Maintenance
August 25th, 2004First, I’ve turned off comments on all the whore pages (and entries older than a week). This page has seen enough. It’s time to let go, kids. Plus, spammers. Some guy named “2435 Bob” keeps talking about how great gambling is. The only Bob related to gambling I’m going to recommend on this site can be found in F. Barthleme’s excellent and painful Bob the Gambler.
Second, I’ve had a lot of requests about my first wife. What happened, where is she now, etc. I’ve avoided talking about her for quite a few reasons, the biggest being that I want to be considerate of her and her new life. Also, I’m uncomfortable sharing “the dirt” because it should be obvious; we divorced. It didn’t work out. I will list *my* failures in that relationship as follows:
- Immaturity
- Emotionally distant and inconsiderate
- Unable to communicate
- Paralysis around doing the hard work
I’m certain there are others. But they only matter in that I recognize my failings and I am trying to be better about them (and others) with Heather.
Third, I’ll share more about the summer of 2001 when I’m feeling less stressed about Heather’s well-being and my employment.
Fourth, welcome to all the new readers! My lady sent me a ton of traffic.
Fifth, thanks to all of you for your kind wishes and good vibes and positive thoughts. I can’t tell you how much it means to have such support from complete strangers. o
Poor Paris. She’s probably going to be disappointed that you turned off the comments to her picture.
some of those comments are just….creepy.
it’s a good thing you turned them off.
i’m a new reader. i came here via dooce. i love the “whores” section.
is there room for you to put my boss up there?
man, he’s a whore.
ps) happy anniversary to you and heather!
I think it’s fabulous that the both of you feel so comfortable with sharing your lives with a glob of faithful Internet geeks, and do so together.
My inner-nerd thanks you.
we don’t need to know your dirt. what good would that bring?
happy anniversary to you and heather. your marriage is an inspiration. thank you for sharing.
Ditto Shannon
No need for dirt. It’s none of our business. You share so much of yourself already. (As does Dooce)
*wishing you many (more) years of happiness with your girls and chuckles*
Been reading dooce.com, got there from Thomas Crown…
Happy Anniversary to you and Heather! I hope you cna work out the employment and home life. It makes for better day-to-day when you’re happy, yeah?
And, smooches for your lil’ girl~
I had no idea you had your own site.. although I always wondered. Your wife is my favorite weekly read. She is hilarious and irreverant. Glad to have been sent here. Enjoy reading your stuff.
Yay, I’m a new reader thanks to your superfly wife. And I have to say your daughter has the best middle name! Okay maybe I’m a little biased. Anyway count me among the ranks of people in the blogosphere who are a little too interested in the goings-on of the Armstrong family, thanks to the awesomeness of both of your sites.
I came across this today, thought it may help you and Dooce out with the job thing. Perhaps you could both freelance from home? As a stay-at-home mom of three, though, I recommend a decent mother’s morning out program or at least a part-time daycare deal for the Benevolent Dictator. It’s good for her to be around other kids as she gets older, and it gives both of you guys time to be an adult.
And I don’t give a fat rat’s ass who your previous wife is, I think you guys are inspiring. 
http://www.rentacoder.com/RentACoder/default.asp
I love both of your sites; I came upon Heather’s about a month ago then found yours through her.
I really admire you both for everything you do and for the way you guys are. You are definitely wonderful people from what I’ve read. You are so lucky to have had found each other!
Best to you and your family in your future endeavors.
but don’t give up on the “whores” feature forever! it’s brought mankind too much joy. maybe you could just shut down comments after a couple of days, or when each post gets archived.
by the way, bob the gambler (= bob le flambeur) is also the name of an excellent french movie from the 50s, kind of a noir heist flick. doesn’t seem to have anything to do w/ the barthelme book, but it’s worth checking out.
blurb,
frankly, i don’t care to learn about your first wife just so long as you and your second wife continue to make me laugh or make me think or make me do virtually anything that isn’t work related.
you both inspire me to be a better writer.
and my offer for a round or two of maker’s mark next time i’m amongst the saints remains firm.
Your dirt is your own. I’ve enjoyed Heather’s blog (and now yours) for some time now. It inspired me to start my own. Thank you both for being so open about your lives together, and I truly wish you and Heather and Leta the best. This, too, shall pass.
I almost never, ever comment, but I’ve been reading both sites for over two years. You guys are both great. I used to have a picture of Leta on my computer. I took it down when someone at work, who said how cute she was, asked who she was and I had trouble explaining she’s a complete stranger. Funny how reading a webpage for so long can make you feel like you know someone. I guess I’m a different kind of geek!
ditto! I never comment on this site but I read it religious…err… relig.. uhh… all the time. Dirt or no dirt your personal life is just that… PERSONAL. I’m a little shocked that someone would actually have the audacity to probe for information regarding your first marriage. I enjoy both you and your wife’s blogs. Keep up the good work. As to the rest.. fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
I was wondering how long you were going to let those whore posts go on.
