Update
August 27th, 2004To all of you who have sent concern, good thoughts, well wishes and postive vibes I can’t thank you enough. We can’t thank you enough. I doubt I’ll be able to return all of the emails, so please don’t be offended if you don’t get a response.
Heather is doing well. After a sleepless night, she’s on a series of medications that seem to have calmed her down. Leta and I just got back from a wonderful lunch with Heather and things are looking more up than they have in a good while. Heather talked of taking a nap and that is probably the best thing she could have said to me. I’ve been so worried about her lack of sleep that anytime she lies down is a good sign.
I know that today is just a step, and no cure-all. Still, one must find the positive behind the anger, frustration and seeming futility. It has been so difficult to watch Heather suffer for so long. I’d list all the meds we’ve got in our medicine cabinet, but I don’t have the strength to type it all out. If we didn’t have insurance, we’d be screwed. She’s getting excellent help and they are looking into every possibility (blood work, thyroid, hormones, diet, et al).
On the me front, being with Leta has been wonderful. Her smile and cooing and squealing are a salve. She’s also apparently a fan of mushed refried beans, so that’s a good sign. I’m sure someone out there is going to chastise me for mentioning refried beans as the worse possible thing I could do for Leta. If that’s the case, I’d recommend that you wait awhile before clicking either the “Send” or “Post Comment” button.
I don’t know when I’ll update again, as I’ll be spending the next several days with Heather. I’m leaving comments open, in the hopes that if you were thinking of sending an email to either myself or Heather, you’ll consider leaving a note rather than sending the mail. I know it’s not as personal, but I guarantee she’ll read the comments before she’ll plow through her email. Besides, I think it’s good to share the love. More than anything else, experiencing this level of kindness has reaffirmed my faith in people to be nice and decent and good.
Thank you thank you thank you for your kindness. o
Much love and good thoughts and prayers to two of the most honest, refreshing, down-to-earth, strong, and REAL people I’ve ever read.
You willl all get through because you share love. I admire your strength, and your courage for sharing.
Going to go put my money where my mouth is now…
Dooce & Blurb…Firstly, thanks for the laughs, the insight and the reality of it all.
Most importantly, though, take care and do good.
Missing the Dooce and Wishing for The Best,
Bee
Your story has touched me deeply.
As the 50 year old daughter of a woman who suffered a major post partum psychiatric illness following the birth of my younger sister, be commended for getting Heather the help she needs in a timely way. Thanks to the gods of modern medicine help is lightyears improved over what was available circa 1957. (Freudian therapy and insulin shock as in “Beautiful Mind”) We all survived Mom’s ordeal and my sister and I grew up to be strong, compassionate, healthy women. My Dad was our rock through the years of her illness and the search for a treatment that worked. Her diagnosis was manic depression and our family made a lifetime comittment to her loving care. Did I mention that my Dad was our rock. I pray that Heather’s prognosis is good and that a treatment plan that works can be found soon. Know that Leta will thrive in the care of those who love her… that is clear. I pray for strength and patience for you all. Know that everything will work out.
I’m a firm believer that the strength pouring across the world for you, Heather, and well…Chuck…can cure anything.
Best of luck and wishing you all the support in the world…
Heather’s strength amazes me. It’s rather clichÈ, but I’m thinking about all of you.
Blurb and Dooce- Thank you for sharing your relationship so candidly with the world. Observing the relationship between the two of you gives me hope for a marriage as strong, real, and supportive as yours.
Ya’ll are good people.
Prayin’ for ya.
every time my own depression gets so bad that i wonder how i can go on, i think of heather. stay strong and get well. you are amazing people.
Well, I e-mailed too. Because I am just that much of a loser :o) . Number 259, maybe, and counting! I just finished reading Dooce-through-Blurb, and I’m so glad that things are looking up. But you guys are awesome, so I, at least, knew that sometime, somehow things would get better. After all, it couldn’t have gotten much worse. I hope everything only goes up from here! Internet love your way (ewww, sticky), in the most non-stalkerish way possible! Can’t wait to hear from you guys again!
Best wishes to you, Heather and your family. You two are amazing, and reading of your battle and everything youve been through gives hope. You are truly wonderful people.
I have just started reading your blogs this year, and I love reading them both.
You both seem like such wonderful people, and I am so glad you share so much of yourselves for us to read. I am thinking about all of you, and Dooce, I hope that you get some sleep and get better!
Know that there are many people out there thinking about you all.
Take care,
Cathy
As someone who was depressed after the birth of my first child, I am so glad you and Heather are making this public. There was nothing worse for me than thinking I was simply a bad person or mother.
I’ll be keeping your small family in my thoughts.
Heather R.
Glad to hear she is feeling a bit better.
Babysteps!
definitely sending the love…
Wow - as i’m not usually a bigtime citizen on the internet, i’m stunned at the fact i’m worried for a family i don’t even know (worrying is my version of caring). but having suffered depression before, and now preparing to have my first baby and being terrified of slipping into PPD bigtime, i am buoyed by your bravery and the potential for family love to raise us all up out of the doldrums. as others have said, that love will get you through. sending Jon Heather Leta my best thoughts….
