Worst Case Scenario
April 18th, 2006Nope. I’m not talking about the White House.
I’m talking about our house.
I had a root canal scheduled for today, but the dentist took some more x-rays and decided to let me try to medicate for a bit to be certain. Because the crown that he just put in on the tooth that might need the root canal may only need a few more days of anti-inflammatories to calm down. But the crown and the resulting stories from the pain are for another day.
What we are going to talk about today is shit. Or the line that the shit travels in when it’s supposed to leave your house. Doctors call it the sewer line. Ours is jacked about sixty ways to your favorite deity (or non-deity).
Here’s the timeline:
Tuesday of last week: We take DORJ! to the airport last week and the next day I notice some weird debris in the shower. At first I just thought it might have been DORJ!-related, but upon closer inspection of the basement area, realize that it’s not DORJ! related in the least. It’s a drain problem. I figure, hey, maybe it’s the wet spring. Maybe it’s just that the city drains are overwhelmed. Sure. That’s what it is. It’s not my problem.
Friday of last week: Leta goes to visit Grandmommy while Heather and I clean up the basement in preparation for a minor facelift we’ve been planning for a couple of years. New carpet, some tile, maybe a new vanity in the basement bathroom… maybe some new tile in the shower… Nothing too crazy, but enough to make us feel like the basement is ours again after the tumultuous teen years of our former Congressman dog turned goth. We get it done and I’m feeling like a million dollars. Except for the crowned tooth. That is kicking my ass. I’m barely able to stand it. Heather tells me I need an attitude adjustment. I agree and apologize. We have a visit from a landscaping dude to estimate what it’s going to take to de-ghettofy our front yard, which is an embarrassment to both Heather and I.
Weekend: I’m in tooth-related pain most of the weekend. Heather loans me some Neurontin. Just a half-dosage knocks me so hard on my ass that I’m pretty much useless until Easter Sunday night when I finally mow the lawn, because anything I can do to help the yard will be appreciated. The Easter Bunny is very pro-lawn care. There is an egg dye issue with Leta’s pants.
Monday: Snow storm. Disgusting. Heather and I are working in the newly clean basement when we hear this crazy gurgle coming from the shower drain. I immediately go and flush the toilet to make sure the drains are clean. It won’t drain. I plunge it. I hear noises in the shower drain and sink. Shit. Shit.
Shit.
I then decide to call the city. Maybe it really is the wet spring. They send out a sewer guy. He’s here in fifteen minutes. Broadband providers could learn a few things about service from the sewer people. Easy. It’s a related industry.
Today: Feeling a little better. Weather breaking a bit. Leta’s being really awesome and funny and jokey and starting to draw 6’s. With gusto. The day unravels when I notice that the toilet in the basement won’t drain after I flush it. It wasn’t even poop. I promise. Same gurgly noise. Same terror-stricken red flags popping up in my head. Trying not to think about root canal scheduled for 4:00 pm.
3:12 pm: Call one rooter service. They won’t quote a price on clearing the drain. Schedule them post-root canal. Decide to get opinion of plumber that helped us with the kitchen. Call. He doesn’t do rooting of any kind. But he has a guy.
3:16 pm: Call the guy. He says he can be out in about twenty minutes. He also gives me a basic quote and tells me that 90% of jobs are done in an hour or less. And that 80% of his business is in the older parts of town. Where we live. I have a twinge at this point. Kind of like a character in The Shining.
3:39 pm: Dude arrives. Gives me the lowdown. Tells me it might be roots. Before I moved to San Francisco in 1998, I rented a duplex in an older part of town that had to be cabled, so I know what that’s about.
3:53 pm: I’m in the car trying to make my dentists appointment on time. Not gonna happen.
4:12 pm: Arrive at dentist. Wait a few minutes, consult. Put on iPod to drown out the anxiety and noise. Turn it back down 28 seconds later to talk to the dentist. Walk out root canal-free with a couple of prescriptions for an anti-inflammatory and a decongestant. Sweet.
4:40 pm: Call Heather to let her know I’m going to try to fill the prescriptions before I come home. She mentions that the guy might have to work overtime/call in reinforcements. Since it’s only been an hour, I’m not too worried. I tell her I’ll be home in a bit.
