I Quit
September 23rd, 2005In the tradition of the Armstrong family, I’ve up and gone done it the hard way, once again. I submitted my resignation yesterday and walked out the door of my day job. I did it before I got to the point where it turned really ugly and one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people cunts. I’ve never felt a more urgent need to leave anything or get away than I have this job.
While Heather and I had discussed me leaving the job after we had amassed some savings to cover us in case of emergency, I ultimately had to escape. I was getting to an unfamiliar, hazy place where I didn’t know which way was up. I told Heather I would try to suck it up until we had some breathing room, much like I had for the past year. I was going to quit last August, right as Heather reached her breaking point with post partum depression and I wanted to be home for her. I decided to stay after her meds started working and the work environment changed ever so slightly for the better. But in the end, you can’t change people who don’t want to change or see the need or value of changing. And who wants to die trying?
I liked most of the people I worked with, and enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was client-side boring stuff and the majority of the job tended to the production side of things. I did do an intranet design that I thought was good and was supposed to launch soon, but for the life of me, I was headed into a very dark place. VERY DARK. So I decided to cut and run before one of the best projects I worked on while at the company came to completion.
Think of the worst kind of corporate culture and that was where I was employed. Political, ruthless, uninspiring and despite all of that, still managed to produce a great set of products. I’ve told HR and anybody who would listen that good people would continue to leave until the culture issues were addressed and resolved. It didn’t help that most of my skills were underused by managers who didn’t know what to do with me except berate me behind my back and speak with utter disrespect about their colleagues and with utter disrespect to nearly everyone they spoke to. Add to that being threatened by the brilliance of others (not just mine [insert emotional icon smile here]) and you have a recipe for a clusterfuck that any MBA school would study as an example of how not to run a company or a department.
One example of the hell, which I’ll share because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life: During a very intense period both at home and at work when Leta was a couple of months old, I stayed up very late and worked at home on a project. Since our brand was very much in flux, I had seen some of the early agency work and decided to be inspired by their work branch out a bit. I stress “a bit,” as this was corporate work for a very conservative company. The next morning I brought in my work files, printed them up and brought them to my boss. She looked at them, asked, “where did you get this from?” paused about .8 seconds to flip through the sheets and say “we’re having the agency work on this project” then throw the printed sheets to the floor, turn away from me and start talking to someone else. I’ve had all kinds of client interactions over the years, but never anything like I experienced that day and on the many days to follow.
Sure, every job has things about it that suck. But this one was starting to affect my health physically and mentally. So. Time to go. Sure, not having a steady paycheck is stressful. But that’s my stress. I can control it and manage it.
I can’t tell you what all of the positive email has done for me. I can’t begin to thank you all enough. Heather has received hundreds of messages of encouragement and she’s shared a bunch of them with me. Thank you all so very much. It’s Heather and her brilliance that’s enabled me to wake up for the first time in a month without a migraine. She’s fought ads (I’ve been suggesting them for about 2 years) on her site, and I can’t thank her enough for being willing to make a go of it.
There will be much to do in the coming weeks, but we have some great things in store and I can’t wait to get going on all the fun stuff.
September 24th, 2005 at 10:05 pm
Good decision! It will all work out…I’m sure of that. Bring on the ads! Already used Heather’s link to drugstore.com to order and will continue to do so. Good things will come. You and Heather are so great together and so supportive of each other. Everything’s going to be fine! Onward.
September 24th, 2005 at 10:26 pm
Been there!!!! Good for you for having the balls to walk. It’s hard and it’s stressful but it will be worth it in the long run.
Good luck!!!
September 24th, 2005 at 10:53 pm
Kudos. I did it too. Too much politics got in the way of finishing my graduate degree… 1 class and some data short I quit after they dropped my scholarship after having a baby. So much for laws…
We have our pride!
September 25th, 2005 at 6:20 am
Best of luck to you and Heather and Leta!
Almost 10 years ago, my husband was stuck in a career he hated. I told him that 30 was way too young to wake up dreading the day ahead. He quit his job and went back to school, while I went and got a temporary, higher-paying gig. He now has a career he loves, and we are ALL happier.
You and Heather make a great team. Congratulations!
September 25th, 2005 at 8:08 am
Best of luck to you Jon…..you’re a smart cookie, you’ll be just fine! You go girl………er…..never mind! LOL!
Hugs to all,
Karen
September 25th, 2005 at 8:12 am
GO FOR IT! good luck–it takes a lot of courage to do what you’ve done. it may not be easy for a while, but the greatest things ever come from situations like this. and it’s even better when you have an awesome person like heather in your corner.
