Horrorscope

November 8th, 2004

I can only imagine the body tensing pain that my wife would experience if she read my horoscope today:

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) – Today is a 6 — Take some of your hard-earned cash and get a tool you’ve been wanting. It isn’t hard to justify; you’ll make the money back in no time.

Do they not know that they are talking to a geek here? I can think of about $10k US just off the top of my head in “tools”.


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57 Responses to “Horrorscope”

  1. dooce says:

    take two steps AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW. I have my browser on the checking account and I’m hitting refresh, buddy.

  2. Christi Lee says:

    Sounds like you’ve got yourself a dilemma…I’d buy the toy and four jumbo bags of Buffalo wings. You’ll have about 15 min head start (that is if she eats them frozen) before she catches up to you…oh, she did get you in the balls once, so you deserve it.

  3. Liz says:

    Just ask everyone who comments on this post to click each of your google ads and you’ll be set!

  4. Caroline says:

    she’d probably be about as impressed as if you were to tell her you had your heart set on quintuplets.

  5. blackbird says:

    My 19 year old is a Leo…I cannot begin to describe the terror that has come upon me regarding this horrorscope. Thanks a lot.

  6. k-lo says:

    They’re not ‘tools’, they’re toys!

  7. seannarae says:

    JON!

    http://www.aaton.com/products/sound/cantar/index.php

    oozing the high-end geek goodness

    seannarae

  8. Coelecanth says:

    The only reason I do maintenance around the house is so I can buy new tools. Do I really need a torque wrench to fix our bicycles? No, but they’re sooo cool. My SO hasn’t caught on yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

  9. dooce says:

    seannarae, one more link like that and YOU WON’T LIKE THE ANGRY DOOCE.

    avert your eyes, jon. DON’T CLICK THAT LINK.

  10. mihow says:

    Everyone needs one of these:

    http://tinyurl.com/6d9cz

    To go with their new G5. Yes.

  11. mihow says:

    And it’s best to get the size closest to your age. I have found.

  12. alexanderino says:

    Jon,

    submitted for your consideration:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00064O8Z8/

    I am confident Dooce will be amenable.

    Cheers,
    Jason

  13. di says:

    mmm…. new tools

    my husband, jon, is going into withdrawal these days as we work to pay down debt and stop spending (well, mostly stop). god help us, we are full-fledged geeks and sometimes the temptation is just TOO GREAT. damn you, apple!

    then again, we don’t have DOOCE ready to kick our asses either.

  14. Abby says:

    OK, the link that was posted by seannarae…so geeky that I don’t even know what it IS!! But all of the little dials are very impressive. And I’m sure that it’s worth whatever the quote that you have to request is. On the other hand, if you have to ask the price you can’t afford it. I’d go w/mihow. (BTW, sorry, but a pinball machine can’t possibly be classified as a tool! Much to my husband’s dismay.)

  15. Jo says:

    Ohhhhh: http://www.aaton.com/products/sound/cantar/index.php

    Drool drool… so many flashing lights, dials and buttons….. how can you possibly resist when your horoscope is validating a purchase of such geeky joy.

    I too am a Leo with slightly geeky tendencies….. AND and I’m going to get my credit card out!! ;-)

  16. honestyrain says:

    when in doubt, spend. makes me wish i were a leo….

  17. amy says:

    I hit the links to your sponsors.. hope Liz was right.

  18. MrsDoF says:

    You have no idea how glad I was to click over to here and not see that red/blue/purple map anymore.
    Thank you for letting me go to bed with the image of a wrench being held just over your head by the hand of your wife. Please don’t wake the baby.

  19. Certainly someone other than Amanda B. says:

    But dude, no really. Check these out.

    My husband is thinking of trading his left testicle for one of these…

  20. Amanda B. would never do THIS... says:

    http://www.whiteboxrobotics.com

  21. Fish says:

    Table. Saw.

    happiness.

  22. Em says:

    Aw, money for geekdom is money well spent! :)

  23. Nobody says:

    1. Bring home kitten / puppy; introduce to wife.
    2. Announce that Best Buy was giving away puppies / kittens with [insert name of purchased device here] but of course they can be returned.

  24. beachgal says:

    Damn! I had no idea pinball machines cost that much. And those other contraptions, I have no idea what they are all about. Guess I’m not geek enough. But I’m a Leo, as is hubby, so I guess that explains his recent purchase of a four-wheeler. But I don’t think that is a tool, either. Wonder what I can buy.



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