Herschel
October 27th, 2005I’ve long wanted to write a book about my years in the ska band Swim Herschel Swim, a classic college band who dreamed of making it big, but weren’t Weezer. We started in 1989 and broke up in 1993. At the time of the breakup, myself and the lead singer were all that was left of the original line up, and the manager was a case study of not letting a creative be in charge of the money. The manager is an amazing artist and a good musician as well. Not in the classically trained sense in either field, but in a hip, individualistic kind of a way that is frustrating as hell to someone who studies for years and can’t produce work with as much aural or visual power. He could be featured every year in annuals like Communication Arts, but he choses not to play. I always tell people who ask about him that it pisses me off that he’s not out there with his art. I consider it a huge waste of a colossal talent, contrarian writing notwithstanding.
There were times when the SHS band relationship with our manager was akin to that of the Village People with their manager; the manager insisting he was “in the band” (we were not a manufactured band) and no one challenged that firmly enough, so his photo was on the tape and in the band press photo. Imagine P.T. Barnum and Beck combined with a much hipper Donald Trump sans comb over and that was the manager. He insisted on and got equal billing. That’s not to say that he didn’t work his ass off, he did, but it was always very tenuous and awkward to be in a band where the manager upstaged the band 90% of the time. Diving into the fineries of this relationship would probably be about three chapters in the book. I believe no one challenged him because he was doing stunning illustrations for flyers, great bookings and great PR work for us as well as pushing us creatively, not that we all agreed on the direction, but he obviously cared enough to devote his life to the band. And it was through his finagling, schmoozing and balls that we opened for a lot of other acts, including No Doubt, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Special Beat.
We were very popular in our college town of Provo, Utah. There were two reasons for this, I believe, and neither have to do with musical ability or songwriting. The first is that the town was and is extremely uptight with nothing to do but rent videos and dry hump. Any band with a hype meister behind them could pull it off, and we were in the right place at the right time to do it. The music was fun and all, but the rep about the crazy shows was what propelled us, each time we played, we packed wherever it was in town, and the insane shit the kids would do made for a fantastic word of mouth and ensure that we’d never play that hall again. Then you have the Mormon element. People who saw us in 1989 went out into the world as missionaries, spoke of the band with siblings and co-missionaries. When people got back to Provo in 1991, or at the beginning of a term, they’d want to see what the fuss was about. So Mormons, number two.
Long story longer: We opened for No Doubt in the fall of 1992. At that point, hiring out places to play was becoming more and more difficult (probably another chapter or two) as the kids got crazier and crowds got larger, so we did the show at a union hall which always struck me as crazy in this reddest of red states. Alas, the steel mill that the union belonged to has long since closed. At the time, we used the back office at the hall as a dressing/green room. No Doubt at that time was not the No Doubt of 1998. Gwen Stefani’s brother Eric was still in the band, and their style was still closer to their ska roots. However, I watched them before they took the stage, and was blown away by their professionalism, closeness and particularly by Gwen. It wasn’t just her beauty, she was hot as hell to be sure, but it was how she carried herself. You just knew she was going to be famous watching her prep for the show and then walk onstage in a cheerleader outfit in front of 500 people in some podunk town in Utah. No Doubt were stoked at the reaction, telling us that they’d have us down in Anaheim, where the crowds responded to them like they did that night in Provo.
Right before we broke up, they came through for us. We opened for No Doubt and a band I can’t recall. I just remember playing a tight ass set, with great stage sound and feeling like a billion dollars at the response. This wasn’t the hometown, this was a big crowd in Cali, man. The highlight of that show was the All Star Jam™ at the end, featuring a surprise visit from Angelo Moore (Fishbone) dressed in a Tiger outfit and duetting with Gwen on the Journey epic “Anyway You Want it (That’s the way you need it)” I still get goosebumps remembering the horns on that song. I’ve long held that if No Doubt had recorded and released that as a single, they would have been more famous sooner. Like they needed it.
The next day, we were on break from shows and Gwen, Tony and Eric took a few of us up to Hollywood to shop and hang out. I remember Gwen talking about marriage and motherhood and how she knew Mormons and they kind of marry young (I was the only one in the crew that day who was married). All of them were extremely nice to us and I bring this up, because of a music critic that I heard on one of the Sunday morning grandpa shows. He talked about how music in the 90s was small and exclusive. No Doubt were the opposite, and their success is well-deserved. If you think their music is shite, you are entitled to that opinion, but they are good people. (Tangential sidebar: when we did grid magazine, the nicest people to work with were Metallica. They fed our people and made sure our photographer was treated well, giving him great access. I can’t say the same for Luscious Jackson. Or Everclear. Oh, the dirt.)
You can imagine then, the strange sense of Costanza-esque worlds colliding after hearing Heather’s report on the Gwen Stefani show.
And the manager of Swim Herschel Swim is still very tight with the No Doubters. He’s got a ton of great photos, some of Ms. Stefani. They are well worth checking out.
Merkeley, I don’t hate you, you retard.
October 27th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
I second the comment about the great photo portraits.