Good luck, guys. xxx
shit. sending lots of love and appluadng you both on your courage and honesty. I hope your superlove carries you both through to the other side.
also - refried beans? awesome.
officially: sharing all my love and concern and hope and admiration to both of you! fight on. my sister has gone through a similar disease, back before they actually accepted it as that, and is now the sister i remember. have hope and strength, all will be well!! i wish all of you the best of luck, and to leta, wonderous happiness and buckets of refried beans.
love,
<- elyse
hey armstrongs,
we’re thinking of you and know you’ll get through this and we love you very very much.
dear jon, heather and leta,
i’ve been reading dooce and blurbomat since january of this year, and this is the first time i’ve commented. i’ve laughed with you (from far away), enjoyed every picture, hurrahed! over leta’s arrival and cheered chuck on as he ate george w. and perhaps i would have stayed quiet, save for wanting to tell you how many good thoughts and prayers i have been sending to your family throughout this past year but especially now. as someone who has dealt with depression since childhood in a family where we did not discuss such things (even though it runs in the family) until my younger sister’s became too harmful to deny. though the past year has been hell for nearly all members of my family, it has also brought us closer together and we are able to talk about things we should have been talking about long ago. and i am glad to be able to talk about it openly with others now too and fighting the stigma. thank you for choosing to share this with all of us and letting us support you, because the truth is that supporting you is supporting myself- and somehow it’s much too hard to remember to do unless it’s tied to other people. be well.
The Goyettes wish you both and Leta the very best. We’ve been there, with small children and know how difficult this road is. It does get better in time.
All the best,
Julie
p.s. i really wish i was able to edit my comment: with a sentence fragment and horrible grammar, no one would know i majored in english. gah!
Just wanted to say that I have been reading Heather’s site for quite a while now, and recently yours. Both of you have such an amazing way of expressing yourselves. It’s always a pleasure to read your sites. I really hope Heather gets better and soon. Your love is an inspiration to me. Leta is sooo lucky to have parents like you.
Wishing the best for her mommy!
Refried beans rule! They grow in water! I’m sure Leta is digging them even if her diapers in the aftermath aren’t:) You sound like a super dad Jon, any kid would be so lucky! Courage, patience, love and strength to both of you wonderkinds in all of this… keep sharing, keep writing, keep hoping and dreaming!
Wow. I’m so in awe of Heather’s courage and strength. I really don’t even know how to put what I’m feeling in to words, but I just want you guys to know how much I respect both you and Heather. You, Jon, for your loyalty and your strength, too, as a husband. You both rock my socks all over the place, and I feel honoured to reading your sites!Also, I’ll keep you guys in my prayers if that means anything to you.
Heather you are an inspiration to us all. You will all be in my thoughts.
wow…so many people have posted. I’m not sure if this would be any different than the others. I just hope the best for your little family. I’ve been reading Heather’s blog for a long while now and she’s been so generous to share her life and beautiful pics with the internet. My prayers are with you guys.
I know things will work out. When I spoke with Heather on the phone ages ago, she told me how badly you two were trying for little Leta. Now you have her! Without any doubt, I know you will find the peace you need - eventually - from all of this as well. It takes time. I, too, suffer from depression which was aggravated by Graves’ Disease (a thyroid disease) and am beginning to see the light after months of different meds, no meds, radiation, and new meds. It’s hard and a struggle for everyone involved. Stay strong. You have a tremendous support system, and I am most definitely a part of it.
As a long time reader, first time commenter, I felt the urge to write and let you know that you have people all the way up in Canada sending you good vibes and best wishes.
Much love to you, Jon without an ‘H’ (I have one of my own..he’s very particular about the lack of H) and Leta.
Thank you for the update. I’m glad Heather is already feeling a bit better.
As for the refried beans - my daughter was eating lemons and hummus at Leta’s age. She’s now 15 months old and likes anything from sauerkraut to raw peppers. Ignore any naysayers you might come across. They’re just beans for heavens sake.
THANK you for updating on Heather; I’ve been thinking of her all weekend. Heather - woman, you rock. You are an awesome person, a fabulous mother, and I am so happy for you that you are seeking the help you need. There is NEVER shame in publicly talking about trials in life; God knows we all have them; we should only be so grateful for you in reminding us we are all human and that it is normal and right to be “not ourselves” at times. I admire you so –
You’re all in my thoughts so much these last — months? Certainly more than ever in the last few weeks. The sheer, bonebreaking strength that it must require, Heather, to be in the place you’ve been in and to continue focusing on your value to the world, is difficult for me to imagine. Shiny vibes to all 3.75 of you.
