I Quit
September 23rd, 2005In the tradition of the Armstrong family, I’ve up and gone done it the hard way, once again. I submitted my resignation yesterday and walked out the door of my day job. I did it before I got to the point where it turned really ugly and one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people cunts. I’ve never felt a more urgent need to leave anything or get away than I have this job.
While Heather and I had discussed me leaving the job after we had amassed some savings to cover us in case of emergency, I ultimately had to escape. I was getting to an unfamiliar, hazy place where I didn’t know which way was up. I told Heather I would try to suck it up until we had some breathing room, much like I had for the past year. I was going to quit last August, right as Heather reached her breaking point with post partum depression and I wanted to be home for her. I decided to stay after her meds started working and the work environment changed ever so slightly for the better. But in the end, you can’t change people who don’t want to change or see the need or value of changing. And who wants to die trying?
I liked most of the people I worked with, and enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was client-side boring stuff and the majority of the job tended to the production side of things. I did do an intranet design that I thought was good and was supposed to launch soon, but for the life of me, I was headed into a very dark place. VERY DARK. So I decided to cut and run before one of the best projects I worked on while at the company came to completion.
Think of the worst kind of corporate culture and that was where I was employed. Political, ruthless, uninspiring and despite all of that, still managed to produce a great set of products. I’ve told HR and anybody who would listen that good people would continue to leave until the culture issues were addressed and resolved. It didn’t help that most of my skills were underused by managers who didn’t know what to do with me except berate me behind my back and speak with utter disrespect about their colleagues and with utter disrespect to nearly everyone they spoke to. Add to that being threatened by the brilliance of others (not just mine [insert emotional icon smile here]) and you have a recipe for a clusterfuck that any MBA school would study as an example of how not to run a company or a department.
One example of the hell, which I’ll share because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life: During a very intense period both at home and at work when Leta was a couple of months old, I stayed up very late and worked at home on a project. Since our brand was very much in flux, I had seen some of the early agency work and decided to be inspired by their work branch out a bit. I stress “a bit,” as this was corporate work for a very conservative company. The next morning I brought in my work files, printed them up and brought them to my boss. She looked at them, asked, “where did you get this from?” paused about .8 seconds to flip through the sheets and say “we’re having the agency work on this project” then throw the printed sheets to the floor, turn away from me and start talking to someone else. I’ve had all kinds of client interactions over the years, but never anything like I experienced that day and on the many days to follow.
Sure, every job has things about it that suck. But this one was starting to affect my health physically and mentally. So. Time to go. Sure, not having a steady paycheck is stressful. But that’s my stress. I can control it and manage it.
I can’t tell you what all of the positive email has done for me. I can’t begin to thank you all enough. Heather has received hundreds of messages of encouragement and she’s shared a bunch of them with me. Thank you all so very much. It’s Heather and her brilliance that’s enabled me to wake up for the first time in a month without a migraine. She’s fought ads (I’ve been suggesting them for about 2 years) on her site, and I can’t thank her enough for being willing to make a go of it.
There will be much to do in the coming weeks, but we have some great things in store and I can’t wait to get going on all the fun stuff.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:36 pm
hey jon, good for you. here’s to better! and bigger!
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:37 pm
hey jon, good for you. here’s to better! and bigger!
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:40 pm
Rock on, man! Don’t worry about the money. Simplifying your life shows you that you didn’t need too much anyway. Tell Heather that there is no shame in advertisements. It’s how America works. They didn’t bother me a bit when they showed up on her RSS feed.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:54 pm
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
Seriously though,
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
No really,
I call dibs on the 23″ display!
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:55 pm
Pat, you make me smile with glee.
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:58 pm
Sorry, Pat. We’ve already pawned it (no disrespect, of course Jon)
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:58 pm
Now c’mon everybody…I was just kidding.
Jon, when I drove in this morning I was sad that my lunch buddy/tech support best friend wouldn’t be there.
This is the second time you’ve quit on me (after hooking me up with the job). I just have to ask, is it me?
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:05 pm
atomic,
Don’t be frettin none. The first time it was a family/me thing. The second time it was a me/family thing. It is not you.
Good luck fighting over the Cinema Display. I’ll miss her.
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:08 pm
There are no questions in our hearts. And there are never any answers in our heads. You’ve taken the step of unburdening yourself from the barrage of mindfuckwittage.
Now leave it behind and go forward. And the best revenge is e.n.j.o.y.
