I Quit
September 23rd, 2005In the tradition of the Armstrong family, I’ve up and gone done it the hard way, once again. I submitted my resignation yesterday and walked out the door of my day job. I did it before I got to the point where it turned really ugly and one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people cunts. I’ve never felt a more urgent need to leave anything or get away than I have this job.
While Heather and I had discussed me leaving the job after we had amassed some savings to cover us in case of emergency, I ultimately had to escape. I was getting to an unfamiliar, hazy place where I didn’t know which way was up. I told Heather I would try to suck it up until we had some breathing room, much like I had for the past year. I was going to quit last August, right as Heather reached her breaking point with post partum depression and I wanted to be home for her. I decided to stay after her meds started working and the work environment changed ever so slightly for the better. But in the end, you can’t change people who don’t want to change or see the need or value of changing. And who wants to die trying?
I liked most of the people I worked with, and enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was client-side boring stuff and the majority of the job tended to the production side of things. I did do an intranet design that I thought was good and was supposed to launch soon, but for the life of me, I was headed into a very dark place. VERY DARK. So I decided to cut and run before one of the best projects I worked on while at the company came to completion.
Think of the worst kind of corporate culture and that was where I was employed. Political, ruthless, uninspiring and despite all of that, still managed to produce a great set of products. I’ve told HR and anybody who would listen that good people would continue to leave until the culture issues were addressed and resolved. It didn’t help that most of my skills were underused by managers who didn’t know what to do with me except berate me behind my back and speak with utter disrespect about their colleagues and with utter disrespect to nearly everyone they spoke to. Add to that being threatened by the brilliance of others (not just mine [insert emotional icon smile here]) and you have a recipe for a clusterfuck that any MBA school would study as an example of how not to run a company or a department.
One example of the hell, which I’ll share because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life: During a very intense period both at home and at work when Leta was a couple of months old, I stayed up very late and worked at home on a project. Since our brand was very much in flux, I had seen some of the early agency work and decided to be inspired by their work branch out a bit. I stress “a bit,” as this was corporate work for a very conservative company. The next morning I brought in my work files, printed them up and brought them to my boss. She looked at them, asked, “where did you get this from?” paused about .8 seconds to flip through the sheets and say “we’re having the agency work on this project” then throw the printed sheets to the floor, turn away from me and start talking to someone else. I’ve had all kinds of client interactions over the years, but never anything like I experienced that day and on the many days to follow.
Sure, every job has things about it that suck. But this one was starting to affect my health physically and mentally. So. Time to go. Sure, not having a steady paycheck is stressful. But that’s my stress. I can control it and manage it.
I can’t tell you what all of the positive email has done for me. I can’t begin to thank you all enough. Heather has received hundreds of messages of encouragement and she’s shared a bunch of them with me. Thank you all so very much. It’s Heather and her brilliance that’s enabled me to wake up for the first time in a month without a migraine. She’s fought ads (I’ve been suggesting them for about 2 years) on her site, and I can’t thank her enough for being willing to make a go of it.
There will be much to do in the coming weeks, but we have some great things in store and I can’t wait to get going on all the fun stuff.
September 23rd, 2005 at 12:57 pm
Go, dog! Go!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:02 pm
Good luck!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:06 pm
Best of luck to you, Heather, and little Leta. And kudos to you for following your heart.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:07 pm
Been there, done that. Congrats on doing the right thing. There’s nothing worse than feeling powerless. It may not be visible to you yet, but it WILL work out, and you’ll look back on this day (or yesterday) at some point in the future with pride. Trust me on this.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:07 pm
I’m wishing you luck. Big changes are difficult to make. You’re gonna do great, though.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:08 pm
Good luck with the future. Been there, done that. Life’s too short to waste on people like that.
Freelance, get a couple clients. Recharge for a bit. Write a book on Moveable Type.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Congratulations on getting out of the hell hole!
