Update
August 27th, 2004To all of you who have sent concern, good thoughts, well wishes and postive vibes I can’t thank you enough. We can’t thank you enough. I doubt I’ll be able to return all of the emails, so please don’t be offended if you don’t get a response.
Heather is doing well. After a sleepless night, she’s on a series of medications that seem to have calmed her down. Leta and I just got back from a wonderful lunch with Heather and things are looking more up than they have in a good while. Heather talked of taking a nap and that is probably the best thing she could have said to me. I’ve been so worried about her lack of sleep that anytime she lies down is a good sign.
I know that today is just a step, and no cure-all. Still, one must find the positive behind the anger, frustration and seeming futility. It has been so difficult to watch Heather suffer for so long. I’d list all the meds we’ve got in our medicine cabinet, but I don’t have the strength to type it all out. If we didn’t have insurance, we’d be screwed. She’s getting excellent help and they are looking into every possibility (blood work, thyroid, hormones, diet, et al).
On the me front, being with Leta has been wonderful. Her smile and cooing and squealing are a salve. She’s also apparently a fan of mushed refried beans, so that’s a good sign. I’m sure someone out there is going to chastise me for mentioning refried beans as the worse possible thing I could do for Leta. If that’s the case, I’d recommend that you wait awhile before clicking either the “Send” or “Post Comment” button.
I don’t know when I’ll update again, as I’ll be spending the next several days with Heather. I’m leaving comments open, in the hopes that if you were thinking of sending an email to either myself or Heather, you’ll consider leaving a note rather than sending the mail. I know it’s not as personal, but I guarantee she’ll read the comments before she’ll plow through her email. Besides, I think it’s good to share the love. More than anything else, experiencing this level of kindness has reaffirmed my faith in people to be nice and decent and good.
Thank you thank you thank you for your kindness. o
August 27th, 2004 at 2:23 pm
Hoping—no, absolutely yearning—for the powers that be to be able to find a way to keep Heather feeling better. Thinking of you all.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:24 pm
how can we help?
since i unfortunately can’t offer you a job, are there other ways to help?
August 27th, 2004 at 2:27 pm
your family is in my prayers-
August 27th, 2004 at 2:29 pm
Jon, I am so glad you posted — I checked your site several times today in hopes of an update. It’s amazing how concerned you can be about people you only know through their blogs. One of the things I love about you two is your candor. I’m relieved to know Heather is feeling a bit better.
About Leta and the refried beans: Feed away. Kids love them. My older boy was eating them at Leta’s age. Warning, however: The gas aftermath can be daunting, plus they produce some really really scary diapers.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:31 pm
Jon, like so many others I found blurbomat through Heather’s site, and I’m very glad I did. I’ve been checking back anxiously for word of how you are all doing, and I’m glad that things look hopeful. I’m sure I’ll only be one of the first in a long, long line of people wishing you well.
I have been through something like what she is going through now, and I’m in awe of the courage, positivity, and candor you’ve both expressed during what surely must be one of the most difficult times you’ve experienced. I’m glad you guys are in an area (and a position) where you can get good health care and I hope that you’re able to find a good solution very soon.
You’re an inspiration to us all, and we’re all thinking about you. Hang in there!
August 27th, 2004 at 2:31 pm
Thanks so much for the update. I hope that things continue to get better for you all and I’m glad that Heather is getting some much needed sleep. Best to you all.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:31 pm
Nothing helpful, just a lot support and love from nyc.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:32 pm
My best wishes to you, Heather, Leta, and Chuck. Your sites always brighten my day and I wish nothing but the best for your beautiful family.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:34 pm
Hang in there, man.
Dooce is a brave soul-and she is very blessed to have you and your support.
You WILL get thru this.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:36 pm
I have been reading Heather’s site and yours for quite some time. I admire you all being so open on this subject as it has helped me with my issues as well as others. You three (+ Chuck!) take care. All will be well one day!
August 27th, 2004 at 2:38 pm
I’ve been thinking of the three of you a lot since I read your posts yesterday. I’m so glad that Heather decided to go in for treatment and that things looked a bit better today.
