I Quit
September 23rd, 2005In the tradition of the Armstrong family, I’ve up and gone done it the hard way, once again. I submitted my resignation yesterday and walked out the door of my day job. I did it before I got to the point where it turned really ugly and one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people cunts. I’ve never felt a more urgent need to leave anything or get away than I have this job.
While Heather and I had discussed me leaving the job after we had amassed some savings to cover us in case of emergency, I ultimately had to escape. I was getting to an unfamiliar, hazy place where I didn’t know which way was up. I told Heather I would try to suck it up until we had some breathing room, much like I had for the past year. I was going to quit last August, right as Heather reached her breaking point with post partum depression and I wanted to be home for her. I decided to stay after her meds started working and the work environment changed ever so slightly for the better. But in the end, you can’t change people who don’t want to change or see the need or value of changing. And who wants to die trying?
I liked most of the people I worked with, and enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was client-side boring stuff and the majority of the job tended to the production side of things. I did do an intranet design that I thought was good and was supposed to launch soon, but for the life of me, I was headed into a very dark place. VERY DARK. So I decided to cut and run before one of the best projects I worked on while at the company came to completion.
Think of the worst kind of corporate culture and that was where I was employed. Political, ruthless, uninspiring and despite all of that, still managed to produce a great set of products. I’ve told HR and anybody who would listen that good people would continue to leave until the culture issues were addressed and resolved. It didn’t help that most of my skills were underused by managers who didn’t know what to do with me except berate me behind my back and speak with utter disrespect about their colleagues and with utter disrespect to nearly everyone they spoke to. Add to that being threatened by the brilliance of others (not just mine [insert emotional icon smile here]) and you have a recipe for a clusterfuck that any MBA school would study as an example of how not to run a company or a department.
One example of the hell, which I’ll share because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life: During a very intense period both at home and at work when Leta was a couple of months old, I stayed up very late and worked at home on a project. Since our brand was very much in flux, I had seen some of the early agency work and decided to be inspired by their work branch out a bit. I stress “a bit,” as this was corporate work for a very conservative company. The next morning I brought in my work files, printed them up and brought them to my boss. She looked at them, asked, “where did you get this from?” paused about .8 seconds to flip through the sheets and say “we’re having the agency work on this project” then throw the printed sheets to the floor, turn away from me and start talking to someone else. I’ve had all kinds of client interactions over the years, but never anything like I experienced that day and on the many days to follow.
Sure, every job has things about it that suck. But this one was starting to affect my health physically and mentally. So. Time to go. Sure, not having a steady paycheck is stressful. But that’s my stress. I can control it and manage it.
I can’t tell you what all of the positive email has done for me. I can’t begin to thank you all enough. Heather has received hundreds of messages of encouragement and she’s shared a bunch of them with me. Thank you all so very much. It’s Heather and her brilliance that’s enabled me to wake up for the first time in a month without a migraine. She’s fought ads (I’ve been suggesting them for about 2 years) on her site, and I can’t thank her enough for being willing to make a go of it.
There will be much to do in the coming weeks, but we have some great things in store and I can’t wait to get going on all the fun stuff.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:12 pm
i’m very sorry to see you leave. you’re too creative, smart, and talented. enjoy the breath of fresh air. i wish you the very best my friend.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:16 pm
Thankfully you got out before you had to either burn the place down or put strychnine in the guacamole… Seriously though, congrats for standing up for yourself and giving corporate america the proverbial Finger. Inspiring!
I am sure you will have no problem finding another job that you actually enjoy!
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:22 pm
ugh..sounds like a very very bad work environment and the courage to leave w/o a job already waiting was probably very hard. However your mental health is more important then any of those things.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:34 pm
Jon-Thanks for all the good times and all the “c” words you would yelled out during lunch. (Insert Laugh)I wish you luck in your new pursuit on life. You are a brillant designer with talent that was being clasped too tightly.
