Boasting
March 20th, 2006This morning Heather took Leta to play with some friends and while they were gone I was able to:
- Go number two. Alone.
- Collect laundry and start the first of what will be four loads. This isn’t yet a daily thing. I’m hoping that if we expand the brood, it won’t quite get to daily.
- Make the bed.
- Check email.
- Fold laundry from the dryer. It’s been in the dryer for a couple of days, I think.
- Put folded laundry away.
- Put breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.
All of these are small victories. Of this I am aware. I’ll take the wins wherever I can. o
March 20th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
Expand the brood?
March 20th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
You have to be alone to do all that? Are you washing those clothes with a stone and lye?
You guys need to work out a better system. I have my oldest daughter (who’s two-years-old tomorrow) help me with my chores. She’s really good at pushing the clothes into the dryer, and handing me clean dishes. She actually gets upset sometimes if I don’t let her help me.
Now, my kids may end up with OCD, but hey, at least the house is clean.
As to the number two, alone: Just lock your bathroom door. You know your kids are alive from all the screaming and pounding outside, and its good excersize for them.
March 20th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
A victory is a victory! Hoo-Rah!
I might suggest to keep #1 on the DL, though, lest a seethingly jealous better half gets a notion to fortify meals with lots o’ cheese to remedy any regularity.
BTW, excellent blogs! Congrats to you both on all the success! Been a lurker for a few months, figuring I should do the archives first before jumping in mid- stream.
March 20th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
That, I would say, is living the American dream. Our forefathers would be so proud.
March 20th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
First….yea….expand the brood? OH??
and B….you should ALWAYS go number 2 alone….ALWAYS!
March 20th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Jon!
I could have written that list (minus expanding the brood…there will be NONE of that going on around here)!
I do have to add one item however:
8. Eat Ritz crackers with aerosol cheese without having to share.
March 20th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
That is awesome. Most guys I know wouldn’t have done housework, they would have played Splinter Cell or something.
Good for you!
March 20th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Well done! Look at what a great helper you are!
And I must admit “expand the brood” did catch my attention as well…
March 20th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Many congratulations on all counts.
March 20th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
I think y’all need to read a little more closely. The word “if” is featured in point 2. IF, people. IF.
March 20th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
You were quite productive!
Yeah, the laundry and dishwasher are always the toughest ones for me to get to on my days at home with my son. Loading/unloading the dishwasher can be so loud so you can’t do it during a nap, but you get too busy during awake times.
And pooping alone, well, I’d settle for pooping without feeling rushed.
March 20th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Crap. I do, like, 4 loads of laundry almost every other day and I am single and childless. This does not bode well for the future….
March 20th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
You’re not doing laundry daily?
How is that possible?
March 20th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Boasting?
Very independant, Jon. Very independant.
March 20th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
As a new stepparent I feel your pain. This morning folded four loads before leaving for work at seven. I only do number 2’s on my days off.
March 20th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
OK, I’m not so sure that “featured” is an apt description of the word ‘if’ being used in that post. You obviously have overlooked Heather’s devoted readers and her numerous posts mentioning things to the effect of Leta being an only child. To them, “expand the brood” was in the blurbomat equivalent of marquee lights.
I’m quite certain that, after your eloquent post, your talented spouse will totally reconsider and commence with the procreating just to test your laundry theory.
March 20th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
holy crap. i’m single and have no offspring or roommates or significant others and i still am only able to squeeze that level of productivity in on weekends.
oh, except for #1. that one i get to do a little more, uh, regularly.
March 20th, 2006 at 7:26 pm
you are a good man. my husband doesn’t do the laundry. ever. he will bring up giant piles of clean clothes upstairs for me to sort and put away but that’s it. he doesn’t cook either. sigh.
(for what it’s worth, i think you should expand the brood. have a boy that looks just like heather and then you’ll be even.)
