Worst Case Scenario
April 18th, 2006Nope. I’m not talking about the White House.
I’m talking about our house.
I had a root canal scheduled for today, but the dentist took some more x-rays and decided to let me try to medicate for a bit to be certain. Because the crown that he just put in on the tooth that might need the root canal may only need a few more days of anti-inflammatories to calm down. But the crown and the resulting stories from the pain are for another day.
What we are going to talk about today is shit. Or the line that the shit travels in when it’s supposed to leave your house. Doctors call it the sewer line. Ours is jacked about sixty ways to your favorite deity (or non-deity).
Here’s the timeline:
Tuesday of last week: We take DORJ! to the airport last week and the next day I notice some weird debris in the shower. At first I just thought it might have been DORJ!-related, but upon closer inspection of the basement area, realize that it’s not DORJ! related in the least. It’s a drain problem. I figure, hey, maybe it’s the wet spring. Maybe it’s just that the city drains are overwhelmed. Sure. That’s what it is. It’s not my problem.
Friday of last week: Leta goes to visit Grandmommy while Heather and I clean up the basement in preparation for a minor facelift we’ve been planning for a couple of years. New carpet, some tile, maybe a new vanity in the basement bathroom… maybe some new tile in the shower… Nothing too crazy, but enough to make us feel like the basement is ours again after the tumultuous teen years of our former Congressman dog turned goth. We get it done and I’m feeling like a million dollars. Except for the crowned tooth. That is kicking my ass. I’m barely able to stand it. Heather tells me I need an attitude adjustment. I agree and apologize. We have a visit from a landscaping dude to estimate what it’s going to take to de-ghettofy our front yard, which is an embarrassment to both Heather and I.
Weekend: I’m in tooth-related pain most of the weekend. Heather loans me some Neurontin. Just a half-dosage knocks me so hard on my ass that I’m pretty much useless until Easter Sunday night when I finally mow the lawn, because anything I can do to help the yard will be appreciated. The Easter Bunny is very pro-lawn care. There is an egg dye issue with Leta’s pants.
Monday: Snow storm. Disgusting. Heather and I are working in the newly clean basement when we hear this crazy gurgle coming from the shower drain. I immediately go and flush the toilet to make sure the drains are clean. It won’t drain. I plunge it. I hear noises in the shower drain and sink. Shit. Shit.
Shit.
I then decide to call the city. Maybe it really is the wet spring. They send out a sewer guy. He’s here in fifteen minutes. Broadband providers could learn a few things about service from the sewer people. Easy. It’s a related industry.
Today: Feeling a little better. Weather breaking a bit. Leta’s being really awesome and funny and jokey and starting to draw 6’s. With gusto. The day unravels when I notice that the toilet in the basement won’t drain after I flush it. It wasn’t even poop. I promise. Same gurgly noise. Same terror-stricken red flags popping up in my head. Trying not to think about root canal scheduled for 4:00 pm.
3:12 pm: Call one rooter service. They won’t quote a price on clearing the drain. Schedule them post-root canal. Decide to get opinion of plumber that helped us with the kitchen. Call. He doesn’t do rooting of any kind. But he has a guy.
3:16 pm: Call the guy. He says he can be out in about twenty minutes. He also gives me a basic quote and tells me that 90% of jobs are done in an hour or less. And that 80% of his business is in the older parts of town. Where we live. I have a twinge at this point. Kind of like a character in The Shining.
3:39 pm: Dude arrives. Gives me the lowdown. Tells me it might be roots. Before I moved to San Francisco in 1998, I rented a duplex in an older part of town that had to be cabled, so I know what that’s about.
3:53 pm: I’m in the car trying to make my dentists appointment on time. Not gonna happen.
4:12 pm: Arrive at dentist. Wait a few minutes, consult. Put on iPod to drown out the anxiety and noise. Turn it back down 28 seconds later to talk to the dentist. Walk out root canal-free with a couple of prescriptions for an anti-inflammatory and a decongestant. Sweet.
4:40 pm: Call Heather to let her know I’m going to try to fill the prescriptions before I come home. She mentions that the guy might have to work overtime/call in reinforcements. Since it’s only been an hour, I’m not too worried. I tell her I’ll be home in a bit.
4:58 pm: Realize I’ve forgotten my wallet as i walk into the store. I left it home. Before I left for the dentist. Brain power, people. BRAIN power.
5:03 pm: Ask the pharmacist to quote me on the meds, even though I’ve forgotten my wallet. Not too bad.
5:16 pm: Arrive home. Greeted with nasty sewage smell. Go downstairs and see some nasty… stuff. Not shit, actually, just bad things coming out of the drain. Dude is telling me it’s going to take awhile. He hasn’t seen it this bad in a few jobs.
5:35 pm: Fill prescriptions.
5:54 pm: Arrive home, check in with the guy. Not looking good.
6:00 pm - 7:43 pm: Chaos. Dinner, friends stopping in, girls screaming, heavy machinery operating in basement. Leta goes to bed without a bath.
7:58 pm: Reinforcements arrive. Dude has a trailer with a lot of hose. Hose not initially used. Just this crazy attachment called “The Whip”.
