Update
August 27th, 2004To all of you who have sent concern, good thoughts, well wishes and postive vibes I can’t thank you enough. We can’t thank you enough. I doubt I’ll be able to return all of the emails, so please don’t be offended if you don’t get a response.
Heather is doing well. After a sleepless night, she’s on a series of medications that seem to have calmed her down. Leta and I just got back from a wonderful lunch with Heather and things are looking more up than they have in a good while. Heather talked of taking a nap and that is probably the best thing she could have said to me. I’ve been so worried about her lack of sleep that anytime she lies down is a good sign.
I know that today is just a step, and no cure-all. Still, one must find the positive behind the anger, frustration and seeming futility. It has been so difficult to watch Heather suffer for so long. I’d list all the meds we’ve got in our medicine cabinet, but I don’t have the strength to type it all out. If we didn’t have insurance, we’d be screwed. She’s getting excellent help and they are looking into every possibility (blood work, thyroid, hormones, diet, et al).
On the me front, being with Leta has been wonderful. Her smile and cooing and squealing are a salve. She’s also apparently a fan of mushed refried beans, so that’s a good sign. I’m sure someone out there is going to chastise me for mentioning refried beans as the worse possible thing I could do for Leta. If that’s the case, I’d recommend that you wait awhile before clicking either the “Send” or “Post Comment” button.
I don’t know when I’ll update again, as I’ll be spending the next several days with Heather. I’m leaving comments open, in the hopes that if you were thinking of sending an email to either myself or Heather, you’ll consider leaving a note rather than sending the mail. I know it’s not as personal, but I guarantee she’ll read the comments before she’ll plow through her email. Besides, I think it’s good to share the love. More than anything else, experiencing this level of kindness has reaffirmed my faith in people to be nice and decent and good.
Thank you thank you thank you for your kindness. o
See? Not a single nasty post so far! Nearly 100 people love you guys enough to send there wishes. Here’s best wishes from person #98.
Lots of love to the four of you. I hope you can all get some decent rest in the near future.
speaking of beans, and somewhat off-topic: if you’re looking for an endearment for leta that beats “princess” hands down, i strongly recommend “bean”. just a thought.
just a quick note to let you know i’m thinking about you all–i feel like i’m a part of this with you, even though i only know you guys through your blogs. thank you SOOOO much for keeping us all updated. in line with lavonne’s suggestion–my father in law is obsessed with ‘frijoles negros’ and frijoles makes a great nickname, too! has leta discovered sour cream? watch out, she’ll have to have it on everything if she does! hang in there, guys. and don’t let the naysayers get you down, there are hundreds of us supporters out here to hold you up and poke the others with those hot forks of displeasure heather mentioned a while back!!! much love to you all…
Julie and I are praying for your recovery. The news that Heather is doing well is welcome.
Look at what you have done. Look at what you created. Look at all of the people you touched so strongly…that they couldn’t help but send you some prayers and love.
You guys have done a rare thing….
You’ve created a web culture of people who have never been in the same room as you…who also feel your pain…laugh at your joy….giggle at your mishaps….
I too, am one of the people who have read your sites FOREVER and finally posted. And while you don’t know me and my life…i’ve known you since “way back when”.
Thank you for what you’ve done. Take care of each other….get better soon. I’ll be here when you guys get back. I think we all will.
My thoughts are with your family.
You didn’t give Chuck any refried beans did you?
as the daughter of a psych-ward-mama, I am very very glad to hear that things are looking up. leta’s a lucky baby. best of luck.
Best wishes to you and your family. I hope Heather finds some peace soon….
All my thoughts and prayers are with you the three of you (and chuck).
i wish you nothing but sunshine…
Our thoughts are with you both during this time. I applaud your honesty and cadidness during this time. It is not easy to endure for Heather, nor for yourself. We wish you success on this journey
Canada
I really hope things will continue to look up for the two of you. Heather’s frank discussion of dealing with depression and anxiety has helped me deal with my own depression and anxiety.
I’ve been reading Dooce.com for three years now, and I hope Heather gets better soon, because I’m going through Dooce-inspired withdrawal myself!
Anyway, take care of yourselves–both of you and Leta and Chuck. I can’t wait until you come back.
{{{BlurboDooce}}}
More good thoughts on the way. I hope that you are all able to hang in there - it *will* be okay, I know it will. Sending more warm mushy cozy happy vibes that approximate the warmth and healing of Chuck cuddling up in all of your armpits at once.
