Update
August 27th, 2004To all of you who have sent concern, good thoughts, well wishes and postive vibes I can’t thank you enough. We can’t thank you enough. I doubt I’ll be able to return all of the emails, so please don’t be offended if you don’t get a response.
Heather is doing well. After a sleepless night, she’s on a series of medications that seem to have calmed her down. Leta and I just got back from a wonderful lunch with Heather and things are looking more up than they have in a good while. Heather talked of taking a nap and that is probably the best thing she could have said to me. I’ve been so worried about her lack of sleep that anytime she lies down is a good sign.
I know that today is just a step, and no cure-all. Still, one must find the positive behind the anger, frustration and seeming futility. It has been so difficult to watch Heather suffer for so long. I’d list all the meds we’ve got in our medicine cabinet, but I don’t have the strength to type it all out. If we didn’t have insurance, we’d be screwed. She’s getting excellent help and they are looking into every possibility (blood work, thyroid, hormones, diet, et al).
On the me front, being with Leta has been wonderful. Her smile and cooing and squealing are a salve. She’s also apparently a fan of mushed refried beans, so that’s a good sign. I’m sure someone out there is going to chastise me for mentioning refried beans as the worse possible thing I could do for Leta. If that’s the case, I’d recommend that you wait awhile before clicking either the “Send” or “Post Comment” button.
I don’t know when I’ll update again, as I’ll be spending the next several days with Heather. I’m leaving comments open, in the hopes that if you were thinking of sending an email to either myself or Heather, you’ll consider leaving a note rather than sending the mail. I know it’s not as personal, but I guarantee she’ll read the comments before she’ll plow through her email. Besides, I think it’s good to share the love. More than anything else, experiencing this level of kindness has reaffirmed my faith in people to be nice and decent and good.
Thank you thank you thank you for your kindness. o
Hoping—no, absolutely yearning—for the powers that be to be able to find a way to keep Heather feeling better. Thinking of you all.
how can we help?
since i unfortunately can’t offer you a job, are there other ways to help?
your family is in my prayers-
Jon, I am so glad you posted — I checked your site several times today in hopes of an update. It’s amazing how concerned you can be about people you only know through their blogs. One of the things I love about you two is your candor. I’m relieved to know Heather is feeling a bit better.
About Leta and the refried beans: Feed away. Kids love them. My older boy was eating them at Leta’s age. Warning, however: The gas aftermath can be daunting, plus they produce some really really scary diapers.
Jon, like so many others I found blurbomat through Heather’s site, and I’m very glad I did. I’ve been checking back anxiously for word of how you are all doing, and I’m glad that things look hopeful. I’m sure I’ll only be one of the first in a long, long line of people wishing you well.
I have been through something like what she is going through now, and I’m in awe of the courage, positivity, and candor you’ve both expressed during what surely must be one of the most difficult times you’ve experienced. I’m glad you guys are in an area (and a position) where you can get good health care and I hope that you’re able to find a good solution very soon.
You’re an inspiration to us all, and we’re all thinking about you. Hang in there!
Thanks so much for the update. I hope that things continue to get better for you all and I’m glad that Heather is getting some much needed sleep. Best to you all.
Nothing helpful, just a lot support and love from nyc.
My best wishes to you, Heather, Leta, and Chuck. Your sites always brighten my day and I wish nothing but the best for your beautiful family.
Hang in there, man.
Dooce is a brave soul-and she is very blessed to have you and your support.
You WILL get thru this.
I have been reading Heather’s site and yours for quite some time. I admire you all being so open on this subject as it has helped me with my issues as well as others. You three (+ Chuck!) take care. All will be well one day!
I’ve been thinking of the three of you a lot since I read your posts yesterday. I’m so glad that Heather decided to go in for treatment and that things looked a bit better today.
I had similar post-partum anxiety after my son was born two years ago. It wasn’t one-tenth as bad and lasted “only” two or three months, but it almost did me in, seriously. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Heather is an amazingly strong person to have kept going this long and stronger still for doing what she needs to do to feel better. And I know she’ll feel better.
Also, having been there myself, I can say how incredibly lucky Heather and Leta are to have you. Without my truly wonderful husband I don’t think I’d have made it through. I know you feel helpless a lot of the time, but believe Heather when she says that you *do* help her. She understands much better than you do how much having you has helped keep her going this long.
Thank you for the update. I’ll be thinking of all of you.
