Sad Tubes
September 14th, 2004Whenever I see pictures of infants who are getting medical care, the first thing I freak out about is seeing all the tubes. My first thought isn’t that the kid is getting help. It’s always, oh man, look at the tubes. And I instantly think of Leta and hope she never has so many tubes.
Yesterday, when I laid Leta down on the MRI table, she was zonked out. Limp. It was pretty hard to see her like this, as even when she sleeps normally, she moves a bit more than she did yesterday. They put little ear plugs in and put a little oxygen tube into her nose. They wrapped a blanket into a U shape around her head and put a toe monitor on her, as well as a blood pressure cuff around her calf. My baby was the one with all the tubes.
Seeing the machine slide the table into the MRI tube freaked me out. It was so Brave New World. Both Heather and I stayed in the room to make sure nothing went wrong, but my instinct was to stand right there and look into the tube the whole time. Unfortunately, that would have blocked the view from the nurses station outside and so Heather and I sat in rocking chairs, put the plugs in our ears, held hands tightly, and waited for the process to end. I can’t believe Leta slept through the whole thing, as MRI machines are noisy. Industrial manufacturing plant noisy.
I have to give maximum ups to Heather for keeping it together. She was so strong, even when Leta was long overdue for a nap. Leta isn’t like other kids who can fake it through nap times. She’s got the Hamilton nap gene. You can see it come over her like a slow wave and finally, her eyes have a look that say “Get me to a nap immediately, otherwise I will unzip my skull and the alien overlords that control me will compel me to devour you.”
Leta is very similar to her mother in this way, and I’ve learned to heed the eyes. Yesterday, we couldn’t heed the eyes and had to call in reinforcements. Fortunately, Heather’s mother and step-father were there with us and Leta’s grandmommie (we spell it with the “ie”) saved the day.
Once they dosed her, Leta became Dean Martin (do we have any funny drunks in our generation?), slurring words and pontificating while wobbling back and forth. She was bittersweetly hilarious.
After Heather’s arms gave out, we moved Leta to a gurney and Heather took a break. I was alone with my comatose daughter and the sadness of the day took over for a bit. I almost started to cry, seeing her in this state and letting the worry get to me. I felt two emotions at that moment. The first was that I needed to hold my shit together for Heather. The second was that Leta was going to be fine.
Even though you’ve probably all read it on dooce, Leta is totally fine. Her brain is fine. Her skull is fine. Fine. Me? I need a drink. o
what a day, huh?
I’m SO glad it all went well. Thanks for letting us know.
it’s wonderful to read (here and at dooce) that leta is well. it’s really amazing to be able to read the mother and father’s side of the experience. i really enjoy both of the blogs. thank you, not for being more interesting than other people (though, i’m sure you are), but for writing it down. this goes for you and the dooce. and an enthusiastic head nod to leta and chuck for being amusing, and worthy of total entries to themselves.
I can imagine her being a funny drunk and it makes me laugh. I wish you’d taken a movie…but I guess that would’ve been very strange.
I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear from you and your bride that all is well.
I’d give you both a nice glass of whiskey if we weren’t in different time zones.
I did send dooce an email, but, props to you, too! Props to you both! You guys are so strong and it’s such a relief to hear that your wee girl Leta is OK. WHEW!
Whew! I found myself wondering about you guys as I went about my day. I bet that feels weird, eh? So glad Leta’s head is fine.
The tubes. My God, the tubes. My baby, now 20 months old, was in the hospital with RSV last February, and the thing that absolutely broke my heart was the tubes. And the IV. And the funny Ace bandage/sock contraption they had to wrap around the IV to keep him from tearing it out. I’m so sorry you and Heather (and Leta, although mercifully she was asleep) had to live through the tubes. One look at your baby like that can shatter your heart into little bits.