8:32 pm: They ran the cable, with The Whip, to the street. Still no drain action. Time for the hose. It’s referred to as jetting it out. One guy on roof, one guy running the pump, me monitoring the basement. I’m watching the shower drain and toilet to make sure it doesn’t flood.
It floods. A little bit.
Diagnosis: There is a huge fan somewhere between our house and the street. The sewer line has likely “bellied”. In probably several places. Which is why the cable and Whip could get to the street, but the water wouldn’t drain. And the several thousand PSI water line that couldn’t clear the drains.
They have to come back tomorrow and dig. Both the guys were very somber when they told us we were looking at a worse case scenario.
Here’s what our downstairs bathroom looks like:
WARNING GRAPHIC IMAGES OF SHIT-LIKE SUBSTANCE (Heather wants everyone to know that it’s not actually what it looks like or what you think it is. It’s sludge… soil and debris. Dirt from the damaged line. Honest.). DO NOT CLICK LINKS IF YOU ARE OF WEAK CONSTITUTION.
It’s not going to be cheap.
UPDATE: Heather is crying. o
April 18th, 2006 at 11:57 pm
UGH! When I was a child, the whole family would come visit and stay with us for holidays. EVERY SINGLE TIME the downstairs bathroom would get clogged. Finally, after too many plumbers to count, we had to essentially get a lawn colostomy bag installed. It was this 3 inch diameter pipe plunged into the front yard that was used to clear out all the roots from the ginormous trees. It’s a lovely lawn item. Cuter than a garden gnome! Anyway, just wanted to say that I am glad I’m a renter and not a homeowner when I see these types of things.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:10 am
Wow - we had sewer/drain issues this weekend, too, but yours win. Grody.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:17 am
I am so sorry! This very same thing happened to me in my last house. After several late night calls (read: expensive!) finally getting some super special equipment (whatever it was, I think it was a fake metal detector and the dude went “beep” wherever he felt like), they decided to try digging up the tree next to the bathroom, saying it was roots.
Sure enough, I never had that lovely sludge again.
But now, now I am in a new old crappy house, and I live everyday in fear of that sludge. If the drains so much as gurgle I cringe.
You have my sympathy.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:18 am
Oh geez a lou, the smell must be fierce! And oh yeah, it’s going to cost you a pretty penny. Lots of them. Lots and lots and lots.
That’s why plumbers live in mansions you know.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:19 am
Wow! That’s all I have to say about your whirlwind of a day. Those plumbing problems sound like they suck majorly. I really hope it works out okay… somehow! :-p
p.s. I should have listened to you. Those pics were pretty gross.
April 19th, 2006 at 2:14 am
bro. so…..not…….fun.
April 19th, 2006 at 4:15 am
My sympathies.
April 19th, 2006 at 4:32 am
My dad told me before we bought our home that water in unwanted places is a homeowner’s worst nightmare. I am sorry that you have this trouble! If it’s any comfort to you, I am in the middle of having TWO crowns put in - and motherofgod, I feel your pain in that realm.
April 19th, 2006 at 4:38 am
Talk about a confluence of the worst possible events: plumbing and dentistry. My sympathies.
April 19th, 2006 at 4:43 am
Reminds me of ‘Meet the parents’. Does Chuck actually flush toilet after pooping?
April 19th, 2006 at 5:02 am
Oh yuck, that sucks.
Hopefully the worst case scenario is remedied today.
Glad to hear your root canal…WASN’T!
April 19th, 2006 at 5:59 am
I love having an old house, in a non cookie-cutter neigbourhood where there are trees and stuff, but reading stuff like this (and mopping water in my own basement makes me think the cookie-cutter house people kinda have a point. New houses don’t normally get leaky basement or sewage draining issues.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:26 am
Sorry to hear about your troubles. At least the EPA doesn’t have to get involved. Last summer my oil tank leaked in my basement.
Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal, they would just clean up the oil put in a tank and be done with it. Unfortunately, the only 8 square feet of my basement that was exposed to the dirt below our house was directly beneath our oil tank. Not only did I have to pay for a new tank, reclamation of the oil that was in the tank, disposal of the old tank, disposal of the sludge that was in the old tank, I aklso had to pay to have guys remove dirt and dispose of it, TWICE, till it met our local standards of 50 parts per million of ground contamination. It was a long hot wet American summer.
This too shall pass.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:36 am
*sigh* good luck.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:37 am
That is exactly the type of situation every homeowner fears. My husband and I shake in terror whenever we see a plumbing truck anywhere in the neighborhood - like we fear what they have may be contagious.
Hang in there - both of you.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:43 am
my shit story:
i was 12 years old and on summer vacation. we were having drain problems in our house and my mom told me the plumber was coming that day to do something in the basement and to call her at work and tell her what he says.
so, he arrives and goes down into our basement with this thing and i hear whirling noises .. then he comes back up and says to me, (a 12 yr old) “Ma’am, you can’t flush Kotex!” i am instantly mortified (and i’m not stupid - of COURSE you can’t flush a Kotex! duh!) so, i say .. “um… i don’t.” (i’m almost dead from the embarassment)”well, the kind with the STRINGS! don’t flush those!!” so, i had to call my mom and repeat this conversation for her with the friggin plumber standing there.
old houses, tree roots, and things with strings don’t go together i guess.