October 27th, 2005 at 9:36 pm
I remember how intrigued Gwen was when Hubbard quit the band so he could spend more time with his family. She just thought that that was so cool and honorable. I’m surprised that she hasn’t had a child yet as she always seemed to be so baby hungry…maybe that was what that one song is about (I forget the name).
Also that day that we cruised Hollywood with them I recall picking up Gwen from her parents house where she was still living. Pretty surreal to think about what a big shot she is nowadays.
I’ll second the retardedness of Merkelhead (hi Dave).
October 27th, 2005 at 9:38 pm
Finally! A post about Swim. Quick history — played in a band in college - Big Fin - that opened for Swim couple of times - some fantastic memories. Recall one gig in Park City where the bar owner was ticked that Swim ended their set 15 minutes early, so Swim ended up playing what seemed like a 15 minute version of Smells Like Teen Spirit - no vocals, just the melody played on the trombone over and over and over, still cracks me up. Fast forward 13 years to one bored evening surfing the internet for signs of Swim — found one brief mention in Merkeley’s crack-induced website, which linked to the dooce, which linked here. And sadly, nary a blurb by dj blurb about Swim — until now. (And where, you ask, did Big Fin end up — most of us are lawyers and the others are marketing execs). Really enjoyed your music and your gigs back then. Enjoy your photos just as much. Happy to buy you a great lunch one day and hear all about the days of Swim.
October 27th, 2005 at 11:23 pm
Everclear. Huh. Who’d a thunk it? What did Art do? Threaten your life? Wouldn’t surprise me. That man gives the word “hungry” a whole new meaning, like a half-starved puma. Although, he was usually nice to young bands, liking that mentoring image of himself. So, dish.
October 27th, 2005 at 11:30 pm
before this post i didn’t think you could get any cooler. sorry for letting the fangirl in me come out but i’m a huge no doubt fan. so thank you for posting this, i love to hear unique personnal anecdotes about them. after reading a bit about it on dooce i was hoping you would write on the subject yourself.
October 28th, 2005 at 2:04 am
Cool shit Jon. Love a good walk down memory lane
October 28th, 2005 at 4:55 am
good stuff, blurb - for a while I lived the East Coast version of that with some bands that shall remain nameless, but yeah, its amazing who ends up being REALLY nice and who ends up acting like an arse.
October 28th, 2005 at 5:37 am
Where did you get that name, “Swim Herschel Swim”? I always tease my husband because his parents originally named him Herschel, but changed it a few months later.
October 28th, 2005 at 6:09 am
I was there at BYU in 89 thru 94 and got to see the band several times. Those were good times, the dry humping included.
October 28th, 2005 at 6:28 am
At last! The Merkeley story is told.
Now, I can sleep.
October 28th, 2005 at 7:50 am
i (for whatever reason) am DYING to know the dirt on Luscious Jackson. hook up? and all those college years i thought they were so utterly COOL. but of course, there’s more…
October 28th, 2005 at 8:09 am
I’ve been reading your stuff for some time now and you’ve mentioned your band, late 80’s ska and, particularly, Fishbone a few times. All I can say is that it warms my soul to read about someone who loves that music as much a me and my friends did during those years.
“Truth and Soul” is probably THE album through which I judge all others and the Fisbone concert I attended at Tipitina’s in 1991 was almost a religious experience.
That being said, I would really like the opportunity to hear some of SHS’s music. I think it would help round-out my ska experience.
October 28th, 2005 at 9:12 am
Now you’re even cooler! Love the reference to “The Commitments.” I’ve seen that movie far too many times.
October 28th, 2005 at 9:26 am
I’m not surprised that Everclear is bunch of assholes. I saw them at a festival concert 8 years ago and they remain the worst live act I have ever seen. I call them Eversuck.
As for No Doubt, when I read Heather’s account of seeing Gwen I was holding my breath to see if she liked her. I saw her perform with No Doubt and she was so fucking cool She actually climbed the scaffolding on the outdoor stage while she was singing. A consumate entertainer AND she’s so hot.
October 28th, 2005 at 10:07 am
Finally, the man speaks and humbly at that. SWS was a lot more than hype. I was there, I lugged the gear, catered and schlepped around Ranking Roger for your Special Beat show, and sat on the floor of the studio while you recorded. Yeah, the packaging was great and Merkely-esque but you all hads the musical goods too. SWS packed FAT hooks, horns, and more hooks.
Those massive hordes of mormon kids knew every damn lyric and sreamed them back at you in their own frezied blend of sexually repressed rage and guilty subversiveness. Stereotypes aside, those kids were the real deal. Real fans. I’m convinced that had you had the means to gig across the US, you would have found the response the same anywhere you went and most likely would have found the same type of grassroots wunder-fan base that 311 later found. (That’s not to say I like 311, I don’t. Just is a good illustration of a cross-genre band finding an audience under the radar).
Shit, without SWS I may never have learned to love a fuzzy butt.
October 28th, 2005 at 10:09 am
I can’t believe I wrote “Ranking” vs. “Rankin’”… Have I lost all edge?