4:58 pm: Realize I’ve forgotten my wallet as i walk into the store. I left it home. Before I left for the dentist. Brain power, people. BRAIN power.
5:03 pm: Ask the pharmacist to quote me on the meds, even though I’ve forgotten my wallet. Not too bad.
5:16 pm: Arrive home. Greeted with nasty sewage smell. Go downstairs and see some nasty… stuff. Not shit, actually, just bad things coming out of the drain. Dude is telling me it’s going to take awhile. He hasn’t seen it this bad in a few jobs.
5:35 pm: Fill prescriptions.
5:54 pm: Arrive home, check in with the guy. Not looking good.
6:00 pm - 7:43 pm: Chaos. Dinner, friends stopping in, girls screaming, heavy machinery operating in basement. Leta goes to bed without a bath.
7:58 pm: Reinforcements arrive. Dude has a trailer with a lot of hose. Hose not initially used. Just this crazy attachment called “The Whip”.
8:32 pm: They ran the cable, with The Whip, to the street. Still no drain action. Time for the hose. It’s referred to as jetting it out. One guy on roof, one guy running the pump, me monitoring the basement. I’m watching the shower drain and toilet to make sure it doesn’t flood.
It floods. A little bit.
Diagnosis: There is a huge fan somewhere between our house and the street. The sewer line has likely “bellied”. In probably several places. Which is why the cable and Whip could get to the street, but the water wouldn’t drain. And the several thousand PSI water line that couldn’t clear the drains.
They have to come back tomorrow and dig. Both the guys were very somber when they told us we were looking at a worse case scenario.
Here’s what our downstairs bathroom looks like:
WARNING GRAPHIC IMAGES OF SHIT-LIKE SUBSTANCE (Heather wants everyone to know that it’s not actually what it looks like or what you think it is. It’s sludge… soil and debris. Dirt from the damaged line. Honest.). DO NOT CLICK LINKS IF YOU ARE OF WEAK CONSTITUTION.
It’s not going to be cheap.
UPDATE: Heather is crying. o
April 19th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Oh sigh. This sounds exactly like what happened to us. We were very, very afraid, esp. when they brought in the digging equipment. The good news is that it cost less than we thought it would. The bad news is that it was still effing expensive. But now we can, as we say, Flush With Impunity. It’ll be ok. It sucks, but it’ll be ok. and sorry about the root canal issues. Plumbing is bad enough on its own without dental pain.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Ack! Good luck with all of this…
Hope it works out as quickly and cheaply as possible for you guys!!
April 19th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Oh man, I really feel for you. Two months after we bought our house, in the coldest January in years our downstairs toilet and our washer started backing up like that. We had to have a new sewer line put in from the house to the street. Apparently our old sewer line was really old, terra cotta pipes that were just crushed. It was a wonder anything was flowing through.
Needless to say after just buying the house and celebrating a meager Christmas, finances were not in the best condition for this.
Good luck! Sewer problems are the worst!
April 19th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
I feel for you guys.
As soon as we bought our house, the basement started to flood out of the canning closet that we call “the scary room” which had a dirt floor that had been laid with bricks.
After several years of random water in the basement, we got a quote from a roto service (about $5,000) and other from a handyman we know has a good repuations ($1,600).
Husband and step-son dig out the main sewer line under the house (12-year-old step-son said it was fun and he likened it to being a miner … a poop miner I told Uber-husband).
Handyman replaced a portion of the main sewer line for $200 - no more floods!
We love this guy more than most of our friends.
April 19th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Gah! NO!! I am so, so, so sincerely sorry. The joys of home ownership, eh? Our house is 8 years old, and apparently the 8th year is when everything DIES. We just replaced the springs in our garage door, bought a new clothes dryer, and need to do some pretty serious draining of our septic tank before we experience something like you are. In addition our dishwasher isn’t draining down the drain, but rather across the kitchen counter. Hmmm. The garbage disposal is ready to puke as well. And I think of this house as ‘new’ still.
I am crossing my fingers and sending good vibes your way!
April 19th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Has Chuck been writing awful poetry then ripping it out of his notebook and flushing the pages down the toilet because he couldn’t quite find the EXACT metaphor for anguish that he was looking for? Because you could buy him, like, a chalkboard or something instead.