Your two sites make people laugh, spit & scream. Now your perfect humanity touches us, too. Best wishes and hope all is well soon.
Thinking of you all xx
Know that you receive love and support from people who only know you through reading your blogs.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for dooce. Things will undoubtedly improve. You’re both incredibly strong and wonderful people, based on what I’ve read in your blogs.
Keep focusing on the positive as often as is possible. Good luck!
Your update is helping andrew and I sleep better too. Thank you thank you thank you.
I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said… just that you and Heather are in my thoughts & prayers and I wish the best for both of you. We internet folks might go through a little withdrawal, but seriously, take all the time you guys need to beat this. Sometimes the most courageous thing to do is face your problems head-on, and you both get major thumbs-up for being so very proactive about this.
Also, as a psych student at the University of Utah, I feel that I should mention that our mental health facilities here ROCK.
You guys are amazing people. Take care.
I hope, hope, hope that this does the trick and you can all live happily ever after - or at least a reasonable approximation thereof.
You guys are far too cool for anything else…
big love going out to the blurb, the dooce, the frog and the congressman. i don’t know if it helps to have thousands of total strangers hanging on your every word, but for what it is worth, here we are.
some writer-type friends and i were talking yesterday about how impressed we were that, during the months heather described being so freaked out she could barely function, she also managed to post so frequently and charmingly to her website — a lot more so than some of us who are not depressed (or parents for that matter.) i’m hoping that was therapeutic for her, and didn’t just add to the stress of that time. damn you, dooce, for writing so well that your struggles are now as real to us as our own. be well and hurry home.
The courage you and Heather have, not only in the resolve you show in fighting this disease, but in fighting it so publicly, leaves me in awe.
Thank you.
Jon,
My best wishes to you both as you get through this. From as much as someone can come to know you both, only through your writings, I can tell that you both are amazing people and you are amazing for each other. Leta is fortunate to have been born into such a loving home.
Keep your heads up and remember that you have many friends out here, many of whom you don’t even know, who wish you only the best.
you guys are in my thoughts. i hope the best for you all.
I’m so relieved that things are looking up. I too can’t believe how much I’ve come to care about your little family. Sending all the positive vibes I’ve got…
I’m one of many to repeat that I am a long time reader of both your site and Heather’s. I think it is amazing how open you both have been about your situation. What you are doing has the possibility to help so many others that may be in the same boat. That is to be commended!!
Sincerest hopes for a speedy return of a happy and well rested Heather.
Dooce.com has brightened my day on so many occasions, and I feel as though I know all of you. I recently discovered Blurbomat through Heather’s site, and I’m so glad I did. You are amazing people, and I am inspired by both of you. I have no doubt that Heather’s strength as an individual, combined with your strength as a family will get her through this. I have never posted a comment on either of your sites, but I felt compelled to let you know that there are countless people out here in Internet-land who are sending all of our good thoughts and positive energy your way. Thank you so much for taking the time to update all of us during what I know is a stressful and chaotic period in all of your lives. Tell Heather we miss her and we’re all thinking of her.
Best wishes in this time of need. There are indeed decent people out here who care, it’s too bad it’s the assholes that always seem to type first
I’m glad to read than things are going well and I’m sending positiive vibes that they’ll only continue to improve.
As a long time reader of both your site and your wife’s, this seems a good time to make my first comment. My thoughts are with you and your family!
hey jon and heather,
you guys are the greatest. and what heather is doing is great and i think it shows how strong she is and how much of a great couple you guys make.
Heather + Jon,
The culture of blogs is a strange thing, I find. We don’t know each other and yet I have been so moved by your truthfulness and your bravery and your unbelievably brilliant words that I find myself wondering how you are doing throughout my day.
I wish you rest and comfort.
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
MARY OLIVER
Dream Work
Thank you for the update. I appreciate it so much, I know others who are worried are probably also very relieved to hear from you.
Best wishes to all of you out there in Utah.
Jon & Heather- Hang in there. I wish I could fly to Utah and give you both hugs. I want to say everything will be alright and hope with all my heart that it will be. Thank you so much for opening your lives to us– much love.
Kim
I’ve been reading Dooce’s site for a long time and only recently found yours. But you both have been in my thoughts as Dooce has struggled with her illness, and I’m wishing only happy things will come your way from now on. I know from a good friend’s experience what a hard time this is, but with love and patience and perseverance and a good set of doctors, you can make it through. Good luck to both of you, and all the best in the future. I am in awe of your courage.