I’m currently in one as well. I feel my departure date nearing as my health is beginning to suffer as well.
Enjoy your new life!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:19 pm
Good wishes coming your way!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:20 pm
I’ll raise a glass to you tonight, best of luck!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:29 pm
Congratulations on getting out of a bad work situation. It took me nine years!
Your site as well as your wife’s are an inspiration to a lot of people, but it seems to me ya’ll have only scratched the surface.
I for one am looking forward to sitting back and watch from these internet sidelines as you cultivate a new garden.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:36 pm
Sounds like me and Caldera all over again… I’d like to say you and I have had unique experiences but every person who is close to me in this state has the exact same story to tell. Seriously, I like Utah, but this truly is a different planet. Jobs suck everywhere, but I think there’s a special brand of suckage that plagues companies in this state. The fact that most folks share the same resume doesn’t help (Novell/WordPerfect/Sanyo Icon/Ameritech/etc.). It’s like the same bad, tarnished penny moves from company to company and it never gets better because folks from outside Utah tend to not want to move here and thin out the gene pool. It’s not a church thing, but it’s definitely a Utah thing.
Onward.
Like you, my health went down the crapper as the end of my tenure in software engineering came to a close. I don’t know that I can blame work stress on my current gaggle of health problems but I know it didn’t help. Leaving was tremendously helpful. (Of course, jumping from software engineering to studying graphic design at the UofU is like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Talk about endless, thankless bullshit…)
It takes guts to say “I’m not taking this anymore” and leave. Hopefully things will work out positively.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:41 pm
yay - your increasing stress level has been showing; i’m glad you were able to break away from that job.
I had to do the same thing about this time last year, and it felt so great to be away from that place; congrats again!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:41 pm
I always think it’s a very brave thing to do, striking out like this. You’re taking care of yourself and in doing that, taking care of your lovely family! You go on wit cho bad self, dj!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Very well said. We all miss you, but support your freedom (and envy it a bit). Lunch next week.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:45 pm
Jon,
I still think you’re a bastard for leaving us in a pinch!
J/K =)
Serious though, good luck to you and your family. As said by others who feel at their wits end, ‘now there is no place to go but up’.
PS. Am I the first?
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Dammit!! Not the first.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:47 pm
Serious, last comment, does this mean you’re going to have a new ‘Whore’ this month!!!
Please!!!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:47 pm
Yay from a lurker!!!
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Craaaazy. Best of luck. I sounds like what got me to quit my last job. I have to agree with you. Looking for a new job after I quit my last was ten times less stressful than working for assholes. Life is way to short to waste time on people like that.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Congratulations and good luck! I hope the future holds much less of that kind of stress for you.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:04 pm
Good Luck John…. to you and your family. I wish you the very best and appreciate all that you have done.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:08 pm
You go boy! I just quit the same type of cluster - but I put in my two weeks and have regrets - the days suck - 40 more hours and I am THROUGH. The stress of job hunting is way less than the stress of watching people get beat up and abused (I was the supposed HR person and the one who could protect them - not). I have to keep from getting bitter and bitchy. So we set a timer here at the house and I rant for 10 minutes and then I have to let it go.
Can’t wait to see what opens up for you - rock on.
Pete
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:09 pm
Tonight we will raise a toast to the blurbodooce empire and will dream of following in your footsteps. I’m sure it won’t always be easy, but I’m equally sure it will be well worth it!
Godspeed on this new journey.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:10 pm
Holy crap! I come in to find out that we’re down one of the best people around here. You’re going to be missed! Good luck and congrats! Let us know what happens.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:12 pm
Jon - Just a quick note to let you know your job environment is endemic in the SD industry. The situation you describe is standard op - even in this remote corner of northern Michigan. You did the right thing. You may even want to consider sending them a thank-you note for all of the valuable training you received in ‘how not to run a business’ while being paid. You will do better than survive - you’ll thrive!!