I’m glad the story had a happy ending. I believed that it would. Once again I am knocked out by the strength and love that abound in your family. And I’ll bet Leta on Nembutal was heart-wrenching, and hysterically funny, all at once. You give her a hug from her whole circle of virtual godparents.
soooooooo glad to hear that everything is ok! my thoughts have been with you guys!!!! I would have LOVED to see that baby as a funny drunk though!!! LOL
I’m so happy to hear everything went well! I can’t imagine having to see my sweet Lucy with tubes.. in the tube. I’m also glad you could keep it together for each other– thank goodness Leta is a healthy girl!
So glad to hear everything went well. I knew it would!!
JAY to all the great worldwide-www-vobes! i’m really glad she’s fine. cheerio ;o)
i meant to say www-vibes.. but i guess you knew that.. duh.
Wow. I can not imagine what it must have been like to see your own child with the tubes. It kills me every time my son gets even a little bit sick. I’m so glad everything is fine!! Did they have any thoughts on why it bothers Leta so much to put weight on her feet?
YAY!! I’m so relieved that Leta is ok. I kept checking all day long at work for an update and wasn’t able to check once I got home. I’m sure all of us aren’t nearly as relieved as you and Heather are. You and Heather are such strong, wonderful people, you’ll get through anything this crazy world throws at you. All my best again, and I’m glad Leta is back to normal!!!
I’m so glad that Leta is OK. I know that that will make you guys OK too!
It’s ironic that I’m reading your post now. I’m a nurse practitioner in a very large medical center, and some of my patients are kids. I just finished helping put 2 needles into a 3 year old. We have to do this every 2 weeks in order to treat her. We also have a 6 yo (and that’s the hardest for me-she’s not even a month older that my daughter, same size, etc), a 7 yo, a 9 yo…you get the picture. And we do this to them every 2 weeks in the hope that this will keep much worse things from happening to them in the future. But it’s very hard. And it’s SO hard for me to watch the parents. I know that they’re torn-they know why we’re doing it (and indeed they gave us permission) but the obvious instinct is to throw themselves between their child and the sharp object that’s coming at them!
You guys got the best possible news-that all is well. And I’m so glad.
You deserve a drink and so does Heather. Glad to hear all is fine. Sounds like Heather is doing very well. Sleep is a wonderful thing for mood enhancement. Blessings to you all.
Yet again, my post went haywire. Oh well….I just wanted to send more good wishes to you all. Glad everything turned out okay.
Pat Benatar was wrong… Sometimes Hell is for Fathers. Real Fathers anyway. Your post brought up a bit of a memory and a “man-cry” for me too.
Sorry you had to endure, but glad to hear the good news.
I’m glad everything went well. There is no medical procedure so small that freaking out is not your god-given right as a parent. When my daughter was 1-ish she had to have her chronically-oozy tear duct cleared with a tiny wire - a minor procedure by any definition of the word, but… anesthesia is anesthesia, and a good freak out was definitely in order.
dr. dave (who is currently trying not to have a similar freak-out over an impending cat-4 hurricane)
Glad to hear Miss Leta is well and back in her usual form.
So happy to hear the good news about Leta!
Also, in regards to work, you are probably aware of companies like these (and I’m not sure how much work they send your way), but just got a card in the mail for http://www.artisantalent.com. It says they hook up creative types (graphic designers, art directors, web designers, etc.) with clients. Maybe something to look into to build a freelance client base?
Oh, the terror. To know that your baby is about to get sucked to where you can’t see her and stuff is about to be done to her and you can’t do anything to help it and you desparately want to do something and…
I pray that I will never have to undergo what you did. My hat is off to you and Heather.
Jon, I can only hope that one day some brave soul will be trying to keep it together for me only a few months after he remodeled the kitchen. As she keeps on saying, Heather SO married the right guy, and if there is any justice in the universe, all this shall pass. I just hope I can still hear the details when Leta goes to the prom in a strapless with some teenaged ne’r do well in a cumberbund.
Wishing you and your family every good thing.
~jane
The tubes… if only we were talking about Fee Waybill. My son was hospitalized at 18 months old for a week with pneumonia & chicken pox… the tubes were everywhere and I thought I was going to die.