Seriously, sorry about all the shit. I guess soil and debris happens.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Are Leta’s sixes in groups of three?
My parents’ house was built in 1912 on a tree-lined street, with ceramic sewer pipes. Many, many snakings of those pipes have been done over the 36 years they’ve been in it (some of which I had to help with). Tree roots, mostly, that seem to be incredibly strong when it comes to cracking pipes.
I feel for you (Chaka Khan Chaka Khan).
April 19th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
THIS WILL PASS!
Breath in, breath out!
When you are 82 you can not even remember this day unless you look it up in your blog!
It will ALL be OK!
xx
Tanja
April 19th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
In November we purchased a house. It’s pretty nice. Our payment, including utilities, is 4 grand a month.
We had a party for my fiancee’s birthday, which happens to be on December 31st. I always tell her the entire world celebrates her birthday with her. 14 people spend the night.
The next morning the lines are clogged and sewage is backing up into our bathtubs. Being as it’s New Years Day, it’s difficult to get a plumber. Finally one comes out. For an outrageous price.
He tells us the females that were at our house are to blame. He has to pull a toilet up and run his line into the system that way.
Two months later we have the same problem, but this time there have been no females around. Sewage is coming up in all three showers. It’s nasty.
Plumber comes out. Works all day trying to find the problem. Decides he needs the camera. Has to install something (a clear out or something like that) since he can’t find one. That’s another $350 to install.
Camera gets there. He finds the problem. It’s a root. It’s under our house. He has to climb under, dig it out (under the house) cut the root. Do something to keep it from growing back, and then patch the sewage line.
Massive bill.
In other words, I know how you feel. It sucks. Tell Heather that crying will not help but that you’ll send her to a motel if needed to get her away from the stress. A hotel with high speed internet.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
i feel you on the root canal issues - i had one a month ago and have been experiencing back pain ever since. went back in for 3 more fillings yesterday. i’m putting my dentist’s kids through college…
sorry about the back up…hope it gets flushed (pun intended) out soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Been there done that. 1910 house with side sewer issues, old clay pipes and gusher of storm sewer stuff in the basement. Did I mention the ugly carpet in the basement? We ended up having to replace our side sewer and though it was costly, it was done and not a problem for the last 14 years and we replaced our carpet with tile.
The next step is to have that side sewer reamed out once a year, whether you think it needs it or not. The sewer guys will appreciate your business once a year and you probably won’t need to see them for anything more expensive with preventative maintenance.
As for bathtime and Leta, its an adventure. Tell Heather it will be okay and there is always the gym for a shower.
Good luck with the tooth as well.
nazila
April 19th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Oh no. Oh no. OH NO!
I thought I was having a rotten day…well, I am but it looks like you are too.
My Mom’s mantra is running thru my mind for all of us: “This too shall pass…”
For our sake I sure hope she is right.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:09 pm
I empathize with your tooth issues–last summer I had a tooth root-canaled and learned about a little something called “referred pain.” In layperson’s terms, this is when the nerves have gotten confused and you wind up experiencing the pain in the wrong tooth. The healthy tooth. So: I had two root canals and two crowns in two months. And I didn’t even get a bulk discount. The dentists and the plumbers, man–they’re golden. Although I have to say, I wouldn’t want either job, which I guess is why they can gouge us so deeply.
April 19th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Hopefully things will improve as you get closer to the weekend?
April 19th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Jeez. Sorry for your horrible situation. Just jumping in late to say that living in a new house wouldn’t necessasrily have made you immune.
A good friend of mine had a similar situation with her master bathroom–only their house (brand new in a new subdivision) had one of those master suites and it flooded that dark sticky substance all over the floor of the bath and bedroom. The upshot being that they had to go to a hotel for several days with their 2-year-old and 4 month old boys. Not fun.
Hang in there.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Dude, you are fucked and haven’t even been kissed.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Dj:
Went through this EXACT scenario last spring (minus the root canal, which occured at a completely different time!). My sympathies to you and the family.
Day 1. Water backs up in bathtub, laundry tub. Call roto-rooter. 175 USD later tells me they cannot undo clog. I am starting not to like this.