I had similar post-partum anxiety after my son was born two years ago. It wasn’t one-tenth as bad and lasted “only” two or three months, but it almost did me in, seriously. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Heather is an amazingly strong person to have kept going this long and stronger still for doing what she needs to do to feel better. And I know she’ll feel better.
Also, having been there myself, I can say how incredibly lucky Heather and Leta are to have you. Without my truly wonderful husband I don’t think I’d have made it through. I know you feel helpless a lot of the time, but believe Heather when she says that you *do* help her. She understands much better than you do how much having you has helped keep her going this long.
Thank you for the update. I’ll be thinking of all of you.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Your two sites make people laugh, spit & scream. Now your perfect humanity touches us, too. Best wishes and hope all is well soon.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Thinking of you all xx
August 27th, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Know that you receive love and support from people who only know you through reading your blogs.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for dooce. Things will undoubtedly improve. You’re both incredibly strong and wonderful people, based on what I’ve read in your blogs.
Keep focusing on the positive as often as is possible. Good luck!
August 27th, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Your update is helping andrew and I sleep better too. Thank you thank you thank you.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:45 pm
I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said… just that you and Heather are in my thoughts & prayers and I wish the best for both of you. We internet folks might go through a little withdrawal, but seriously, take all the time you guys need to beat this. Sometimes the most courageous thing to do is face your problems head-on, and you both get major thumbs-up for being so very proactive about this.
Also, as a psych student at the University of Utah, I feel that I should mention that our mental health facilities here ROCK.
You guys are amazing people. Take care.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:47 pm
I hope, hope, hope that this does the trick and you can all live happily ever after - or at least a reasonable approximation thereof.
You guys are far too cool for anything else…
August 27th, 2004 at 2:48 pm
big love going out to the blurb, the dooce, the frog and the congressman. i don’t know if it helps to have thousands of total strangers hanging on your every word, but for what it is worth, here we are.
some writer-type friends and i were talking yesterday about how impressed we were that, during the months heather described being so freaked out she could barely function, she also managed to post so frequently and charmingly to her website — a lot more so than some of us who are not depressed (or parents for that matter.) i’m hoping that was therapeutic for her, and didn’t just add to the stress of that time. damn you, dooce, for writing so well that your struggles are now as real to us as our own. be well and hurry home.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:48 pm
The courage you and Heather have, not only in the resolve you show in fighting this disease, but in fighting it so publicly, leaves me in awe.
Thank you.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:49 pm
Jon,
My best wishes to you both as you get through this. From as much as someone can come to know you both, only through your writings, I can tell that you both are amazing people and you are amazing for each other. Leta is fortunate to have been born into such a loving home.
Keep your heads up and remember that you have many friends out here, many of whom you don’t even know, who wish you only the best.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:50 pm
you guys are in my thoughts. i hope the best for you all.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:51 pm
I’m so relieved that things are looking up. I too can’t believe how much I’ve come to care about your little family. Sending all the positive vibes I’ve got…
August 27th, 2004 at 2:53 pm
I’m one of many to repeat that I am a long time reader of both your site and Heather’s. I think it is amazing how open you both have been about your situation. What you are doing has the possibility to help so many others that may be in the same boat. That is to be commended!!
Sincerest hopes for a speedy return of a happy and well rested Heather.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:54 pm
Dooce.com has brightened my day on so many occasions, and I feel as though I know all of you. I recently discovered Blurbomat through Heather’s site, and I’m so glad I did. You are amazing people, and I am inspired by both of you. I have no doubt that Heather’s strength as an individual, combined with your strength as a family will get her through this. I have never posted a comment on either of your sites, but I felt compelled to let you know that there are countless people out here in Internet-land who are sending all of our good thoughts and positive energy your way. Thank you so much for taking the time to update all of us during what I know is a stressful and chaotic period in all of your lives. Tell Heather we miss her and we’re all thinking of her.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:54 pm
Best wishes in this time of need. There are indeed decent people out here who care, it’s too bad it’s the assholes that always seem to type first