To the Internet: Chill
January 26th, 2005I know the New Year’s resolutions aren’t working out and we all spent too much on the holidays. So what’s the obsession with my baby girl and how she sits in her carseat? There’s a lot of other things going on in the world today, so Internet, what gives?
Leta is nearly a year old. She’s tall for her age and will not fit comfortably in ANY publicly available carset that faces the rear of the vehicle. We decided that because of her height AND weight, it’s fine for her to ride facing forward. She’s not near an airbag, and our vehicle has the LATCH system, which is recommended by everybody.
Every time we buckle her in, I check the LATCH belts and she is always secured at three points (two bottom, one tether on the top). The straps are taut. She’s buckled in as recommended and her safety is important to us. Most of the time, anyway. When we’re not doing stuff like this:
(sometimes I sign autographs “Joe”)
We had a pretty crazy scene here yesterday. I was driving out west of town with Leta facing forward in her carseat and the cops got involved:
I think they saw Leta facing forward in her carseat because they were driving like crazy:
But when the dust settled the cops just said that I looked kind of like the guy on the left:
Who, as luck would have it, has a sweet bobble head doll of his likeness on sale now.
Moral of the story: Car jumps with flames are sweet. o
Seriously, if you’re doing that with the car she’d be better off facing the rear. Whiplash and all you know. You’re terrible terrible parents for getting involved in car chases with a child facing the wrong way. I mean OMG WTF!!!111
In case anyone’s blood starts boiling:
dood jon fuck them. fuck them in the ear.
but then – you KNEW this.
if there’s one thing that Jude has taught me straight up, is that the world is fulla critics. armchair parents. and while i am far from a religious man, i am sure of one thing: there is not one mortal soul amongst us that has their shit together well enough to critique another.
its all relative. you and H are doing fine. you’re just a tad, um… exposed, i suppose, given how much you share, how much you both GIVE.
and thats where my hats off to you two. not only are you two just exiting your first of many years in your recent roles as parents, but you’ve chosen to do so in such a way that has included us. The royal ‘US’. Any commenters hitherto’ll agree.
thank you. thank you both for allowing my clan alexander the privledge of reading both yours and heathers posts and being reminded that this… right now… this is a wonderful time to be alive.
ok. cork the fuggin wine, sean. now.
happy (upcoming) birthday Leta. tell your old man not to delete this post. it didnt suck *too* much.
You guys are very generous to even consider responding to the sort of idiots who would bitch at you about how your daughter sits in a car seat. I mean, seriously. They’re just some random dorks off the internet, and what the hell do they know? If they gave you stock advice, would you take it? Probably not. So why even consider taking their advice about your CHILD?
Also: more pics of car jumps with flames, please. Those ARE excellent.
You’re not doing it properly if the back seat’s facing forwards. You need to have it facing backw… wait… you’re not in the back seat?
Honestly, how can you even begin to call yourself a professional stunt driver?
(of course, the real test would be to let Leta do the driving)
You’re gonna crash the General Lee at this rate!
But seriously – wtf? I don’t get people. I’m continually amazed at their balls and stupidity.
You should always let the kids drive, eveyone knows that.
She’s almost a year old, she should be driving to the shops and buying you beer by now …
Best. Moral. Evar.
The General Lee is a definite step up from the XTerra or the Civic. No more explaining why you are driving a car registered in someone elses name with expired tags, hell, they won’t even get a change to see your tags now.
Do you actually listen to the internet? I mean, seriously, you are lucky she *sits* in the car seat. My son used to wiggle out no matter how tight I buckled him in. At 9 months, he’d have his arms out and I just knew I was going to drive by a cop at that time. Both you and Heather are extremely good parents. Believe me, Leta will appreciate your humor and fun-loving natures when she gets older. In the meantime, ignore all of us (well, except me).
Heh! Long-time Dooce reader here who’s ventured to Blurbomat a few times. When I saw the pic of Leta in her car seat, I chuckled. I, too, was impressed that you can get someone that squirming and all “Gimme!” into a car seat period! Then I thought, dude, I don’t know about Utah, but in Indiana, she’ll have to be in some sort of car/booster seat until she’s SEVEN YEARS OLD. Period! We apparently don’t go by hieght or weight, it’s by age.