March 20th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
You are right to be boastful, though I can’t figure out how you’re not to the point of daily laundry yet. We have been ever since Bella was born. And most of Alex’s clothes are done and the cleaner’s! (Mommy’s work clothes are wash-n-wear, but Daddy’s a little too good for that.)
March 20th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
Everyone’s waggling their eyebrows at the ‘expand the brood’ comment. Waggle waggle!
Kudos to you on the laundry. We still each do our own. That way my whites aren’t pink. (Control freaks release their death clutch one thing at a time. This one’s not going anywhere anytime soon…)
March 20th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
You know that all anyone read in that entire post was “expand the brood”? Right?
So when are you knocking Heather up? Does she know about your plans to “expand the brood”?
Or were you talking about another four legged member?
March 20th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
sah wheet! what an impressive day. and i mean that.
March 20th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Granted I have neither a child or a spouse…but really, is loading a dishwasher really a chore? Washing the dishes sure, but loading??? The machine does the hard part for you! (I’m bitter cause I have never, EVER had a machine do the dishes for me)
Oh and congrats on getting all that other stuff done.
March 20th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Wow, I can’t believe laundry isn’t an everyday thing! What - are you guys like wearing everything twice before tossing it in the laundry basket?
Except - uh - for underpants. One can always go commando for the sake of conservation, hey.
March 21st, 2006 at 12:35 am
After reading this post and Heather’s, I have to say Jon . . . you rock. I feel your pain about laundry. I sometimes feel like I am chained to my machine. How can something that only involve taking things out and putting them in take up so much damn time!
March 21st, 2006 at 4:50 am
You know, that a man talking that way, to us women, is the best dirty talkin’ a man can do. Fold away buddy, fold away.
March 21st, 2006 at 7:01 am
Life gets better as the kids get older…rest assured.
i can now accomplish all your tasks and drink vodka before lunch!
March 21st, 2006 at 7:21 am
Heather’s right. You’re not my husband, but you’re making ME hot!
March 21st, 2006 at 7:51 am
Nice to hear I’m not the only husband doing laundry.
And I’m glad you got a chance to be alone in the John, Jon. It’s important to keep up your spiritual practices
March 21st, 2006 at 8:12 am
Expand the brood??
More gorgeous/precocious Blurbodoocery progeny?
Indeed!
March 21st, 2006 at 8:43 am
I’m laughing out loud while doing #1 (I love wireless internet combined with a PowerBook… it has so many possibilities). And reading the comments of “the kim half of glamorouse” and “napangel”. SO FUNNY. It reminded me of a gal I photographed a few years ago. On the questionnaire she filled out she listed one of her turn-ons and fantasies as “a man who does the dishes”.
March 21st, 2006 at 8:58 am
Foil in the window? Oh dear Lord.
March 21st, 2006 at 9:24 am
IF you expand your offspring count, you WILL be doing laundry daily. And nothing says being productive more than doing laundry daily. But, by that time, Leta will be old enough to be your laundry slave….hehehehe, j/k!
March 21st, 2006 at 9:40 am
Jon,
As a working mom supporting a SAH Dad, I would like to compliment you on all the stuff you’ve done this morning. Woohoo!
As far as expanding the brood, I read the “IF” in there, but just had to say that Child #1 has been part of our life for 3 adn a half years now, and we now have no desire for Child #2. We’d always planned on two, but now we realize one is right for us. Just some support in case you get comments about HAVING to have another child. I don’t buy it.
Thanks in general for the humor and openness of the Blurbodoocery. Love the insights.
March 21st, 2006 at 10:22 am
Jon,
Not that I’m not proud of all your current accomplishments, but what happened to your political posts??? So much to talk about–Bush’s Nixonesque poll numbers, Cheney grousing that there’s no civil war, Don Rumsfeld trying to pull something–anything–out of his ass.
Check out:
http://tinyurl.com/g7m5z
for a great post on how the the war in Iraq is really going.
March 21st, 2006 at 10:51 am
#2 alone!?!? WOW!
No daily laundry?? DOUBLE WOW!