I wasted a good hour the other day browsing some of those. absolutely hilarious … and frightening.
It kinda scares me that some of those people walk among us.
“quit hatin’ y’all. Paris rocks and y’all jus jealous!”
Great site though. really. topnotch.
And now you made me like you even more.. to not share the dirt shows you are a much better person than the ones asking to hear it.
I like many others just got here from your wifes site and I have to say that I feel like you guys are a part of my family…
Is it creepy to know that there are soooo many people that love you (and would recognize you) and you don’t even know who they are? It blows me away that I can love a family so much and they don’t even really know I exist.
it’s great that you aren’t bashing your ex-wife. I am an ex-wife and i don’t bash my ex even though I have plenty I could do so with…it’s always a sign of maturity when you admit your failings as a person and wish the other counterpart of a failed marriage well. You’ve tackled the maturity one for sure…
Hehe. I just checked the Whores section to make sure that you didn’t put up Natalie Merchant in there. Gad. I hope she never makes it there.
It’s been said a few times in these comments already, but I have to echo those who said it; You two inspire me. Truly. I’ve got nothing but love for both of you.
I hate that spam comment thing… it really is annoying. I kept getting comments from Bob, too!
I wish I could help with the job search… I wish you the best of luck with that! Maybe when Chuck becomes President he’ll have a nice steady position for you in the Dog House, I mean White House… um, yeah we know who I’M voting for!
Keep up the posting… a day doesn’t go by when I don’t check here or on Dooce to see how you are all doing… I feel like I’m almost part of the family!
A little late perhaps, but happy anniversary! I hope everything works out for you - you both deserve it. Thank you for being such a wonderful presence on the web - that goes for both of you, too.
Jon (and Heather)
thank you so much for both of your websites. They are thougthful, honest and entertaining.
You now have a new Canadian buddy!
Jon and Heather and Leta and Chuck:
be well, be safe, and be true.
unfortunately, I was one of the ones to say I want the dirt. But really, I am more interested in how you and Heather reunited than the failing of a marriage. Sorry if you took it the wrong way…
Good luck with the job and keep making us smile.
hm..i viewed my comments and I did in fact ask about the ex. sorry.
Like Brenda, I too am shameful for asking about your ex-marriage. Still like Brenda, I wasn’t interested in gossiping about the dirt, but was curious how that led to the wonderful union between you and Heather. I love both your sites very much and am very happy for the two of you.
All the best wishes and good vibes I can muster are headed your way.
if i did that sort of thing, i’d pray for your family unit - instead i’ll just think enough happy thoughts so that they may eventually make their way to you and heather.
may you all, very soon, form a new normal that keeps you safe and happy.
Since Dooce doesn’t have comments turned on, I will say here that there are many people sending Heather (and Jon! And Leta!) all of the good, safe, warm, healthy, happy thoughts in the whole world.
{{{BlurboDooceLeta-ery}}} We love you! Hang in there.
Your family is in my thoughts. I am so proud of Heather for doing what she needs to do, and having the courage to talk about it.
I, too, wanted to chime in since Heather doesn’t have comments turned on. I’m a long-time reader, never-commenter, and a huge fan of you both. Reading her post today broke my heart, and yet I know that she’s making the right decision. All the good vibes and kind thoughts ever are headed your way! Give Leta lots of kisses.
May the force be with you. I feel pretty crappy that there is nothing I can do to help, but be assured that I would if I could.
I truly believe in the power of positive thinking. Please know that many of us are sending our thoughts and prayers to you and Heather.
I’m so sorry to hear that all of Heather’s efforts in returning to normalcy aren’t paying off. I am a long time reader of both sites, but I rarely ever post. I wish only the best of the best for you and your family and hope that Heather gets well soon. Reading about your struggles seem to make mine pale in comparison. Please know that there are a LOT of people thinking wonderful thoughts for you and Heather and Leta and of course, Chuck. Hang in there.
Sorry to hear about Heather’s battle! I know about that stuggle…I have suffered from it myself a few years ago. Tell her to hang in there and though it is hard, to have faith that she will make it through this and get better. She at least recognizes the problem and is willingly getting help for it! That already shows how incredibly strong and brave she is! God for it, Heather!
Sending good vibes to all of you!
I am in awe of the struggles that you are going through right now. Amen to you for sharing it with us all- just another reminder that we’re not in it alone! Chicago loves you, hang in there.
I’ve been reading dooce for a while now, and am new to blurbomat, but just wanted to give my best to you and Heather (and Leta and Chuck!). I’ve been where Heather is, last year as a matter of fact (same state of mind, different psych ward), and it did save my life, though sometimes I wonder if it only bought me time. Today is better, though, than last year this time. Thanks, Jon, for sticking with her. I can only imagine how hard this is on you too, but your love for each other and for baby Leta and Chuck will keep you going, I feel sure. I’ll keep sending good thoughts the way of the Armstrong clan.
And I’m another new reader because of your wife!
I also share your beautiful daughter’s birthday. Great site too of course.