Can you imagine trying to buckle her into any type of seat when she’s SEVEN! Heh!!!!
You two spend FAR too much time being overly defensive about your kid to random internet wackos. If you choose to post so much about your lives to the internet, you have to know you’re going to get critics. I’m surprised you don’t have more – not bc I think you deserve it but bc that’s just how people are. My advice: GET OVER IT. The time you spend whining about it is ridiculous. How do you go through life being this sensitive?!
I work for a pretty big manufacturer of carseats. My job is to be on the phone and take calls from consumers with our carseats. One of the top questions I get is whether or not it is ok to forward face a child that is under one year. Technically, we recommend a child to face the rear of the vehicle until the child is one year old. This is because the child’s neck muscles are not fully developed until they are a year old. In the event of a crash the impact can cause too much strain on the child’s neck. But as I tell my consumers, if your pediatrician says it’s ok to forward face your child before the year is up, it’s ultimately your decision. All children develop at a different rate and only you, and your pediatrician, can judge the progress of your own child.
Also, here in the state of Indiana, currently the law is 4 years old and 40 pounds. After June 1, it will be 8 years old and 80 pounds.
http://www.in.gov/legislative/bills/2003/PDF/FISCAL/HB1434.005.pdf
Looks like them Armstrong boys are at it again.
Boss Hogg ain’t gonna like Leta facing forward.
The car seat is fine, but where is her flame-retardant jump suit?
WTF is wrong with people? Love the response, although I have to admit I was always a little weak in the knees over the one on the right.
..But car jumps with flames AND BABIES are sweeter…
hmmm…. my son is forward facing in the EXACT SAME carseat.
You two are so much better at responding to idiots than I am… I’m not worthy.
What model carseat does Leta use? My twins are starting to outgrow their infant seats and it’s time to switch to a convertible one. I’m pretty sure you’ve probably done more research on them than any parent in the country so maybe I can just copy you.
All I have to say is that Leta is so lucky to have parents that will let her come along for rides like that. When I was a kid, I didn’t get to do anything involving car chases. I feel deprived. Yet another childhood disappointment to discuss with my therapist…
Just saying ‘chill’ won’t work i’m afraid. Remember when Bo and Luke got into fisticuffs? Daisy was crying? Uncle Jesse had to let off a couple of blasts with his shotgun in order to make it stop, make it stop.
You’re going to have to start shooting people, my friend. Thems the rules in Hazzard County.
While I have time to lurk and sometimes even de-lurk, I don’t have time to criticize how someone straps their kind into the car seat.
My life may be fairly mundane, but christ, if that’s a top priority for your day, those are some sorry ass people.
you just proved once again why you rule. i LOVED the dukes of hazzard. we even played them on the 1/2 hr bus ride to school. my cousin & i made her sister be daisy & she hated it because daisy didn’t get to drive the general. *grin*
you’re much nicer about telling people to lay off than i am. i would’ve already told greenoceanbear to suck it.
i remember the days when all three of us kids would sleep in sleeping bags in the back of the station wagon on family road trips. seat belts? we don’t need no stinking seat belts!
i mean, crap, i made it through years of rolling around, untethered in the back of that behemoth and i’m still here to type. people tend to forget recent history and that car seats are a recent invention. most of those being critical probably never rode in one either, so tell ‘em to stuff it in their ear.
Rear-facing carseats weren’t even invented until the mid-80s, so it’s, like, a Miracle so many of us survived all those bootlegging runs we made with our moonshiner parents. I remember one time my dad took me and my baby sister with him on a delivery–hoo boy that was a wild night! Uncle Jessy called us on the CB radio and told us to watch out because Roscoe was setting a trap for us up ahead. We took a detour on Old Henhouse Rd and ended up having to jump Slappy’s Gorge, because the bridge was out. Enos had gotten wind of our detour and was chasing us, but for some reason his car couldn’t make the jump and he ended up in the river. If my sister had been in a rear facing car seat, not only would her neck have been better protected, but the poor little thing also wouldn’t have had to twist around in her car seat to give old Enos the finger as we drove away, laughing and whooping, toward our rendezvous with the buyers.
Jon, I hope you keep on fightin the sytem like a true modern day Robin Hood.