Day 2. Call Sewer dept, please god make it be there problem, not mine! They scope line from street to my property line. Result is beautiful sun-filled clean drain lines. Call the Underwater detective. They scope line from house to street. They offer to give me the VCR tape but since THE ENTIRE LINE IS UNDERWATER the tape is pitch black. Cost 225 USD. Frantically begin calling real plumbers.
Day 3. After securing a real plumber (defined as not having the name “rooter” and having a backhoe). The sewer guys come out and mark the ENTIRE STREET with the location of water and gas lines. I swear these markings remain to this day. The neighbors have a new love for me.
Day 4. Real plumber assures me that line will be replaced today, as soon as they are finished replacing the drain lines in a LOCAL MALL. I leave my house for work at 2:00 pm. no sign of plumbers. I couldnt even bring myself to call home to check progress. Arrive home at Midnight. There is a backhoe, bobcat and pickup truck in what used to be my front yard. They are working off the headlights of the bobcat!! but we have drainage!!!!! Cost=home equity loan, but I am sure you know this part. It took 4 months to regrade the front yard.
Again, my sympathies. I really do feel your pain. One point is thet at least with current code PVC drain line it will remain clog-free for your lifetime.
April 19th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
OMIGAWDI’MNOTALONE!
Our house (also in Sugarhouse) is having major sewer lateral issues. The idjits who built these things put in a 4″ lateral that is SHARED between us and our neighbors to the east. 4″ is a minimum for a single household, not two.
So much for code back in 1925.
Anyway, our lateral has been messed with a number of times based on the TV job we did on it last year when it began backing up in earnest. Some sections are clay pipe, some are asbestos. All seams are broken. There is a gap about 1-1/2″ high that allows sewage through for both us and our neighbors. In the past year we’ve had the thing blown out three times. It ain’t getting better.
We’re facing having the driveway ripped up and the entire sewer line replaced out to the street. Because some of the sections of the pipe are asbestos, we’ll have to hire a HAZMAT crew to join the fun. If we get away with a $20k bill, we’ll be in fat city. The kicker is we had a new driveway poured a few years back which would have been a perfect time to examine the lateral (which runs under the driveway). I’m going to guess we could have shaved the cost of replacement in half had we thought about it.
So naturally we’re holding off replacing the lateral. I’d like to wait a while, like until after we sell the place AS-IS for a tidy profit and it’s no longer our problem.
Old houses in Sugarhouse have charm. Regardless, I’ll never, NEVER, purchase another ancient house again. New houses have problems but they can almost always be fixed with a trip to Home Depot.
Oh, and regarding the photos you posted of the carnage? The mess is too tidy and contained to make me wanna gerb. We find out our sewer is backing up when the basement floods through the floor drain. Picture a puddle spreading about 8′+ across the floor, soaking into your personal possessions, reeking like the charnal pits of hell. Our basement is probably a biohazard even now. Wowza…
April 19th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
Well, we can be pretty sure it’s not Heather’s fault. =)
April 19th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Oh man.. that’s horrible. So sorry to hear that… I hate it when stuff like that happens… Good luck with getting it fixed
April 19th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Simply put : Dude. DOOOD! That is all.
Best of luck getting it fixed!
April 19th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
About the time I was 12 or 13 my dad got really pissed off at me because *I* was really pissed off because I couldn’t take a shower.
Why do I remember that? Because he seemed totally nonplussed by the reason for my non-shower…. the shit coming up out of the shower drain.
That and my mom saying “there’s shit coming out of the shower drain…that’s why she’s angry!”
We got off the septic tank and connected to the sewer line conveniently placed in the street many years before, within a week.
But take heart in that the shit in your house will be cured in short order. The shit in the White House is still piling up.
April 19th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Ah, I feel your pain. How many times, just in the last few years, has our house been overthrown by roots? Too many to count. And we even got rid of the tree that was causing the problem, and still! ROOTS!
April 19th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
Ugh, that is nasty and I am totally with Heather on this one. Sometimes a good cry is the only reaction left when confronted with sludge. yuck.
April 20th, 2006 at 6:37 am
oh my. i’d be crying too. hope everything goes well with your house and with your mouth!