Jon, I am amazed at the strength that both you and Heather have shown. I will have nothing but good thoughts coming your way in the coming weeks and months. I do hope this is the lowest of the swinging pendulum, and that things start going up from here.
not to be irritating — this is the THIRD freaking time i’ve posted — but since i know my previous post might get lost in all the love, i’d like to reiterate:
“riding the coattails of ëKrisí: if we each clicked the dooce ìdonateî link and put in ten measly bux, that would beÖwhat, enough for a short vacation for these kids, right? or enough to keep then in refried beans for a yearÖ or help them out for a couple months with expensesÖ
if i knew where to send flowers or books or good CDs iíd have done all that, as i think many of you wouldíve. so what do you say we all chip in a few greenbacks in lieu of those things?”
http://www.dooce.com/donate.html
your friends in san francisco are pulling for you. soon there will be days with more naps, more laughter, more delight and more ease. know that there can’t possibly be any more love, however, that that which your family shares now, and which everyone else who cares for and about you surrounds you with at a distance.
We are sending all three of you all our love and good vibes.
Jon, I’m so glad Heather and Leta have you to lean on. Make sure you take time to take care of yourself too.
Heather, I’ so glad you are getting the help you need and our thoughts are with you. As a bipolar mom I know some of what you are going through and I know you can find a solution that works. Much love to you honey.
Leta, What great parents you have! You are the cutest baby in your age group!
Hugs to all of you and we’ll keep thinking our good thoughts and sending them your way.
Jon
Thanks for leaving this open.
Friends are the outward appearance that your prayers are heard.
I add my prayers to all the above.
Your web log [yours and Heathers] sharing has bound all of us together. You know we love your family and we know you will succeed and get through this.
jon, thanks so much for the update. all of us out here that care about heather and her family are FLOODING the blogosphere with wishes for a speedy and successful recovery.
Oops, I wrote an email to Heather before checking your site. Well, better to indulge in a little good wishes overkill every now and then, eh?
My heart goes out to you and Heather, for your current problems. You are really great people, and I have enjoyed reading your blogs for ages now. For all the wonderful moments of entertainment and laughs you’ve given us, THANK YOU. The only thing I have to give you in return is good wishes and prayers that you will soon have a happy and healthy Heather back at home with you.
Your support of Heather during this time is truly heartwarming, Jon. How lucky you are to have each other.
Sending thoughts and prayers to you from my family to yours… you’ll get through this, I’m sure!
Just wanted to join the cacophony (sp?) of e-voices out here wishing all three of you all the best.
As someone who suffers from the ‘Big D’ myself, I have so much empathy, sympathy, understanding and anguish for you guys! And most of all respect for the way that you are both facing these problems together.
Get well soon, Heather! Stay strong Jon! Keep being gorgeous Leta!
Dear GOD, thank the Lord you guys posted. Happy to hear that Heather’s feeling better, and seems to be on the road to recovery. And how amazingly lucky is she to have you as her support!
Hang in there, kiddos. I see light at the end of the tunnel.
I just read Heather’s post. It brought back some pretty painful memories of my own journey. Ouch for me and Ouch for MamaDooce. I know that she will get through this. My heart is full of faith and admiration and Heather is right. We are all out here praying and rooting for her. If ever there were a cool, rockin’, kick ass chick- Heather is it. Stigma-shmigma. Who cares what other people think.
it is wonderful to know that heather is in good hands.
your sites help people who are not directly exposed to a mental illness understand a bit how difficult the process is…mental illnesses are often misunderstood and those suffering can be left feeling that they should have control over it. these illnesses are chemical imbalances that need to be treated professionally, either through therapy or medically or both.
we watched as a relative took a downward spiral after the death of her husband. it is difficult to determine when to intervene. and while the important thing is that we finally did…it was still painful and we were full of guilt and questioning.
we are now working with a close relative with obessive-compulsive disorder. a very complicated and difficult disease for all involved. an innocent person with a wonderful personality is plagued with something that is beyond her control. luckily we live in a city with an excellent center that specializes in that. the guilt and questioning is there as well as with any disease.
thank you, thank you, thank you.
embrace beans!
P.S. If someone wants to mess with the Dooce, send ‘em my way and I’ll lay down some slow karate on dey ass.
How is it that a family can charm the ENTIRE Internet?
You guys have so many good vibes coming your way right now, Leta will probably be in a cap and gown before your good vibes run out.
My thoughts are with all of you.
Heather may you find your way out of the black hole that too many of us know very well.
Sending love to all the Armstrongs, you are in my thoughts.
I think both of you are very brave and strong and are amazing. This is a dark period now but I’m positive both of you will pull through. We love you Heather. Take care.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Love and smiles and hope sent your way from the East Coast.
I never thought I’d be leaving a comment on this site, but the recent entries on both your and your wife’s sites have moved me and touched me. I truly believe that you two (or three rather) will pull through this and be fine. The abundance of love shines through your websites and there is nothing that that much love can’t defeat. At the risk of sounding corny I have truly been inspired. I wish and hope nothing but happiness for your beautiful family.