October 28th, 2005 at 10:17 am
Sitting here seething with nostalgia. Never got to open for No Doubt or anyone who became famous but had lots of crazy/great times back in the day. We were suppose to open for Green Day just
before they broke big. The rumour went that they took one look at the venue and found somewhere else to play. I have trouble believing that, the stripper pole was in a socket, they took it down before the bands played. No big deal.
Ah well, I guess my lack of even moderate success is a good thing; I’m still in a band. It’s not such a bad hobby. One night a week my 40something buddies and I damage our hearing and a couple of times a year (this Saturday as it happens) we play out. Nothing like an audience of friends and family to make you feel like a rock star. Mind you humping the gear makes me feel old as hell. Whatever possessed me to buy a Jazz Chorus?
October 28th, 2005 at 10:27 am
Be careful, folks. Don’t trip over each other as y’all rush to drop names…
October 28th, 2005 at 11:20 am
Dame drop, shame drop. Let’s here who folks blew to get backstage.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:22 am
Alright then erat, here’s one more: I’m in the same class as Erik Ratcliffe.
Oh, the dropping hasn’t even begun.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:25 am
That would be “lower class,” I guess?
Actually, I’m more like school on Saturday: NO class…
(I’ll put on my steel-toed boots, then… I’ve almost gotten a few crushed toes already from the droppage.)
October 28th, 2005 at 11:29 am
Lower class? How is blowing some bloated dude behind a tour bus in order to shake someone’s hand lower class?
Or were you being literal.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:36 am
P.S. For the record, I was only kidding.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:41 am
Well, I can’t say I’ve ever engaged in oral congress with obese band staff members (at least I don’t have any recollection of doing so). Perhaps if I had I would have more names I could drop. As for class, which is lower: the catcher or the pitcher? It’s all a matter of taste, I guess.
Sorry, bad pun.
Actually, here’s a name I can drop: Jacqueline Smith. I once made her a pizza. My knees didn’t even have to get dirty. (I tried writing my phone number in plum tomatoes but was told to cut it out.)
Who am I kidding? I’ve lived a dull, dull life…
October 28th, 2005 at 11:43 am
P.P.S. So was I (except for the J.S. pizza, that is. And the thing about oral congress. Okay, I guess I wasn’t kidding after all.)
October 28th, 2005 at 11:43 am
Um, I think we’d ALL like to see pictures of you at that point in your life, rockin’ out.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:47 am
Now, had you given oral pleasure to Jacqueline Smith while making her pizza, I’d fly to where ever you are and buy you a drink.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:52 am
Jacqueline Smith: the hottest Angel (post Farrah) in my opinion. Cheryl Ladd a very close #2.
October 28th, 2005 at 12:16 pm
Hmmm, got nothing on Jacqueline Smith and the plum tomato pizza (now there’s a good band name…)
I once grabbed Gavin Rossdale’s ass before he was married to Gwen Stefani though. I think it was my 15 minutes; it’s all been downhill from there.
October 28th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
feisty girl: I’m thinking Ross on Friends in Rachel’s prom video, complete with ‘fro, mustache, and Casio. I could be wrong. It’s not like I know the guy.
October 28th, 2005 at 2:44 pm
This post, and the fact that I get a handful of people each week landing on my site because they searched Swim Herschel Swim has inspired me to write my version of events. It will probably be longer than yours. It will most certainly piss off Rod. I’ll post it soon.
Thanks for the link.
October 28th, 2005 at 3:06 pm
Hey!! I was in CA a few times. And I used to date a lead guitarist in a band before they hit it big. But I don’t want to name drop. : )
I love these stories. I also want a pic of you rocking out.
And thanks for the merkley??? link. I love his art. Nice!
October 28th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
Wow — thanks for posting that little tale. Stuff I wouldn’t have thunk. And especially thanks for the link to merkley’s art: awe-inspiring. I love when I can look at someone’s work and have no fucking clue how they created it.
October 28th, 2005 at 10:17 pm
Let me just say this.
I’m from Seattle.
I know who Herschel is and I know why you would plead with him to swim.
’nuff said.
October 28th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
do you have any pictures from that of the band?
October 30th, 2005 at 10:24 am
Jon, I love you even more, saying nice things about Metallica
October 30th, 2005 at 10:56 am
Good for you for not hating him. I just read his site and I think he’s the hugest asshole I’ve ever encountered, in print or in life. I’m counting Bob Novak here too.
You’re a nice person.
October 30th, 2005 at 9:42 pm
I love reading this type of stuff as I used to go out and see heaps of bands (wasn’t in the right place to see SHS though). My first ever CD I bought was a Fishbone one and I got to see them at Reading in 1993.
Ah, memories!
October 31st, 2005 at 7:26 am
If I remeber that SHS/ND show in Orem right, Gwen came out with little devil horns on her head for the finale, which was a song about the devil, I think. That was awesome, Jon. (Was that when we first met? With Sam, at New York Pizza or whatever?) You know, I have half of “I Wish I Had A Raygun” on my iPod. It’s fun to listen to music by people you know.