April 19th, 2006 at 7:05 am
Dude & Dooce, that totally blows, sucks, bites and isn’t even remotely fun the way blowing, sucking & biting could be. Man. I feel the gut wrench on your behalf, being a homeowner is a joy and a bitch and anything costing big bucks is horrible. I’m so sorry. I hope you can get it all fixed (including your tooth) soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 7:12 am
You made the same fatal error we did.
We made home improvement plans. Everytime we make home improvement plans, something mechanical fails elsewhere in the house which takes from our beautification budget.
April 19th, 2006 at 7:46 am
In the years I’ve been pretending to be an adult the only constant about home ownership is that eventually everyone gets to have their sewer replaced.
My brother, who live in our basement during our “turn”, awoke after a big thunderstorm to find himself sleeping in the center of a lake of bobbing poop. Calls to the city and a sewer replacement specialist resulted in our front lawn being completely dug up and our just completed landscaping destroyed.
But we got it all replaced later that summer and it actually started to look good again. And then the neighbour had the same problem (we live in a semi-detached home). So they dug it up again…
Take heart John - at least you hadn’t done your landscaping. (You might want to see if the city has a program to replace the sewer - they pay the first 1,000 bucks here…)
April 19th, 2006 at 7:51 am
Dude! I’m soooo sorry. That just sucks.
Not that it’ll make you feel any better, but that sure reminds me of an episode of Dirty Jobs:
http://tinyurl.com/qgqbj
April 19th, 2006 at 7:54 am
Argh. Drain problems suck (actually, no. They don’t suck. THAT’S THE PROBLEM).
We went through similiar issues of constantly having shit and sludge backing up in our basement. We finally got on a scheduale of having it “mini-jetted” (due to our 80-year old clay pipes) every three months for about four years when we finally wised up and realized, Hey! Maybe we should get that pipe replaced!
It has been much better since. But I have to say potty training made me nervous as hell. Three-year olds tend to want to use WAY TOO MUCH toliet paper.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:00 am
I am so sorry. Wow. God, I want to send you guys a case of Billy Mays’ KABOOM! And some percodan for your tooth.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:15 am
Much, much sympathy. We too live in an older home (c. 1900), and 6 months after we moved & shortly after the first kid was born, we began getting weird flooding. Only for us, what you saw in the toilet, shower and (ugh) washing machine was EXACTLY what you thought it was. I’m shuddering just thinking about it. Anyway, we called our local guys (ASAP Drains ROCK!)and they came to fix the problem. Turns out, some genius had attempted to flush a deodorant stick down the system. Here’s the scary part - it was not a brand of deodorant that either I or my husband used. So either we had deodorant gnomes, or the previous owners had done it. 6 months - ugh, ugh, ugh. Good luck - I feel your considerable pain.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:18 am
I had something similar happen, only I got lucky. I realized on New Year’s Eve that there was six inches of not-drained water pooled in my unfinished (and unused at the time) basement. Dad came over and tried to snake the drain - no luck. I had to call a plumber out on New Year’s Eve to try to clear the drain. The huge oak tree in my front yard had grown through the line. After two or three hours of snaking, the guy actually did clear the drain, but he said that, in twenty years, he’d *never* gotten that many roots out of a drain. I religiously put root killer down the pipes, but eventually I’ll be in the same boat.
On the upside, once you replace the sewer line, you should never have to worry about it again. Sewer lines and electrical panels are things old-home owners just KNOW they’re going to have to replace eventually. As someone pointed out, you might as well do it before Leta’s flushing entire rolls of TP at once.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:19 am
Cripes…we had much the same trouble, but with the city’s part of the line, meaning they got to pay for it.
Well, on an upnote, here’s a piece of shit you won’t have to see for a while: White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan! He announced his resignation.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:24 am
damn the plumbing woes! damn them. i’m sorry- just think, it will be all better soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:47 am
Dude… sorry for you guys. That sucks.
We have no choice but to begin bathroom renos at home here and I’m not looking forwrad to it. Old house and I am really sure it’s not going to be pretty. Oh well.
TK
April 19th, 2006 at 8:55 am
Sunday, Memorial Day weekend, 2005. The tub is draining kind of slow. Then the bathroom sink starts to back up.
We call RotoRooter (because we’d had success with them in the past).
They come out. “Yep, it needs to be rodded out.”
They start to rod. The water starts to flow like … er … water. Husband hears a “whooshing” sound in the basement, goes to investigate.
RotoRooter rodded out not the tub, but a hole through the tub’s drain pipe and into our basement. Tub, which had been about half-full or murky, sludge filled water before the rodding, dumps all of its contents into our family room. Some items were salvageable, but many books, papers, mementos were lost.
A new plumber is called. He comes out and surveys the damage of the previous guy. Notices that to replace the part that’s been rodded through, he has to cut through and move some HVAC ductwork. But he doesn’t have the tools for that.
Yet another guy comes out. He moves what needs to be moved, the other plumber replaces the broken pipe.
Yet Another Guy (I think this is what, 4, 5 guys now?) comes out to finish what RotoRooter started … rodding out the tub.
Husband and I finally get to shower on Wednesday.
