I Quit
September 23rd, 2005In the tradition of the Armstrong family, I’ve up and gone done it the hard way, once again. I submitted my resignation yesterday and walked out the door of my day job. I did it before I got to the point where it turned really ugly and one starts dropping f-bombs with clenched fists, both arms skyward and calling people cunts. I’ve never felt a more urgent need to leave anything or get away than I have this job.
While Heather and I had discussed me leaving the job after we had amassed some savings to cover us in case of emergency, I ultimately had to escape. I was getting to an unfamiliar, hazy place where I didn’t know which way was up. I told Heather I would try to suck it up until we had some breathing room, much like I had for the past year. I was going to quit last August, right as Heather reached her breaking point with post partum depression and I wanted to be home for her. I decided to stay after her meds started working and the work environment changed ever so slightly for the better. But in the end, you can’t change people who don’t want to change or see the need or value of changing. And who wants to die trying?
I liked most of the people I worked with, and enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was client-side boring stuff and the majority of the job tended to the production side of things. I did do an intranet design that I thought was good and was supposed to launch soon, but for the life of me, I was headed into a very dark place. VERY DARK. So I decided to cut and run before one of the best projects I worked on while at the company came to completion.
Think of the worst kind of corporate culture and that was where I was employed. Political, ruthless, uninspiring and despite all of that, still managed to produce a great set of products. I’ve told HR and anybody who would listen that good people would continue to leave until the culture issues were addressed and resolved. It didn’t help that most of my skills were underused by managers who didn’t know what to do with me except berate me behind my back and speak with utter disrespect about their colleagues and with utter disrespect to nearly everyone they spoke to. Add to that being threatened by the brilliance of others (not just mine [insert emotional icon smile here]) and you have a recipe for a clusterfuck that any MBA school would study as an example of how not to run a company or a department.
One example of the hell, which I’ll share because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life: During a very intense period both at home and at work when Leta was a couple of months old, I stayed up very late and worked at home on a project. Since our brand was very much in flux, I had seen some of the early agency work and decided to be inspired by their work branch out a bit. I stress “a bit,” as this was corporate work for a very conservative company. The next morning I brought in my work files, printed them up and brought them to my boss. She looked at them, asked, “where did you get this from?” paused about .8 seconds to flip through the sheets and say “we’re having the agency work on this project” then throw the printed sheets to the floor, turn away from me and start talking to someone else. I’ve had all kinds of client interactions over the years, but never anything like I experienced that day and on the many days to follow.
Sure, every job has things about it that suck. But this one was starting to affect my health physically and mentally. So. Time to go. Sure, not having a steady paycheck is stressful. But that’s my stress. I can control it and manage it.
I can’t tell you what all of the positive email has done for me. I can’t begin to thank you all enough. Heather has received hundreds of messages of encouragement and she’s shared a bunch of them with me. Thank you all so very much. It’s Heather and her brilliance that’s enabled me to wake up for the first time in a month without a migraine. She’s fought ads (I’ve been suggesting them for about 2 years) on her site, and I can’t thank her enough for being willing to make a go of it.
There will be much to do in the coming weeks, but we have some great things in store and I can’t wait to get going on all the fun stuff.
September 26th, 2005 at 11:54 am
It takes a lot of courage to make a drastic change like that - good luck and I hope your next experience is both positive and fullfilling. It is hard to work for people whose priorities are out of whack.
September 26th, 2005 at 11:55 am
Congratulations, and the best of luck to you guys. A good friend said to me the other day, “sometimes, when you’ve reached the apex of misery, just a change is enough… it hardly matters in what direction, but when it’s for the better you feel doubly blessed.” Be sure to watch Office Space a few times, and shamelessly drink a Sam Adams in the middle of the day for no reason.
September 26th, 2005 at 11:59 am
Good decision. This one hits home because my job has been making me sick, too. I’ve taken 7 weeks off this summer (6 sick weeks and one for vacation) and I’m very, very grateful my day job has such wicked benefits that I could actually get paid for most of that time, but when it all comes down to it, I still come back here and get sick again, cry again, get depressed again, and hope to God that my doctor ups my meds again soon.
Jon, I haven’t been in your shoes, but I know the suckage of which you reference. I applaud you on both giving it your best and knowing the time to leave for your own and your family’s sake.
Again, good decision. I wish you, heather & Leta the very best. May all your endeavors take off like a rocket.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
I wish I had your courage - congratulations! I will try to be inspired to action, instead of merely jealous. I hope everything works out well for you and your family. I can’t wait to read of all the hilarity that will ensue.
(And the ads on Heather’s site will be well worth it)
September 26th, 2005 at 12:23 pm
Congrats on getting some breathing room! It sounds like you really deserve getting out of there. Best of luck with the new chapter in your lives!
September 26th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
Rock on, honorable one. My wife did the same thing recently with her artistic talents — the stress of the “real world” was eating her soul, and now she is working for herself, doing things for herself, and running her own design company @ http://www.davietdesign.com. Hope you enjoy the same success — and pleasure.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:27 pm
good work, jon. and to heather for supporting you, as you supported her in her time of need.
and little leta for having you both.
you guys are gonna be aaaaaaall right.