September 23rd, 2005 at 2:57 pm
Oh, one more thing: don’t burn any bridges! Especially in Utah where every town is just down the street and everyone has worked or will work with everyone else at some point. You think you won’t ever deal with these people again, but you may be surprised…
You probably know that already but I figured I’d throw it in anyway. It killed me not to send nastygrams to the bitchy, prima donna developers and inept managers that I worked with when I left the software industry, but somehow I did. I figure if I move out of Utah I’ll be able to say what I want. (I doubt any of them read this blog. If they do, well…)
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:00 pm
Congratulations on putting your health first. It’s so true, you can manage your own stress on your own terms. Good for you and your family. It’s gonna work out just fine.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:00 pm
I’ve been in one of those working situations before … I called it the job that “sucked all my joy”. Even the good things about the job were tainted by all the joy-sucking they did … Good for you for getting out while you can still laugh and talk about it. I read Heather’s entry about giving you the time to find out what you love doing … I hope you find something that GIVES you joy
Down with the joy-suckers!!!!
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:06 pm
Good for you. It sucks that things have to get that bad for you to finally make the leap to find out what you love… They are definitely the ones losing out! Everything seems to happen for a reason, and only good things await! Best wishes to you, Heather and Leta!
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:07 pm
Po Armstrong, congratulations! You are a hero to many.
But I do need to set the record straight on your first paragraph; I am pretty sure the quitting took place after “one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people c@#$%.”
Lunch at the Rio brother, that’s all I’m sayin… well, except that it was highly entertaining and I laughed so hard I cried.
Seriously wish you the best. Please keep in touch.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:09 pm
best of luck to you both, and let us know if there is any way we can help.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:12 pm
even though the scary woman with the shopping bags scared me too, i’ll deal with the ads- no prob! good luck!
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:13 pm
Congratulations Jon. I can’t tell you how much I respect you for doing what’s best for you and your family and not following the safe path of staying somewhere that makes you miserable.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:21 pm
My last boss is currently being sued for sexual harassment and discrimination (not by me). All I can do is shake my head at the remarkable amount of assholes in the world.
Good for you. I’m sure this will open the door for something really great and inspiring.
And, holy crap, there’s someone else from a remote corner of northern Michigan here?
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:21 pm
DC: Yeah, but I was acting Kramerish and not directing it as one would in real life. More of a practice, really. I was trying to hint at what was to happen following lunch.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:28 pm
Well done John. I admire your chutzpah. Good luck!
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:43 pm
So why hasn’t Heather gotten her life story optioned by Hollywood yet??? That’s where the big bucks are.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:43 pm
We all give up a little of our souls when we take a day job. No one should be required to foreit theirs as a condition of employment. Your former employer is diminished by your need to leave.
Peace to you.
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:58 pm
Follow your bliss, man. Reading both your and Heather’s writing has been a delight for almost a year now; I’m glad you’re making yourself happier.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:05 pm
Jon-I have faith you will do well and get what you want. I quit my horrible job 11 years ago and have NEVER ONCE looked back or regretted it. Being on my own has been hard but worth EVERY moment of the stress. Be prepared–if you set up your own biz you will work harder than you EVER did for a corporation–and love it 100 times more.
I am glad Heather posted why the ads are up there…It is just a minor irratation and one easily ignored.
I downloaded 3Hive last night. Too cool. Thanks for putting it together.
Te, a reader of you both
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:09 pm
Three cheers for choosing happiness.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:12 pm
Brave.
Inspiring.
Congratulations!
I don’t mind the ads either…whatever it takes, you & Heather are so gifted! I love reading both of you guys. Rock on!
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:13 pm
You did the right thing.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:14 pm
WOW…good for you man!
Who am I going to ask now how to fix this or that at home?
You’ll be missed…specially during those moments of home owner distress…
Good luck dude!
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:29 pm
Congratulations, Jon, and best of luck.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:32 pm
Good for you! I did the same thing a few years ago. My stress level was through the roof and I just had to get out of there. You seem like a very talented and smart person, I’m sure you’ll do very well. Good luck!