You’re both very brave. Leta & Chuck are lucky kids. *mwah*
i’ve been reading dooce since about early 2002 - and i’ve learned so much from her words (and yours too, jon). reading her posts about leta has made me actually look forward to someday having a child, despite all of the rough things that go along with it. you are both amazing people. with a beautiful daughter and a super cute dog.
best of luck to all of you — although with each other i think you can get through anything.
Wow. If there was something else I could say to add to all of this love, I sure wish I could think of it! You and Heather are so strong, I’m proud to be a reader of both of your sites. You, Heather and Leta are in my thoughts muchly! Please take good care of yourself and your beautiful wife and wee girl. xoxo
Of course refried beans are fine — what the hell do babies in Mexico eat? My neice eats all kinds of foods that you aren’t supposed to give to kids (spicy, etc) and she’s fine. The beans are full of protein, and you are a good daddy.
Thinking of your family and sending you all the love and support in my heart. Hang in there. Things will get better.
Thanks much for the update, Jon. Thought of your joint posts all day yesterday.
You, Heather, Leta and Chuck are in my thoughts and prayers… sending waves of good karma from So FL.
I don’t know you guys, but I love you.
xoxoxoxoxo
You guys are an awesome family. I hope my little family is as awesome, literally, as yours is.
Lots of beams for you guys. Worried about you, hope all resolves well soon. Cyberhugs for Leta and the dog.
So, in a way I’m glad I’m not the only perfect stranger who is so completely in love with the Hamilton/Armstrong family, but man, I wish there had been a better way to find that out. What a tough situation, but I think you are both handling all of this with an amazing amount of courage and grace.
So while neither of you may ever read this, Heather and John I’m thinking about you a lot. I hope you know that there are hundreds, if not thousands of us out here, rooting for you. I don’t know that it will make it any easier to get through, but I do know that we all believe that if anyone can, its you two.
Hugs for John and Heather, cheesy treats for Chuck, and more beans for Leta.
With this much love how can you not prevail???
i have been a long time reader of dooce and have recently begun reading blurbomat as well. i too have become addicted. your honesty is refreshing. i love the fact that neither of you hold anything back, and are so willing to share such an immense amount of yourselves with all of us. I too have become so engaged, so captivated by your family that i worry about you all. i know that neither of you are particularly religious, but your family is in my prayers (hey it couldn’t hurt, right). i hope and pray that heather will be able to find the right combination of medicine and peace of mind to ease her struggles, and that you continue to draw strength from your beautiful leta.
Jon, thanks for keeping us updated. We care, and we’ve got nothing but good thoughts for you, Heather, Leta and Chuck.
holding you all in bright white healing light.
beans do a body good!
Good luck all.
Just a quick e-note to let you know that I too will keep Heather (and you and Leta) in my prayers.
I miss her already.
I’m so glad she’s there and I hope her stay does the trick. Sleep covers a multitude of sins.
Enjoy your time with Leta, it sounds like you are.
Much love coming from Detroit. But, you know, not the kind of love that sneaks up behind you and tries to steal your wallet. Heh!
Hi Jon and Heather and Leta,
My husband and I are regular readers of your two blogs, so we were rather concerned about Heather’s health. Sleep deprivation and paralyzing anxiety can be so detrimental to one’s physical health, sowe hope that this much-needed hospital stay is the start of better things to come. As a health care practioner, I know that there are many therapies from which to chose, but it’s figuring out the appropriate drug(s) and their dose(s), along with complementary therapies (psychotherapy, etc) etc. that is the real challenge …Best wishes from Vancouver, Canada.
i, too, have been waiting to hear how everything is going. i am amazed at heather’s strength as well as yours. i do not envy these tough times, but i do envy the love and strength you two have, that never seems to waiver.
it gives me hope.
i have faith in little, but i do have faith that you two will make it through this.
best,
Thanks so much for the update. You guys mean so much to so many, and we are all sending well wishes and prayers. I know you will get through this.
Hang in there!
Hi! New fan here!
Just wanted to say that I hope that Heather is doing better and that you and Leta are doing well.
Please keep us posted. I love reading both of your sites on a daily basis and was saddened to read that Heather wasn’t feeling so well these days.
Sending all my good vibes from Vancouver, BC!
~Autumn
I am glad to hear that Heather is sounding better. At least there is a glimmer of hope. I know how having a close family member admitted into a psychiatric ward feels. It is difficult to have them be gone, and also a little scary. I hope that they do as well for Heather as they did for my family member.
I know that you two are not the religious type, but I have been praying for you guys. You have a beautiful family. Your daughter Leta is so sweet and cute. I love seeing pictures of her.
I bet that Heather loves looking at her, too.
Anyway, I wish the best for you four. At least you guys know that lots and lots of people care about you.