Dooce, Blurb, and Lovely Leta Meter Maid, I feel your pain. I feel your smelly, wet pain, and I will light a candle for you and your plumbing.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:59 am
Oh god, this brings back flashbacks from my basement flooding nightmare. When I was in law school I lived in this townhouse where the basement would always flood during heavy rainstorms. During one of these (where it rained nonstop for literally 4 days), our sewer pipe flooded into our basement.
I’m still not quite sure how this happened, but somehow because of the rain the sewer pipe leading away from our house had begun to drain into our basement. It was about 3 inches deep on the floor. (gah) I won’t even describe the smell but it was raw sewage so I’m sure you can imagine. We had to live in the local holiday inn for a week while they cleaned up the mess and wet-vaced the basement. Everytime it rained hard after that there was always some kind of funky smell coming out of the basement.
I feel your pain man. I feel your pain.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:09 am
ew.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:10 am
Memories are being created in the Armstrong household, indeed!
April 19th, 2006 at 9:10 am
That hurts every man’s soul. I’ve seen a toilet look a lot worse though: a mixture of dried latex paint, crap, and some other unidentified materials all mixed together into a big stinky nasty melting pot. It took some work.
As a side note, you’re probably going to have to replace the fill valve in the downstairs toilet eventually. Those balloon’s have a tendency to break at the valve shutoff mechanism and cause the toilet to start running. And it will go forever if you don’t do something about it. Just thought I’d mention that.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:16 am
oh jeez, that completely sucks. and in so many ways. i have nothing but sympathy.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:24 am
Oh man. That is awful. I had something similar happen once, at first they told it was sewage that backed and began shooting out the drain in my bathtub/shower, but like you are explaining, they later told me it was not poop, just dirt. Thank god. Luckily for me at the time this happened I lived in apartment, which means the time to get someone out ther was bad, but in my case the Whip thing worked. No digging. Oh god. Good luck.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:32 am
Blurb,
I’m so sorry this happened. I wonder if Leta’s new ability of drawing a 6 is in preparation for her to spell out triple 6 - to describe the day you had.
My boyfriend and I had a similar day yesterday. He found out that he has to have both of his hips removed (he’s 30) and then he went home to find raw sewage in his basement. Simpatico!
I hope it gets better soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:34 am
I had a guy out a couple of years ago who started pulling out grocery bags full of roots from our drains. He was extremely proud of holding the record for pulling the longest root. I was totally on-board with the Root Guy because he was apparently quite good at his job and because I thought it was a hilarious feat. Long story short, he did a good job and didn’t ever have to come back. I hope your miserable situation at least provides you that satisfaction… that it wont be back anytime soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:40 am
Been there. Done that. Tell Heather to hang in there. The hell will be over at some point.
But since it happened, I’ve never taken a flushing toilet for granted. Always glad to see the water swirling away.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Oh you have my sympathies. I hope it all works out ok.
April 19th, 2006 at 10:22 am
My guess is that Leta’ drew one too many 666’s and it summoned the shit(-like substance) demons. Yes, let us all blame the adorable toddler.
April 19th, 2006 at 10:28 am
oh, yes, that so sucks! We have a 110 year old house in the country - so we have OUR OWN SEPTIC SYSTEM. And just this past Saturday, the drain field started to fail. Of course my husband says it is all the fault of “my” daughter who takes 45 minute showers. But I totally agree with the person who said if you plan renovations something will happen to screw it up. We are in the middle of completely redoing the kitchen. Life just kicks my ass sometimes.
But, at least I’m not dealing with root-canals and crowns, too! I really sympathize with that - I’ve had 4 of them and they are NOT FUN.
Good luck.
April 19th, 2006 at 10:32 am
oh man. i’m so sorry, guys. we had a similar problem recently, but after snaking all seems well. still, just the snaking (which took perhaps 1/2 an hour) cost us $350.
i think you both should put up a call for donations to the Armstrong Family Pooper Fund. i’d give!
April 19th, 2006 at 11:07 am
Home ownership rocks, doesn’t it?
We have an old farmhouse with a septic tank and a well. One day bathroom utilities are not draining, so I go outside and notice a pool of water in the grass behind the bathroom. Bring out husband and point to said pool of water. “That’s not right,” I say knowingly.
“Oh, that’s just a spring,” he says heading back towards the house.
I grab him by the collar and bring him back. “We have lived here for 15 years and there has never been a spring there before. That ain’t going to wash.”
Husband grudgingly goes to rental shop to pick up roto-rooter snake which magically evaporates new “spring”.
Tell Heather to cry all she needs to. It’s a great stress reliever.
You should have seen me when I saw the house we were trying to sell right after the creek rose and flooded it– the day before we were to close with buyers. Buckets of tears, I tell ya.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Have you looked into your Home Owner’s insurance possibly footing some of the bill?
April 19th, 2006 at 11:13 am
I forgot to add: this is why I now own a condo. No plumbing worries like what you have, no yard work to do. Much more money to spend on decorating.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:23 am
All was okay until you said Heather was crying. I have PMS and I quit smoking so I’m edgy, and that last line put me over into my own cry. (How pathetic am I?) Many sympathies to you. I hope it all gets solved very soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:27 am
Wow… I’m going in for a root canal today
Now i’m worried about my plumbing.. hope it’s intact when i get home.