September 25th, 2005 at 8:47 am
I work in a job I can’t stand…it’s soul-sucking, incredibly stressful but somehow still boring, not at all challenging and I feel completely unappreciated. I am sick to death of it.
But I know what I want to do in the next phase of my life, and I’m working on it. But sometimes it seems hard and I’m so full of doubt about whether I can actually pull it off.
Thanks for giving me some much-needed inspiration, and good luck to you. Here’s to loving and looking forward to what you do!
September 25th, 2005 at 8:50 am
After crying at my desk for three consecutive days and realizing “no admin job is worth this” I quit without anything else to GO to. Luckily, I had an amazing overseas trip to look forward to (already paid for) and so I went and had the best time of my life. The 8 unemployed months that followed were really hard but so worth it and so much better than sitting at my desk at a horrible job in tears.
Anyway, I am sure there will be good and bad parts of your decision but I wish you guys the very best. I think you made a wise move for your life. No job is worth that. Really.
September 25th, 2005 at 8:51 am
Atta-Boy! The hardest part is getting to the point of making the decision to quit. Now they can hire you back as a consultant at 5x what they were paying you before! Many of us have been in your shoes. You will not regret this decision. The opportunities are endless out there.
September 25th, 2005 at 9:12 am
Glad you did it! I hope the freelance starts rolling in!
September 25th, 2005 at 9:29 am
Financial security is one of the hardest things to give up, especially with a family to take care of. But you wouldn’t be a lick of good to them if you suffered a complete break down. As stressful as being unemployed might be, it will also be a wonderful opportunity for you to spend more time with your daughter, who I am sure is growing at an exponential rate! And no doubt you will be back on employed feet in no time. Good luck!
September 25th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
Congratulations!
Walking out the door is the hardest part, because even if it becomes a struggle, that huge weight is off your your shoulders.
Good luck to you.
September 25th, 2005 at 1:37 pm
Jon,
I don’t know you at all but would like to put forward idyllic view that emotional security is way better than financial. You’ll pull through and be fine, you seem to have your head screwed on and you’ve weighed it up carefully. Also, enjoy the weight off your mind, enjoy your family…
Love,
Gilly (billygean.co.uk)
September 25th, 2005 at 2:20 pm
Jon,
I’ve always believed if you do what you are meant to be doing then you will be taken care of.
I am so thrilled for you, Heather and Leta. It seems good things are about to follow.
Jenn
September 25th, 2005 at 2:40 pm
It will all work out, and you’ll look back and wonder why you didn’t do it sooner! I wish you all the very best. And hey, if it doesn’t work out you can always move in with Heather’s cousin George cos he tells me he’s the world’s best cook!!
September 25th, 2005 at 3:21 pm
Oh, the dreams I have about doing the same.
Congrats, Jon.
September 25th, 2005 at 5:59 pm
I’ve done this before, and I hope I never have to do it again. I wish more people would stand up for themselves in this way. Congratulations, good luck, and I’m excited about your future projects!
-a long-time reader yet lurker.
September 25th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Good luck from a considering-whether -to-quit-grad-school reader.
September 25th, 2005 at 8:32 pm
i definitely feel your pain. my job is slowly sucking the life out of my body. just before this i emailed off a resume. you have inspired me to email off a few more. you are braver than me, though - i still feel like i need that job security. good luck!
September 25th, 2005 at 9:40 pm
I admire, respect, and envy, a little, the both of you. You are on your way to carving out something very special and unique, I think. Best of the best for your whole little family, is what I wish.
September 25th, 2005 at 10:18 pm
I think you did the right thing. There’s nothing worse than getting up in the morning dreading going in to work and when you get there hating EVERY minute of it. Not only does it give you high blood pressure and make your volcabulary colorful, it makes you have the tendency to take crap out on people who aren’t your intended target. I wish you and Heather all the luck in the world.
September 25th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
Congratulations! It takes bravery & wisdom to identify the point at which it’s time to go and to go gracefully.
I’m hanging on in my job for my partner to finish his degree and go back to work and there are days when it feels like the hardest thing in the world.
Fortunately, the corporate culture here in Australia in not (generally) as brutal as in the U.S. so I don’t have it as tough as you did. It’s going to get brutal, though, when our government gets its IR reforms in and I plan to be self-employed (or self-employable) in the next few years so that I’m not dependant upon it for my living.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:17 am
John– sending love from St. Louis. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. FUCK CORPORATE AMERICA!!!!!
September 26th, 2005 at 5:03 am
Jon,
Congratulations on your great escape! I believe that wonderful things are in store for you, Heather, and Leta.
With love,
Maria
September 26th, 2005 at 5:54 am
Life’s too short for that crap. Go.