Love in Christ,
Amber <><
I did send you an email yesterday, just because I wanted to try and share some hope and something positive, not because I was expecting a reply. Your whole family is in my prayers. Good luck.
You’re all going to come through this with flying colors. You will. You will.
(If the entire internet says it’s so, then it’s so.
been checking back to see what’s what and was so upset to see heather’s post from yesterday — but so grateful all the same that she is taking the initiative to make herself well again. and my thoughts and prayers are with all three of you that you get through this hurdle and come across the finish line with huge smiles. it’s waiting for you… will just take a little bit of time to get there, that’s all…
add me to the list of strangers who love and are rooting for you guys. good luck, kids. you are adorable, hilarious, loving people, and you’ll all be okay.
xo!
I cried when I read Heathers post because I so know where she is coming from. Now that the hardest decision has been made and ACTED upon (that’s so hard to do) she should find some peace. Consider hiring a “mommy’s helper” when she comes home. It’s a teenager that kind of “babysits” while you are home so you can relax and get things done. They help clean and entertain the kiddos. I have so much more I want to say but I will keep it short - you are in my prayers nightly (my mother would swoon - I’m praying for a mormon family and it doesn’t involve salvation… LOL) Take care - and beans are good for the digestive track - but be prepared for some doozies of a diaper change.
I love you man!
i must come back and add that as someone who has helped her mother through a years long battle with bipolar disorder, that you both are so brave and strong.
that heather is willing to face something so scary, and better yet, ask for help, is an excellent sign that she will succeed.
again, surrounding your family with healing.
thank you so much, jon, for giving us an update. I know I’ve been checking back periodically. There’s so much love and good thoughts going out to your family right now. Heather was one of the first things I thought about when I woke up this morning, and I just sent up prayers for her wellbeing and sleep! lots of sleep! Much love to you guys.
My best wishes to all three of you. This will be an extremely trying time, no doubt, but at least you can both see the light at the end of the tunnel. Things will get better.
Like Fiona…I’m de-lurking. Here’s why: My Mom has been calling me from Michigan (I live on the East Coast)–and I have been calling her (specifically!!) so that we can to put our heads together and G-dammit, figure out what’s best for Heather/Jon/Leta & Chuck. We think, we discuss, we empathize. World peace be damned for the moment. (Not really, but you know what I mean).
By the way, we are in the “Feed the Baby Beans Club and give the Dog an Occasional shot of Baileys Club” though you can try and buy Emmets–it’s the same stuff only cheaper.
Heather: If you need to ride a Harley naked through the desert while trying out whatever medication they can offer you…Great! Have at it my girl.
And when you start feeling better, please know that decent, Bailey’s chugging, Baby Bean Eatin’, Book Readin’ people throughout the land thank you and Jon for your writing. Many thoughts sent your way.
P.S. Baby Ruby Lee (I’m her non-blood Auntie) at 7 mos. is currently chowing on guacamole with a touch of Pedro’s salsa thrown in for good measure. Leta might like it with some beans!
Good luck Y’all. Hopefully the collective good will vibe can provide some support.
Snythia
Sending all three of you lots of love and thoughts from Seattle. Heather has been on my mind and I wish her all the best. Thank God she has a good man beside her.
The honesty and humor the two of you bring to the blogosphere is greatly appreciated. I’m sure Leta will be blogging in no time….
I’m so glad that you put up an update and things are going better. You guys are in my thoughts & prayers. It’s gonna get better!
people in new york are thinking about your family, too.
Post-partum anxiety is a bitch. My daughter’s Leta’s age, and I’ve also struggled. Heather, you’re a brave girl. It takes guts to get help. Jon, you’re a saint for standing by her. Thinking of you and hoping this is a new beginning.
Holding all three of you in the light.
JZ
All three of you are in my thoughts.
- Lauren
Lots of love to you and your family–
Don’t worry about the beans, just be sure to eat plenty yourself so you guys aren’t too bothered by each other’s smell. The family that toots together stays together!
Heather, you are brave and smart and so, so making the right decision for you and your family. Here’s to you feeling much better very soon, and finding rest and peace and joy again.
Jon, all men should aspire to be the kind of husband and dad that you are. You rock the fuckin’ Casbah, man. Don’t forget to do good things for yourself when you can, too - you deserve it.
Best wishes and lots of love to the both of you, as well as your scrumptious little frijolita (Frijo-Leta?).
Can we all play “Guess Heather’s Diagnosis”? Will there be a prize for the lucky winner?
That’s not meant as an insensitive laughing-at-you comment (for those who think surely this can only be a tragedy). I’ve been living on the other side of the rabbit hole for so long, I’ve simply found the humor. I bet Heather will too. Eventually.