Best to you all. Love both blogs! xo
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:11 pm
Are you sure we didn’t work together? The last place I worked sounds like their corporate culture was identical to yours…. my hair was falling out, I was taking Excederin Tension Headache medicine every day like a vitamin, and I felt like I was flatlining. And you hit that point like the guy in Office Space, where you say, “People weren’t meant to DO this”, and yet you have responsibilities and all this other stuff making you feel like you should stay. So sweet jesus, man, good for you for getting the hell out before it fried you up like a twinkie in hot oil. Companies like that will suck you dry & toss you aside as callously as a pimp breezing by his oldest workhorse when he spies fresh meat off the bus. I must now stop with the metaphors! So leave it with this: GOOD. FO’. YOU. And for Heather, Leta & Chuck. Everyone’s gonna be a whole lot happier: that’s the cool part - joy’s contagious.
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:19 pm
Phew!
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Cheers! Doesn’t it feel like you’ve been let out of prison?
All the best to all three of you. If wit and spunk can make life perfect, then you guys have it made.
September 23rd, 2005 at 5:51 pm
Fabulous, Jon. You deserve this. Take some deep breaths, and take life in. For once, you are not stuck behind an office chair. Spend even more time with Heather and Leta, and simply never let that feeling go.
Good things come to those who wait. You may be stressed about where your career path will lead, but just take your time. It is worth your time and, ultimately, your patience. Something better than expected will come along for someone like you. I just know it.
Cheers to all four of you, including Chuck. I’m excited to read about what excitement, happiness, and, above all, rest within the next few weeks. Again, you deserve this, and never believe otherwise. You’ve got the entire support of Internet geeks like myself. What’s more to need?
September 23rd, 2005 at 6:53 pm
Congrats. The high is surely great right now. In about a week, you’ll feel very scared and paranoid. THAT WILL PASS, I can assure you. I had a similar situation to yours and I left too. It is the best thing I could have done. But, it was scary the first few weeks. Since then, however, all is fine. I even (finally) started a blog (http://jamoker.blogspot.com/ shameless plug, sorry) I felt so good about the situation. I got my old chipper irreverent self back. You will too. I have been tempted to talk about the previous situation on the blog. Thanks to the advice of your wife (about getting dooced), I have refrained. Good Luck.
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:04 pm
Good luck and congratulations on your escape! I’ll echo what everyone else has said and say you were right to leave when craptacular starts to get you down mentally and physically. I hope you find everything you’re looking for (and I bet you do!).
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:16 pm
Congratulations! I was in a similar situation where another developer on my team plus a QA engineer literally had nervous breakdowns. My husband talked me into leaving and it was the best career move I’ve ever made. ANYTHING is better than working in a soul-sucking situation like that. Good luck with whatever you do next.
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:20 pm
Though everyone else has already said it, I’ll say it also… good luck!!! I, too, have been in a job where - while I loved the job - the beauracracy/ culture of allowing co-workers to treat each other miserably made each moment at work unbearable. If one cannot wait to leave each day and hates to return the next, then the job is not worth it.
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:24 pm
Best of luck to you in the transition — I know what it can be like to work in hell.
So, good luck! Better things lie ahead!
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:30 pm
Good Luck! I know exactly where you are coming from being employed in a corp craphole. I know you guys will be fine and go very far in any endeavor u choose to pursue!
Much thought and good will heading ur way.- cam
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:51 pm
Glad you went for it. As for the ads… bring them on. It’s your website, do what you want with it. I wish you the very very best of luck with your future.
September 23rd, 2005 at 9:12 pm
Good for you. Nobody should have to be in a dark place. Life is too short. Good luck.
September 23rd, 2005 at 10:36 pm
I just wanted to say that the pic on Heather’s site of you with your arm around the dog on the couch is PRICELESS. You both have the same look on your faces…..
September 23rd, 2005 at 10:49 pm
hope you get a good job opening real soon! tell heather she can put any amount of ads anywhere she wants to!
September 23rd, 2005 at 11:59 pm
…and after being out of the rat race for five years raising a relative’s children, I am diving back in. But this time this rat is in a small town and this race is one in which the rat plays the tortoise to someone else’s hare.
Good luck to both you and Heather. Guess I gotta go click on some ads now…and with a new paycheck, maybe even buy something.
September 24th, 2005 at 12:08 am
GOOD FOR YOU! Scared and healthy is a better choice than demeaned and confused. My favorite quitting line I ever heard was “I WAS LOOKING FOR A JOB WHEN I GOT THIS ONE.” Interpret as you will.