You and Heather are such a joyÖ the fact that you both write about your life in such a beautiful way will be cherished by your children as they grow older. Your perspective is awesome, but when weíre talking about giving ìmaximum upsî I have to say Heatherís ìÖwhen I didnít know what it was like to have my soul wrapped inside the palm of a babyî line is probably the most beautiful thing Iíve ever seen written about what its like to be a mother.
Mad love to you both,
Laura B
Many hugs to the Armstrong Fam. I have recently been through a lot of medical crap as well. Holding it together for the sake of those around you is noble. But, you are human too Jon. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Maybe you and H can throw things across the room once a week for therapy! It could make for a lot of laughs.
My heart goes out to you. My two are almost grown, but I still remember their early troubles with trepidation. It’s heartbreaking seeing babies like that. You, Heather, and Leta are in my thoughts and have my well wishes.
On another note, no one has yet topped Foster Brooks for the world’s funniest drunk. I couldn’t wait for his turn on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. (okay - so this date’s me a little.
There’s something wrongly entertaining about the phrase, “I’m glad Leta’s head is okay.” But it’s true, we’re all glad…your entire cult.
I am so glad Leta is ok. MRI’s are scary for little ones!
So wonderful that Leta Her Screamness is well.
I got chills when I read this on Dooce: It felt like the calm as a thunderstorm parts and the sun shoots through the opening in the clouds, and the wind blows the scent of wet leaves and grass into the shadows across the pavement: the feeling of being spared.
Of course I’ve heard the analogy of the sun parting the clouds, and the calm after a storm, but the wind blowing the scent of wet leaves and grass into the shadows? What an amazing and singular talent and heart!
My son was born 6 weeks early and had multitudes of tubes wrapped around him. The scarier thing for me was the oxygen tent. Poor little Bubbala couldn’t even get enough oxygen on his own. He’s fine now…24 lbs at 8 months. Bubbala!
Yes, I read all about it on Dooce.com and I’m happy everything turned ou o.k. You are most blessed.
it’s so crazy to me how much your family touches me, but i don’t even know you guys. both my boyfriend and i read dooce and i find myself saying “i hope heather is going to be alright” or “did you see, leta has to get an mri”. you all seem like an amazing group and i thank the both of you for sharing your personal lives. it’s touching. i’m glad everything is alright…
Dude - one Maker’s Mark w/lime, size XL, stat. You’ve so earned it.
Knowing Leta’s OK is a lovely thing.
WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that all of our prayers have been answered and things will be better. Keep the strength!
I’m happy for you, and sympathize as much as a non-parent can. My then-8-year old cousin was injured in an accident in 1997, and the hardest thing I’ve ever done is visit him in the hospital, trying it be strong, but so freaking scared for him.
Sad to say, Leta looking so tiny and vulnerable will be a memory you and Heather will always have, though Leta won’t. I had surgery at 13 months, and now, 27 years later, my parents still talk about how scary/weird/sad/happy-ending it was.
So happy that everything turned out to be fine. What a harrowing experience it must have been.
Read it over at Dooce, but it is nice to get your perpective on things!! Very glad that Leta is going to be just fine!
No kidding, you need a drink. What a day you had!
I’ll drink a martini in your honor tonight. Oh, wait, you guys are scotch drinkers. Well, I guess I’ll try my first ever Maker’s Mark on the rocks!
I can’t imagine the tubes. When my stepdaughter was born, my sweetie had to run out for a bit and when he came back, there was an IV in HER HEAD. And his ex, Satan, who told him to go in the first place to get her stuff, totally wigged on him for leaving.
As to small heads, Leta’s in good company. It is pathetically hilarious that I, at the age of 27, now own a pair of Mary-Kate and Ashley glasses. Sigh. They’re really cute, though. Glad to know it’s just a small head and y’all can breathe easy with Screamy McDrunk over there.
i am a dooceoblurb fan. love to read both outlooks on things like this. you are strong and supportive and just wonderful. i want a husband like you! you and heather’s love inspires so many, and restores faith in love that seems as it’s been lost at times. wonderful news that Leta is prefectly healthy! blessings….
…big sigh of relief. Very big sigh.