Sorry to hear about yours.. that sucks, and it sounds like it just keeps sucking to a larger degree.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Oh Blurb, that just sucks donkey balls. It really does. Husband and I are currently facing an atrocious bill involving our flooding basement….which has to be fixed if we ever want the inlaws to visit….then again!
April 19th, 2006 at 11:44 am
Leta drawing sixes. Heh heh heh.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:53 am
I have always been terrified of toilets. I have my theories as to why. I once saw a cartoon where some little kid flushed himself. I was probably 4 or 5. It scared the shit out of me only not literally because after that I was afraid to do number one or two on a toilet after that.
Around the same time, my parents began flushing my dead goldfish down there as well. Since I was raised catholic, I kept thinking that they stood a pretty good chance at rising from the dead right at the very moment I sat down and swimming straight up my ass.
And then there was the time I fell on some railroad ties. I landed spread-eagle right down onto the wood. I cut myself all up. The first time I peed after that, it burned so badly I screamed. I didnít pee for an insanely long time after that. My mother had to dip my feet into hot water to get it to happen.
My mom actually sought medical head help for my toilet behavior. (Oh the jokes are a freaking blast now.) Toilets scare me. I have issues.
To this day a clogged toilet, even a mere grumble from below, will send me into a neurotic, face-slapping, tongue-swallowing frenzy. Tobyjoe has to take care of anything toilet related.
If something like this happened to me, I’d gather up the cats, open the front door, exit, and torch the place.
Poopers are freaking scary.
April 19th, 2006 at 11:53 am
I can’t believe I just admitted all of that on someone else’s Web site. Perhaps it’ll cure me. Yeah.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Oh sigh. This sounds exactly like what happened to us. We were very, very afraid, esp. when they brought in the digging equipment. The good news is that it cost less than we thought it would. The bad news is that it was still effing expensive. But now we can, as we say, Flush With Impunity. It’ll be ok. It sucks, but it’ll be ok. and sorry about the root canal issues. Plumbing is bad enough on its own without dental pain.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Ack! Good luck with all of this…
Hope it works out as quickly and cheaply as possible for you guys!!
April 19th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Oh man, I really feel for you. Two months after we bought our house, in the coldest January in years our downstairs toilet and our washer started backing up like that. We had to have a new sewer line put in from the house to the street. Apparently our old sewer line was really old, terra cotta pipes that were just crushed. It was a wonder anything was flowing through.
Needless to say after just buying the house and celebrating a meager Christmas, finances were not in the best condition for this.
Good luck! Sewer problems are the worst!
April 19th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
I feel for you guys.
As soon as we bought our house, the basement started to flood out of the canning closet that we call “the scary room” which had a dirt floor that had been laid with bricks.
After several years of random water in the basement, we got a quote from a roto service (about $5,000) and other from a handyman we know has a good repuations ($1,600).
Husband and step-son dig out the main sewer line under the house (12-year-old step-son said it was fun and he likened it to being a miner … a poop miner I told Uber-husband).
Handyman replaced a portion of the main sewer line for $200 - no more floods!
We love this guy more than most of our friends.
April 19th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Gah! NO!! I am so, so, so sincerely sorry. The joys of home ownership, eh? Our house is 8 years old, and apparently the 8th year is when everything DIES. We just replaced the springs in our garage door, bought a new clothes dryer, and need to do some pretty serious draining of our septic tank before we experience something like you are. In addition our dishwasher isn’t draining down the drain, but rather across the kitchen counter. Hmmm. The garbage disposal is ready to puke as well. And I think of this house as ‘new’ still.
I am crossing my fingers and sending good vibes your way!
April 19th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Has Chuck been writing awful poetry then ripping it out of his notebook and flushing the pages down the toilet because he couldn’t quite find the EXACT metaphor for anguish that he was looking for? Because you could buy him, like, a chalkboard or something instead.
Seriously, sorry about all the shit. I guess soil and debris happens.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Are Leta’s sixes in groups of three?
My parents’ house was built in 1912 on a tree-lined street, with ceramic sewer pipes. Many, many snakings of those pipes have been done over the 36 years they’ve been in it (some of which I had to help with). Tree roots, mostly, that seem to be incredibly strong when it comes to cracking pipes.
I feel for you (Chaka Khan Chaka Khan).
April 19th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
THIS WILL PASS!
Breath in, breath out!
When you are 82 you can not even remember this day unless you look it up in your blog!
It will ALL be OK!
xx
Tanja
April 19th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
In November we purchased a house. It’s pretty nice. Our payment, including utilities, is 4 grand a month.
We had a party for my fiancee’s birthday, which happens to be on December 31st. I always tell her the entire world celebrates her birthday with her. 14 people spend the night.
The next morning the lines are clogged and sewage is backing up into our bathtubs. Being as it’s New Years Day, it’s difficult to get a plumber. Finally one comes out. For an outrageous price.
He tells us the females that were at our house are to blame. He has to pull a toilet up and run his line into the system that way.
Two months later we have the same problem, but this time there have been no females around. Sewage is coming up in all three showers. It’s nasty.
Plumber comes out. Works all day trying to find the problem. Decides he needs the camera. Has to install something (a clear out or something like that) since he can’t find one. That’s another $350 to install.
