Comments on: Crying It Out

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 23:48:17 +0000

I don’t have kids and don’t have much of an opinion (except that anything that prevents obnoxious, spoiled, “Cambridge kids” from existing is a good thing). But I did want to say the one thing I can’t believe about all the controversy on your wife’s entry is the fact that a certain arguing party blamed HER for letting the argument go “on and on and on.” I’m sorry, unless it is physically impossible for you to comment on a website, you just can’t stop yourself from doing it?

Although you and your wife unfortunately do not experience this, in my opinion it is not up to the owner of a -blog- to control what the frighteningly aggressive general masses choose to say to each other (as your wit-tempered “paranoid section of the site” attests). It is a not a public forum, and Heather is not a “moderator.” It is a blog where she gets to write about her life and people get to read it. Funny how so many people fail to understand that no matter how many times she says it.

By: mindymax

mindymax — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 21:11:00 +0000

Wanted to comment on Heather’s blog but then things ‘turned’ and I decided to skip it. But I agree so much with how you are describing the
reason(s)you let Leta CIO.

We didn’t sleep train our first and did sleep train our 2nd. We learned from our mistakes and were emphatically determined to NOT repeat the wrongs we made with #1 with #2. My sanity was strained to the limit w/ #1.

I agree completely with your comments – kids cry. They cry a lot ‘cuz they’re not happy with things a lot. That’s part of being a kid – whether the kids is an infant, a toddler or wherever they are in their life stage. It’s not abuse or cruel. It isn’t in any way a reflection of the parenting skills of the parents. They’re kids. They don’t like being told what to do and when to do it – but they have to be told – and have to be taught so they’ll learn. For their sakes as well as for those around them.

Keep doing what you’re doing (both of you). Leta’s fine. And while the comments on H’s blog took an interesting turn, I’m still really glad to be able to comment.

Congrats to you both on becoming an “LLC”.

By: Karihun

Karihun — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 17:13:33 +0000

We sleep trained our now 8 month old in a somewhat similar way. People are amazed when they are over at our house and we just lay him down in his room and walk out and they don’t hear him cry in protest. He does the same thing if we are at someone else’s house also. He is a much happier baby with sleep and I am a much happier and less stressed out mama!!! Heather is lucky to have such a supportive hubby. (When we first start training my son Lucas my husband wanted to just go pick him up he couldn’t take the crying… or Lucas or me the first night.. but when we saw it worked we realized it was the best thing we’ve done for Lucas so far)

By: annepet

annepet — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 15:13:21 +0000

It’s always gratifying to add one’s twopennorth to this sort of thing. We have two children – a neurotic 4 year old, and a determined 2 year old. We seemed to repeatedly sleep train the older one – and, for him, to have left him to CIO would have been traumatic. Instead, at bedtime we did a gradual withdrawal – so from sitting next to him, to sitting by the door, to sitting in the doorway with just my toes visible, to sitting outside the room – and now he’s fine.

The younger one – yes we did let her CIO – we tried going in after increasing intervals, but she just became even more outraged than if we left her to it. And I reached the stage where I was simply so exhausted that I slept through a lot of it.

And (cross hat on here) – to those who think that letting one’s child CIO is about the parents getting 10 hours – no, in our case it was more about getting more than 4 broken hours every night, so that we could actually function as human beings (and therefore parents) the rest of the time. For those for whom letting the baby latch on to the all-night milk bar works – great – for us, no it didn’t.

So put me in your supporters’ camp – we didn’t do exactly what you did, but we did what worked *for the whole family*

By: mo-wo

mo-wo — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 04:27:32 +0000

But if we focus on having a child that sleeps well, among other things, how can we martyr ourselves on our parenthood? If our kids are treated as developing humans with needs they cannot anticipate will we not be expected to be interested and engaged parents who might enjoy our children.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:07:20 +0000

You and Heather don’t deserve attacks! You deserve kudos! You’re actually RAISING your child, which in recent years seems to have gone tragically out of vogue – people suddenly argue that teaching their children manners, how to sleep, etc. will irrevocably harm them.

Be proud of yourself. You’ve got a wonderful little toddler that you are raising right.

By: kjc

kjc — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 22:47:38 +0000

Bravo to you and Heather. One less kid I’d see in public having a temper tantrum because of: lack of sleep, used to having their way, spoiled rotten, etc. That is… if I lived in Utah!

By: ranzino

ranzino — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 14:31:29 +0000

Put me in the camp of your supporters for this method. I cannot imagine what two weeks would have felt like though. With our now 2 1/2 year old we did the same thing at about 6 months. Fortunately, for us it only took 2-3 days (a la the book) and it was over.

These days we have a happy healthy little boy who sleep from 7:15 at night till about 6:30 am (with a two hour nap in between) and would sleep even more if we let him.

Bedtime is a fun time filled with stories, songs, and love. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day. I can’t imagine it any other way.

By: melmo

melmo — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 12:52:12 +0000

Crying for babies = talking for toddlers. Babies don’t have any words, so they express through crying. It’s heart wrenching to hear, but it’s their way of communicating. We should all keep this in mind.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 06:41:17 +0000

I can’t comment on sleep training as I am nowhere near having a kid, but I now have a mental image of Chuck wearing reading glasses and reading some Kant by the fireplace. HEE!