I must admit that my husband puts away more laundry than I…I get it to that point and I’ve HAD it with clothes, for the day. We’re on the daily laundry schedule w/one day off per week…two active boys under 7 will do that to you.
Congrats on your productive day…and I wouldn’t be a Dooce fan if I didn’t say… expand on the brood???!!!! WHEN?
Liz
March 21st, 2006 at 11:37 am
I’m totally trading my spouse-model for one of you.
(You did WAY more than I do!)
Good on ya!
March 21st, 2006 at 11:42 am
Individually, they may seem small accomplishments, but to do all of the above in the same day? That’s huge.
March 21st, 2006 at 11:45 am
Good job! Can you move in next door and teach my husband these same tricks?
Also, NUMBER TWO! So many people have never heard of this. When I explained it to my husband, he laughed! At me!
Whoever decided that poop would be number two instead of number one? or, number sixty-seven?
That’s what I want to know.
March 21st, 2006 at 11:57 am
You fold AND put away?
I am so trading mine in for the latest model.
March 21st, 2006 at 2:09 pm
I wish you’d made item number two on the list the one about going number two. There would have been a synchronicity to it that I’d have liked.
March 21st, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Congratulations on the accomplishments. But the burning question is, which item took the longest? I have my suspicions . . .
March 21st, 2006 at 3:22 pm
I’m 50 and my husband and I just took over guardianship of my niece and nephew, 11 and 9 years old. My kids are 26 and 30. Fortunately my husband is 8 years younger than I am and for the first time I’m the working “mom” and he’s the “working at home writing but mostly doing parental and household work, dad.” It’s been an adjustment but so far he rocks. He has even posted a “word of the day” at the breakfast table! He has times tables printed on little cards for quick reference and practice on the drive to school. He is twice the mom I ever was. I do much better sitting at my desk chartering private jets and have learned (well, I’m working on it) how to not tell him how to do something better (better meaning “my way”) and just accept that if it’s done by any method it’s better than not being done at all and leave it at that (although I do have a brand new fancy front load washer and dryer and I’ve been thinking how much I’d love someday soon to sit him down and “teach” him how to do the laundry more efficiently and effectively) but after reading your post today and Heather’s I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut, smile and stay in my office before I blow the best thing I’ve ever had. (He even won - oh, I mean my NIECE won - first place at the science fair last week!)
March 21st, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Congratulations on the alone time at home and actually accomplishing some tasks… How long have you been home with Heather and Leta? You are already taking after Heather and writing about pooh on here!
You guys seems to be doing great with the working at home and getting to spend lots of QT with Leta! Congrats!
I am sure plenty are jealous of you guys!
March 22nd, 2006 at 8:18 am
Last night, I dreamt that I got to go shopping with Dooce and Blurb and Leta.
I don’t know what we bought, but we had fun.
That could be construed as creepy, but I think it’s a reflection of Heather and Jon’s terrific individual writing styles, in which posts about the mundane details of day-to-day housekeeping are interesting and memorable.
PS - bought my first pair of Crocs last week per Jon’s endorsement - LOVE THEM!
March 22nd, 2006 at 8:27 am
For the record, I didn’t endorse a particular line of clogs. I merely endorse the clog lifestyle.
March 22nd, 2006 at 8:12 pm
I intend this comment in a genuine, not-impertinent way: I have been thinking - all day - about the fact that you can clean chocolate stains off your own pants, and I agree with Heather that this is terribly, terribly hot. My X, bless him, had many fine qualities and I cannot count the friends who salivated over his habit of bleaching the kitchen counters ever Saturday morning while he brewed the coffee. There should be ‘porn’ of men doing housework.
March 22nd, 2006 at 8:42 pm
viragette –
I’ll be happy to make videos of my husband for you. I’ll just have to cut the audio portion where he bitches about doing all that housework (the only drawback to my house-husband).
I also have the added bonus that he has a job as a registered nurse. Makes him MUCH more qualified than me to clean up shit around the house. Which I totally use to my advantage.