Camera gets there. He finds the problem. It’s a root. It’s under our house. He has to climb under, dig it out (under the house) cut the root. Do something to keep it from growing back, and then patch the sewage line.
Massive bill.
In other words, I know how you feel. It sucks. Tell Heather that crying will not help but that you’ll send her to a motel if needed to get her away from the stress. A hotel with high speed internet.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
i feel you on the root canal issues - i had one a month ago and have been experiencing back pain ever since. went back in for 3 more fillings yesterday. i’m putting my dentist’s kids through college…
sorry about the back up…hope it gets flushed (pun intended) out soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Been there done that. 1910 house with side sewer issues, old clay pipes and gusher of storm sewer stuff in the basement. Did I mention the ugly carpet in the basement? We ended up having to replace our side sewer and though it was costly, it was done and not a problem for the last 14 years and we replaced our carpet with tile.
The next step is to have that side sewer reamed out once a year, whether you think it needs it or not. The sewer guys will appreciate your business once a year and you probably won’t need to see them for anything more expensive with preventative maintenance.
As for bathtime and Leta, its an adventure. Tell Heather it will be okay and there is always the gym for a shower.
Good luck with the tooth as well.
nazila
April 19th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Oh no. Oh no. OH NO!
I thought I was having a rotten day…well, I am but it looks like you are too.
My Mom’s mantra is running thru my mind for all of us: “This too shall pass…”
For our sake I sure hope she is right.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:09 pm
I empathize with your tooth issues–last summer I had a tooth root-canaled and learned about a little something called “referred pain.” In layperson’s terms, this is when the nerves have gotten confused and you wind up experiencing the pain in the wrong tooth. The healthy tooth. So: I had two root canals and two crowns in two months. And I didn’t even get a bulk discount. The dentists and the plumbers, man–they’re golden. Although I have to say, I wouldn’t want either job, which I guess is why they can gouge us so deeply.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Hopefully things will improve as you get closer to the weekend?
April 19th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Jeez. Sorry for your horrible situation. Just jumping in late to say that living in a new house wouldn’t necessasrily have made you immune.
A good friend of mine had a similar situation with her master bathroom–only their house (brand new in a new subdivision) had one of those master suites and it flooded that dark sticky substance all over the floor of the bath and bedroom. The upshot being that they had to go to a hotel for several days with their 2-year-old and 4 month old boys. Not fun.
Hang in there.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Dude, you are fucked and haven’t even been kissed.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Dj:
Went through this EXACT scenario last spring (minus the root canal, which occured at a completely different time!). My sympathies to you and the family.
Day 1. Water backs up in bathtub, laundry tub. Call roto-rooter. 175 USD later tells me they cannot undo clog. I am starting not to like this.
Day 2. Call Sewer dept, please god make it be there problem, not mine! They scope line from street to my property line. Result is beautiful sun-filled clean drain lines. Call the Underwater detective. They scope line from house to street. They offer to give me the VCR tape but since THE ENTIRE LINE IS UNDERWATER the tape is pitch black. Cost 225 USD. Frantically begin calling real plumbers.
Day 3. After securing a real plumber (defined as not having the name “rooter” and having a backhoe). The sewer guys come out and mark the ENTIRE STREET with the location of water and gas lines. I swear these markings remain to this day. The neighbors have a new love for me.
Day 4. Real plumber assures me that line will be replaced today, as soon as they are finished replacing the drain lines in a LOCAL MALL. I leave my house for work at 2:00 pm. no sign of plumbers. I couldnt even bring myself to call home to check progress. Arrive home at Midnight. There is a backhoe, bobcat and pickup truck in what used to be my front yard. They are working off the headlights of the bobcat!! but we have drainage!!!!! Cost=home equity loan, but I am sure you know this part. It took 4 months to regrade the front yard.
Again, my sympathies. I really do feel your pain. One point is thet at least with current code PVC drain line it will remain clog-free for your lifetime.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
OMIGAWDI’MNOTALONE!
Our house (also in Sugarhouse) is having major sewer lateral issues. The idjits who built these things put in a 4″ lateral that is SHARED between us and our neighbors to the east. 4″ is a minimum for a single household, not two.
So much for code back in 1925.
Anyway, our lateral has been messed with a number of times based on the TV job we did on it last year when it began backing up in earnest. Some sections are clay pipe, some are asbestos. All seams are broken. There is a gap about 1-1/2″ high that allows sewage through for both us and our neighbors. In the past year we’ve had the thing blown out three times. It ain’t getting better.
We’re facing having the driveway ripped up and the entire sewer line replaced out to the street. Because some of the sections of the pipe are asbestos, we’ll have to hire a HAZMAT crew to join the fun. If we get away with a $20k bill, we’ll be in fat city. The kicker is we had a new driveway poured a few years back which would have been a perfect time to examine the lateral (which runs under the driveway). I’m going to guess we could have shaved the cost of replacement in half had we thought about it.
So naturally we’re holding off replacing the lateral. I’d like to wait a while, like until after we sell the place AS-IS for a tidy profit and it’s no longer our problem.
Old houses in Sugarhouse have charm. Regardless, I’ll never, NEVER, purchase another ancient house again. New houses have problems but they can almost always be fixed with a trip to Home Depot.
