky negotiating pictures, particularly the day of the show. Sometimes bands would allow us a few minutes to shoot them (Beck, Blur) and sometimes they would not (Luscious Jackson). I always preferred using images that we made, so that we looked different than our competition. I wanted non-live images, as compelling live shots usually take several shows to get a great image and we didn’t have the budget to send a photographer to go on the road and send us back the great stuff.
On a show day, you never knew what could happen. Sometimes interviews would fall through due to scheduling or band issues and one had to adopt a kind of hyperaware laid back approach. If the interview didn’t happen, could we at least take a few shots and do a phoner later?
Such was the day that Heather and I met. Typically, Sam would contact the road manager, publicist or label person at the show and make the final arrangements. Sometimes, the road manager would find us and have band members in tow. That day, Sam had airport shuttle duties with the DJs and also had our table to staff so it was left to me. Heather and I went backstage to get the process started. It was highly unusual for me to follow-up on the interview side of things, because Sam was always on top of it. I approached Alex James and introduced myself and Heather. He directed us to their road manager. Heather couldn’t believe that I just walked up to him and started talking. I knew Blur was hot shit in England, but at this point in the history of the magazine, I had met so many bands, one more didn’t seem like that big of a deal. I’m not sure, but I think Heather said, “Fucking A, Armstrong. You just went up to him and started talking…”
I noticed Mr. James was reading a book on mathematics, and I instantly saw that as pretentious, however had to give him credit for trying to appeal to the ladies in a more cerebral way. I believe I shared this observation with Heather, but I can’t remember.
Heather was very blown away by how nice I was being to her. In retrospect, there were a lot of unusual things about the day, but because I wasn’t looking for those things, or trying to necessarily impress her, I just did stuff to make the interview happen. Looking back, there was never another time in the history of the magazine where I did more to make an interview happen. That Blur was one of Heather’s favorite bands made it all the more special for her, and I got to be a hero.
I remember feeling a distinct sense of being an older brother to Heather that day. There was something oddly familiar about her but I felt, even then, that she would be like the other characters surrounding the magazine. She would be someone I would watch over the years like Maugham’s narrator in _Razor’s Edge_. I had no idea then that five years later we’d be married and almost seven years later we’d have a child. Life is strange and wonderful, and I can’t imagine being with anybody else, or starting a family with anybody else. I’ve found my best friend and someone who loves me for all of my geekery and the attendant Medusa’s head of cables and detritus that comes with it.
Heather, I love you. Thank God for Blur. Thank God for grid magazine. Thank God for you.
(photo taken August, 2001)
Happy Second Anniversary!
p.s. Read her account here.
yall rock. my comment can’t do either blogs justice. cute pic and happy anniversary! here’s to many more.
i am a swooning addict of BOTH of your blogs. i adore all four of you, though i feel like some stalker-freak for doing so. i thought to myself, there’s NO WAY i could dig this family more.
wrong.
she met you before! and she had the sweetest crush on you! and then you met again…and, and, and…
*swoon*
the greatest love story on the blogosphere actually got *better*. unbelievable. i don’t know how you guys do it, but the blurbodoocery rocks. topless.
happy anniversary, and may you have a million more.
happy anniversary!
thank you for letting us all know that true love does indeed still exist for some and maybe it will some day for all of us.
Ditto to every thing that Anna said, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Happy Anniversary! Another swooning Disciple of BlurboDooce. I’ve always wanted to hear this story. Thank you for sharing - this story, and all the others you share with we strange strangers every day.
Yes, I spelled disciple wrong. Anal-retentive geek that I am, I can’t let it lay there.
Happy Anniversary! (why NOT say it twice?)
OK, I don’t know if its both of your stories or the medication I’m on for the post partum headaches (Frankie was born 1 day before Leta), but you guys just made me shed a tear.
Happy Anniversary.
–Kori
Meanwhile, no one gives a shit about the crush I had on you all those years. That Hamilton woman will pay for what she done to me.
Sometimes I wonder if you two are really real. That’s how cool you are.
Happy Anniversary.
You guys make me smile. That is probably the greatest “how we met each other” story I’ve ever read. Happy anniversary!
I’ve been reading both Dooce and Blurbomat for quite a long time, since your wedding to be exact. I always enjoy the snarky and in your face writing, and your pair of posts today has left me speechless. I usually don’t go for sentimentality, as a matter of fact, I just outlawed it in my own life. I’m deeply touched by the story, and wish you all the best in the world.
Happy Anniversary!
I’m so glad you two found each other. Happy Anniversary, lovebirds.
what, no pictures of sam?
Sweet Jesus. I never thought I’d EVER say this, but between the two of you and god-damn Oprah, my heart HURTS (but in a GREAT way).
You two (four actually!) are really, really amazing, and very REAL, which is why the Blurbodoocery World Domination begins NOW.
Here’s to another 52! Congrats!!
I’ve only been reading dooce for a short time and now I find there is ANOTHER amazing writer in her family. And then to find out that your story is similar (though written with much more pizzaz than my engineer brain can manage) to mine and my dh. We celebrated 12 years last weekend. He is 9 years my senior and we met and were friends for 6 years before dating. We are both the geeks of all geeks as well. I’m awaiting delivery of the 6th computer for our home today. Yes, 6. That there are only 2 adults and one child over 1 in this family is of no concern.