_
September 26th, 2005 at 12:29 pm
I’ve read you a few times, but never commented. Sorry, but I usually read your wife’s blog. Congratulations on quitting your job! I just LOVE people that do what is the best for them. I never worry about money. Not where it’s coming from, not whether I have it and not how I should spend it. I have both quit and turned down jobs that just didn’t “fit” for me. My last place of work sounds just like you described yours to be - but on a smaller level. For the last 10 months, I’ve been traveling on the open road with my truck driver boyfriend. After this, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to work a “normal” job again. Good luck to both of you on all your journeys!! It’s going to be great, what you’re doing for yourself and your family and you will ultimately love it. Best to you all!
September 26th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
I am happy for you that you were able to get out and NOT have to take another crappy job just to subsist! I am working on that now.
About a year ago, I left a company at which I worked for a woman who was previously my co-worker and was now a first-time manager. She worked for a prick of a VP who did not care about any personal issues, you get the job done, period. Work was his life, and everything else in his life came second. I lived 60 miles from work, and the commute regularly took 75 to 90 minutes each way because of it’s proximity to a major metropolitan area in the Northeast. This inexperienced woman handed me a written reprimand for a variety of “offenses” within 2 1/2 weeks of becoming my manager, without so much as a WORD to me before that about what she expected of me or what procedures and processes she expected me to follow. I had worked for this same company for 5 years without any prior incident under any other manager. The company was in a hiring and salary freeze so there were no raises or bonuses for a 3 year period. She was a “do as I say, not as I do” type of person but with the added frustration of being able to appear as if she was ALWAYS on top of EVERYTHING, when in fact she took shortcuts on things or left them half completed just to appear that work was being done. She even accused me, to my face, of being deliberately unapproachable (this was after the initial write up when I was afraid to even blink wrong at her for fear of being written up again for no good reason.)
I got out of there, but it took me about 2 years after she became my manager to do so. What a nightmare. I gained weight, went on anti-depressants, developed thyroid problems, went to therapy three different times and even thought very seriously about just getting in my car and driving away from everything and everyone. It was the worst work experience in my life.
Unfortunately, I had to take another corporate job, which was initially like a dream job, then turned into almost the same hell I came from. That lasted for about 5 months and is just now showing real signs of improvement. I am trying to hang in there, but I desperately want to leave to do what I want to do. Hopefully my time will come. In the meantime, I will enjoy hearing about your adventures and live vicariously through them.
Congrats again!!
September 26th, 2005 at 12:37 pm
Just sending good vibes your way. I have walked out on a job before as well, there is only so much a person can take. I was broke for several months and it sucked, but at least I had a soul intact! I admire both you and Heather as well as being a big fan. Best of luck at finding a job that is something you really really love.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
Congratulations Jon! My husband made the decision to take a huge pay cut about 8 years ago, for a job that he would actually like. I fully support the ‘Top Ramen For Sanity’ option! It was difficult to deal with the pay cut, but incredibly worth it to see my husband smile again. He, like you, had gotten to the point of physical and emotional illness due to job stress. It just isn’t worth it. Good for you! My best wishes to you and Heather and Leta.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
This will turn out to be the best thing (career wise) you have ever done. I just know it. Life is too short to spend it in the office of incompetents.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
I would like to add that no one has ever gone from a job they dispised to one they hated more. Best of luck.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:57 pm
I admire your ability to stick it out. I also admire your ability to know when to call it quits.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:01 pm
Congrats to you. You can tell from Heathers site that she is thrilled to have you home. If not for the company and help she can at least pee alone again! Congratulations again.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:04 pm
I could provide a bit of “fill in” work, too, if you ever need it. I know several people who need blog software set up. The person I’ve been referring to is just someone I met on ICQ so I’d gladly replace that referral with someone who’s blog (and his wife’s) entertains me on a regular basis.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:04 pm
I agree with Scully — and while a job is a job and it’s not always fun, at least you knew when to pull the plug in place of your sanity and happiness.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:12 pm
I feel your pain dude. I’m stuck in the same situation! You’re inspiring me to take the plunge and get out while I can still walk upright!
September 26th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
You wouldn’t have been working for a “natural supplement” company owned by a mormon family originally from Louisiana were you?
I swear that sounds like the only employer that has ever fired me. The firing came about after a certain manager found out I was gay.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:22 pm
but weren’t these all inspired Mormon priesthood holders, garment-wearing good Christian people treating you this way? Say it ain’t so! ; )
September 26th, 2005 at 1:25 pm
Good luck to you — my husband did same about five years ago and has NEVER looked back. Which is not to say there haven’t been scary times inbetween, as there has, but definitely worth it!
September 26th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Yay for quitting! I think that this is the first step towards many great things.
September 26th, 2005 at 1:44 pm
congratulations on quitting a very horrible and unhealthy work environment jon! i just wanted to share with you (becuase of the very similar timing) that i just quit a job that i just wasn’t into at all (although not as terribly awful as yours sounds by any stretch). not even a month has gone by and i have found something else that i think i’ll love that lets me do the volunteering that my old job never allowed me to do and live in a city that i’m so much happier living in. best of luck to you and your whole family and i really think that you have made the best move and really great things are going to come out of it.
jess
September 26th, 2005 at 1:45 pm
Money is never more important than your health. You can work out the money issues that may crop up.. but health issues are a different matter. Hurray for you! Start living y our life and enjoying your family. Sounds like youve earned it
September 26th, 2005 at 1:46 pm
The B.’s are rooting for the EyebrowStrong’s. Give ‘em hell.