Hang the naysayers and full speed toward a happy sleep infested recovery!
Heather is so brave for making the decision that she did. She’s very lucky to have you to support her.
I come from a family riddled with mental illness and thought I had made it through 28 years virtually unscathed…until I became a mother. My son is now 10 months old and I can safely say that I’m better now.
Everything is going to be ok. You’ll all make it through this.
I’ve been reading about both of your lives for nearly 9 months now. You two gave me insight into what my pregnancy was to hold (we gave birth 5/17) I just wanted to tell you both that you are in my prayers.
I am glad you posted and I just want to send all sorts of good vibes and energy to all of you.
Thank you for the update. You guys are an incredible couple, especially to share such a personal struggle. I’m thinking of you, Heather and Leta and sending much, much love.
I found dooce.com during a sad time in my life. Things are looking up for me now, but words cannot describe how much Heather’s writing lifted me up through some dark times.
I’m sending some positive vibes for you all from the South! Thank you so much for the update, Jon…you guys have certainly been in my thoughts. Take care.
keeping you all in our thoughs, and sending as much goodness, positive vibes and hugs [if them be needing] that we can muster.
go dooce!
bring home the gold!
(bronze is great, however)
my thoughts and good vibes are with you! here is to many sleep filled nights and sweet dreams. I wish you all the best!
thinking of you both. kudos for being so open and honest….you’ve inspired and helped many. i nearly burst into tears reading heather’s latest post (can’t remember how i found the site, but i’ve been reading for a while) and, well, sending all my hopes and prayers that this all is a smooth process. you’re a strong man, jon, and a wonderful husband………it’s easy to figure that out just from reading your posts.
(sigh of relief)
I don’t know why I thought you would update us (us, as in…all of us web-snoops) but thank God I double-checked here to be sure because I felt really sorrowful about My Favorite Dooce. Thanks for thinking about us at a time when you have every right to think only of yourself and your family. That is remarkable. You must understand that we care. I’m glad that shows. and xoxo’s for the beautiful Gangstah Chef!
p.s. We all have our trials AND our treasures. You’re a lucky man, Jon-without-the-H.
Now, Mr. Armstrong, if you can just get Heather to eat your refried beans, you four will be back in business in no time…
Thank you both so very much for taking the time to share your love for your family. You guys just amaze me…
My thoughts are with the three of you. It’s a tough thing to go through, but I am so glad that Heather has decided to do what is best for her, and in the long run, best for everyone. Bless you all.
Just wanted to express my support to the entire Hamilton/Amstrong Clan Of Three … I so dearly appreciate you giving us this window into your life. It gives your and Heather’s many thousands of readers the opportunity to really get to know the two of you as three-dimensional people dealing with three-dimensional challenges. I know the two of you have a lot of support “in real life,” but I just wanted to chime in one more voice of support here from the ether … much love to all three of you!
I heartily support and agree with all the love and well-wishes being sent your way. I’ve been reading both of you since just before Leta was born, and I’ve been emailing the Dooce words of encouragement from time to time. As a psychiatrist-in-training, I’ve seen what this is like for women, for their families, and I am so glad that Heather is getting the help that she needs. And she is so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. Vermont (yes, all of it, I’m passing a law) sends its love to all four of you.
(and PS–I called my husband last night to tell him, and it really was like I was telling him about friends of ours. How strange this blogworld is, and how wonderful that both of you are able to give so much to us.)
Heather, Jon & Leta — please know you are in my thoughts.
Dear Jon and Heather,
I’m pretty new here, but I would also like to add that your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Your courage and strength in these exhausting and trying circumstances is amazing. That you choose to share these private moments shows a generosity of spirit and being is awe inspiring.
My heart and support goes out to the four of you. I hope that this detour is brief so that you may return to each other stronger and more joyful.
Glad that things are going okay so far. Psych wards can be scary places (apparently most hospitals can’t afford to separate out the truly psychotic from the depressed/eating disorder people) but hopefully this will be a safe place for Heather to try out new meds and get some rest away from little Leta.
Just don’t forget that being a mom (or stay-at-home dad) can be utterly exhausting and frustrating and depressing for anyone–it’s hard to imagine how difficult this must be for someone who already has/had depression. Best wishes for your whole family, including the chuckster.
roses are red
violets are blue
refried beans
are good for you
lots of positive thoughts, hope there’s not too much gas.