Happy Anniversary. So glad you found your mate!
This has to be one of the most riviting stories I have ever read!
So when do we hear the next installment?
Yay for you both (and Leta and Chuck), and yay for for internet for bringing your story to us.
Happy Anniversary!
I’ve also only been reading the blurbodoocery for a short while, but I’ve become addicted to *both* blogs. What a wonderful “getting together” story! I wish all of you the best! Happy Anniversary!
Congratulations!! Great story..it’s awesome to have the 2 points of view!
Sweet picture too…aww, so much love and coolness in the air. Thanks for sharing it!
Hmm..part of my comment seemed to get deleted..but after Congratulations there was supposed to be: !!! Great story, and awesome to have the 2 points of view!
Sorry to have this uncool thing thrown in the mix. I’ll make up for it:
*Little Pink Treat* Yay for Leta and Chuck!!
You two are the cutest, coolest, hippest couple ever. Thank you for allowing us into your lives and Happy Anniversary!!!
Maybe you should delete these? I don’t know if it’s me, my comp, or what?
Sob! Gulp! Mazal Tov and wishes for many more.
Wow, some things are just meant to be. Nothing in your lives comes quickly, easily, or conventionally, does it? All the better; Fate brought together two amazing individuals and we’re all so lucky that you both chose to share your lives with us. Oh, and the adorable chubby baby with the kick-ass genes is a nice plus, too. =)
Congratulations, beautiful people! May the honeymoon continue!
LOVE getting the story from both points of view.
Fantastic, thanks for sharing it on TEH INTERWEB.
xoxo
you make music journalism sound so romantic… happy anniversary, you nutjobs.
p.s. thanks for spelling my name right
That was such a wonderful story! You two give me hope that the perfect person is out there for me somewhere. I’ve been reading both Dooce and Blurbomat for over a year now, and I just LOVE them both so much! Keep up the good work!!! Oh yeah… and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
aawwww
You tow really are the coolest couple ever! I have been reading dooce for a while now and have been hooked! I am thrilled to find this site as well! Thanks for sharing your stories and your lives!
Happy Anniversay!
thank god I am not alone in my adimiration of you both - as a total dooce addict I am SO excited to discover you have a blog too??? could this be any better?
happy anniversary and many more to a completely beautiful couple.
What a beautiful entry
Happy 2nd and many, many more. Your twin stories are beautiful. All the best!
Man, I remember bringing up Dooce.com out of habit during Heather’s 2002 hiatus and being shocked yet completely thrilled to see your beautiful wedding photos. Hard to believe two years have elapsed since then! Many congratulations!
I loved reading your stories about how you first met. I spent the summer of ‘97 enthusiastically following Blur around England and it makes me smile thinking that one of my most beloved bands had a hand in bringing the two of you together. Awesome.
Ack! I read her account, then clicked the link through to yours, and then read your account and clicked the link back to hers, and read her account and clicked back to yours and now I’m trapped!
Happy anniversary from all the way up in Ogden.
Happy Anniversary to the coolest two on the web!
So fantastic my eyes are watering, that just made a dull dark day bright
Happy Anniversary!
I’m a regular reader of Heather’s blog. And now of yours. Hello to the one-who-hums-while-eating-her-feet Leta. And oh yeah, Chuck-who-beheaded-the-green-dinosaur rocks.
made me smile anniversary here today too
cheers
Great story! My husband and I just celebrated our third anniversary and first baby as well. Congratulations to your family! Keep up the great work. If I had a business, I would hire you.
Happy Anniversary guys. It’s been fantastic watching your lives evolve over the past couple years, that is, the parts that you both so generously choose to share with us. Thank you for that.
Wow! Fantastic posts you too. Makes my marriage look even more glaringly off in the ditch…
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary, guys … you do, indeed, rock!
And it’s great for us all to read.
Happy anniversary from over the ocean and thanks for sharing your life with us.
happy 2. jahrestag from another blurbodoocery-fan overseas.. you guys seriously rock and, dude, does your life sound cool (and i MEAN it - despite all the every-day-crap).. hope all is well and to another 102 or more..
For someone who is about to announce the intention to divorce my spouse and move on, your story is so uplifting. I am vehemently anti-relationship right this minute, but it’s great to see there may be something better out there. Happy anniversary, Armstrongs!
Wow. Just wow! Happy anniversary to my favorite bloggers. I love reading Heather’s accounts of motherhood, they never fail to make me laugh. I am so envious of the relationship you guys share. I love my husband, and I know he loves me, but man, you guys just blow me away.
Again, Happy Anniversary, and lots of cuddles to Leta and a big treat thrown at the head of Chuckles.
Congratulations to you all- what a cool family you are. I talk about you to people I know (because the Chuck and Leta and cabbage boobs stories are too good not to share) like you’re my next door neighbors.
And especially, I take comfort in how you’ve shared your struggle through the not so good times. As someone who’s been through similar stuff, it gives me hope my own relationship will weather the storm.
Thank God for Blur indeed.
Thanks for sharing the story, both of you.
Happy Anniversary!!!!
happy anniversary to the coolest couple in the world. This was such a treat to read both sides of the story. We are all rooting for you two and Leta, your gangstah chef.