Oh, and regarding the photos you posted of the carnage? The mess is too tidy and contained to make me wanna gerb. We find out our sewer is backing up when the basement floods through the floor drain. Picture a puddle spreading about 8′+ across the floor, soaking into your personal possessions, reeking like the charnal pits of hell. Our basement is probably a biohazard even now. Wowza…
April 19th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
Well, we can be pretty sure it’s not Heather’s fault. =)
April 19th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Oh man.. that’s horrible. So sorry to hear that… I hate it when stuff like that happens… Good luck with getting it fixed
April 19th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Simply put : Dude. DOOOD! That is all.
Best of luck getting it fixed!
April 19th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
About the time I was 12 or 13 my dad got really pissed off at me because *I* was really pissed off because I couldn’t take a shower.
Why do I remember that? Because he seemed totally nonplussed by the reason for my non-shower…. the shit coming up out of the shower drain.
That and my mom saying “there’s shit coming out of the shower drain…that’s why she’s angry!”
We got off the septic tank and connected to the sewer line conveniently placed in the street many years before, within a week.
But take heart in that the shit in your house will be cured in short order. The shit in the White House is still piling up.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Ah, I feel your pain. How many times, just in the last few years, has our house been overthrown by roots? Too many to count. And we even got rid of the tree that was causing the problem, and still! ROOTS!
April 19th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
Ugh, that is nasty and I am totally with Heather on this one. Sometimes a good cry is the only reaction left when confronted with sludge. yuck.
April 20th, 2006 at 6:37 am
oh my. i’d be crying too. hope everything goes well with your house and with your mouth!
April 20th, 2006 at 6:42 am
I totally sympathize. Our plumbing repair last weekend cost me about one month’s pay. So, yeah, it sucks.
April 20th, 2006 at 7:55 am
Clearly our house heard all this discussion and decided it would rebel yesterday. Our water heater has died. The hubby and I have been washing in cold water (although I am so going to shower at the gym tonight) When will the people be able to come out to give us a water heater? Monday. Monday. (sigh)
That’s what I get for mocking the housing gods.
April 20th, 2006 at 9:31 am
Ugh sounds like you have a hell of a weekend! Sorry to hear about the tooth and the huge problems with the drains. It’s awful whe you can’t poo in our own home.
I can sympathise, a similar thing happened at a studio where I once worked as a toliet had been illegally plumbed into a storm drain. One day after a particularily rainy week, torrents of vile liquid came flooding out of the toilet at such a force it looked like something out of The Exorcist! We had to run like crazy to hoist the animation cells out of the way of the deluge. Flooded half the studio. Pooh!
April 20th, 2006 at 10:22 am
wow, jon…i feel your pain (literally). I had the prep work done for a crown last wednesday and my jaw (and my tooth, occasionally, but I’ve managed to dull that with Tylenol) STILL hurts. What someone said up there about referred pain: all true. I also managed to get some lovely little ulcers.
The pain is wearing off, though…maybe yours will too? Sending “no root canal” thoughts….
Root canal and Roto-Rooter in the same day: waah!
April 20th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
A sucky situation indeed, I hope it’s going better now. And just why is it that stuff like this gangs up like it does? Dealing with this and dental pain at the same time, damn that’s cruel.
We too had drainage issues. The city folks were amazingly prompt and because the roots were on city property, by maybe 4cm, we didn’t have to pay. I have a suspicion though, that my SO giving the drainage guys coffee and cookies might have had something to do with exactly where the roots were located.
April 20th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
In case no one else suggested this, you might check with your cities’ public works department to see if any part of the replacement/repair is covered by them. Where I live, they have this thing called Lateral Insurance Program to assist with the costs of these types of things - I think they covered 80% of our costs for the lateral replacement and this was like 50 feet from the street. It was a savings account saver, I tell you what.
April 20th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Man that looks nasty. Can’t be easy having drainage problems of that degree (crosses fingers that we don’t have any at any point…). Good to know that the guys came out that quickly…you’d be lucky getting a plumber in the UK to come out the same day never mind in 15 minutes…
Good luck with it, hope it gets fixed soon! (Then at least you’ll have a new sewer line for the next couple of decades!??)
April 20th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Hang in there, guys. Although it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, you WILL make it through this.
Last fall we had an automobile accident, which was our fault, one month after we cancelled everything but our liability auto insurance.
Then the next week we went in to get my husband new glasses because one of his eyes was “fuzzy”, and we were immediately sent from the optometrist’s office to the hospital because he had a detached retina and was going blind.
Life is a very scary trip.
But hopefully this will make you smile.
http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
April 20th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
Reminds me of the pictures I have; my husband and his oldest friend were going to school in Provo. They had a really big back up of REAL sewage in their tub and toilet. Like, a tub full. My husband bet his friend $50 that he wouldn’t put his head in the sewage and blog bubbles. He did. I have the pictures to prove it. Another one of those “old houses”.
April 20th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
I feel your pain. Not to long ago, our basement flooded, except in our case, there it was…poo…just hanging around like it was supposed to be there, floating on a thin layer of sewer water on my basement floor. I try not to take for granted the fact that 99% of the time, I don’t have to see what goes down my drain ever again.
April 20th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Holy Mother of GOD. I would be crying too. It’s a nightmare. Ya’ll definitely need a break, a miracle something. I am starting to have tremors about what a mess that is.
April 20th, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Drain problems make me cringe. 2 months after I bought my house I had to have the driveway and half the front yard dug up to replace the sewer and storm water clay pipes that were too blocked with roots to allow the eel (root clearing thing) through. I still wonder what was going through the original owners mind when they planted pine trees on top of the lines.
my sympathies are with you. on the up side.. pipe replacement is a good reason to re-landscape.
April 20th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Yuck! That sucks.
That was an annual event at my previous house. It was always roots from the two huge trees in my front yard. After about five years we finally had to dig and replace the drain line. 40 year old house.
Now I live in a 130 year old house, with even bigger trees. No drain problems. Go figure.
April 20th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
you see this is what I don’t get. Why, when one part of our lives turns to shit (sorry) all the other parts feel so sorry for it they turn to shit too. I just don’t get it. Why can’t the tooth say, “wow, these guys are getting hit hard on the $$$ at the mo, I’ll just settle down for a couple of months” or the car, that has kicked along quite nicely thank you, decides “hey, the basements flooding, I might just stop working too!”
Suckville.
April 20th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
My top 10 list of bad would include plumbing problems, human waste within range of my senses and dental pain - to have them all at the same time is the type of hell I hope one finds only in Utah.
April 20th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
Yeah, that definitely sucks…
On the plus side, I can now read and comment on your blogs using my boyfriend’s brand spankin new MacBook Pro (insert close to orgasmic sighing sound in here….). And for me the best part about that is I got to see Chuck with the Ice Cream bucket on his head and just finished laughing my ass off at the rolling over trick. LOVE IT!!!!
Take care Armstrongs!
April 21st, 2006 at 9:25 am
I can really relate to your troubles. Some years ago when I was living the true bachelor life(I lived with four single females in a five bedroom “rustic” house. Being the only male in the house I was never surprised to get a ring on my cell phone from a frantic roomie that couldn’t seem to figure out how to fix something. Or so I thought I would never be surprised. One day when I was at work I recieved a call from all four frantic roomates screaming that our basement was “flooding”. Interestingly enough, the basement was watertight. It never leaked once! Well I hurried home because I was worried about the exposed wiring in the basement combining with the electricity to cause a much larger problem. When I got there i found six inches of “rain water” as the city called it. In the center of our basement was a three inch drain spout that allowed for any time water was spilled in the basement. Theoritically it would just dump that water into the cities sewer system. Apparently if it rains a lot this sewage pipe backs up into our basement. Rain water my arse. I actually saw things floating in that water. The only upside was that it was in the winter and the stench was kept minimal. Also we were put up in a hotel for the three days it took to pump out our basement. As a result our landlord had that drain pipe disconnected.
April 21st, 2006 at 12:27 pm
I’m glad that the haters are quiet right now because if there was ever a scenario that justified the revenue generating initiatives of the blurbodoocery it would be this one.
this is what’s called Real Life. I hope your diligent work and planning and general good karma bring about a good outcome.
April 21st, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Root canals.
Sewage.
It’s like the Perfect Storm.
April 21st, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Dude, that shit-like substance in the pictures is shit, that’s what “sludge” is. There might be dirt mixed in but it’s still shit. Plumbers and sewer people call it sludge so we’ll feel better. I once went on a girls’ weekend to Vieques, Puerto Rico, where we (I) managed to stop up the toilets with tampons. The plumber’s solution was to TAKE THE TOILETS AWAY. He said we could shit at the hotel up the road, but it was like two miles away so we ended up shitting in the yard like dogs. It’s times like those that reveal how much we take for granted…
April 24th, 2006 at 8:14 am
Weak. I guess you can always consider it an investment. If you decide to sell the house you can say “It’s got a remodeled kitchen and a new sewer line!”
April 26th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
so i know it’s not funny, because i know this situation is really NOT funny, but i can’t help but laugh! and i’m allowed to laugh because i had to go through something similar. except, i’m not married, i live with my 2 sisters, we have never been home owners before and we are REALLY really girly. so we came home to what looked sort of like your pictures, but worse. it was like shit exploded in the worst possible way. it was all over the floors, all in the shower, on the walls!!and seeped out of the bathroom into the carpeted room that it was connected to. i know it’s not shit, but it sure damn looks like it and it’s coming out of the toilet! how can you not have that association? anyways, we ran a cable through and the poor guy found the most disgusting stuff. he went to my sister and showed her this huge brown blob the size of his entire hand. do you know what it was? no, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS? it was a tampon that had expanded! so so disgusting. i am forever traumatized and am sort of harboring a bit of resentment for owning a home. and, i can’t help it - now that the bathroom is clean, the carpet is shampooed, i still call the room the “poo room” and i don’t think i can ever let one go.
April 27th, 2006 at 12:22 pm
When I was in 6th grade, we were having a Halloween party. It was raining. Hard. All of a sudden, the bathroom toilet began to gurgle. Next thing we know it started backing up. The entrie neigborhood’s sewer system backed up into my parents 3000sqft home.
The city said it was my parents fault for “buying a corner lot”.
It’s happened 5 times since then. I hate that house.