Children and Timing
May 2nd, 2006Since getting back from Austin back in March I haven’t been running at full speed. Heather would argue that since I began working from home, I’ve been plagued with colds and bad mucous and a bad humour on certain days. And she would be right. After hemming and hawing since mid-March, I finally made a trip to the doctor. I brought Leta so Heather could have some quiet time and because I am insane. I thought it would be perfectly fine to have Leta with me at the doctor’s office, because she could see that it’s not always bad to see the doctor.
They threw us into a room with toys and a small table. Leta was doing great until about three minutes in. I had decided to let her play while I looked at a car magazine, the kind I never look at but reserve for moments like these. I look up and I notice she’s making some noise that doesn’t sound good. I can hear the doctor outside the room, and then the smell hits me. Perfect like a violin concerto in your high school cafeteria during a food fight.
I factor in the time it will take to run to the car and grab the wipes and a diaper, plus the noise from yanking Leta away from the toys would cause and any additional waiting time for a diaper change. Before I can decide to fight or flight, the door opens.
“Uh…. Hi, I’m Jon and this is Leta. She’s chosen the perfect time to….” Before I can finish, the doctor says, “Poop?”
We finished the exam/appointment amidst the fresh, clean and spring-like scent of soiled Huggies. And now I get to let the Ambien® take over. Apparently, installing a new sewer line, having to pay for it out of pocket and having a kid have a blowout in a public place entitles me to sleep like a god. o
May 2nd, 2006 at 9:59 pm
That’s a great story
I love Ambien, used it a few times myself for the rare occasion I can’t sleep. But be aware:
..if you see strange empty plates in the kitchen sink in the morning, they are probably yours. Ambien has been known to cause people to eat during the night…and the people cannot remember they did it.
But you do sleep like a god.
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:31 pm
Oh Jon, I’m only assuming Ambien is a sleep-aid. I do hope you get the sleep you need! Is the sewer situation almost over?
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:57 pm
Jon. If Ambien works for you, I’m totally jealous. My doctor prescribed it for me in January for a recent trip to the Philippines, and it knocked me out for a straight TWO hours. That wasn’t a typo.
So! Tylenol PM is my drug of choice. Especially because I can take it without a prescription, which means that I CAN TAKE HOWEVER MUCH I WANT.
I’m TOTALLY responsible with it, though. I only consume a bottle a week.
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:17 pm
You know, I’ve never tried Ambien. I’m an insomniac so I’ve tried all sorts of “fun” stuff but like Jes above, I’m mostly a fan of the Tylenol PM. I suffer from arthritic pain so it calms that and allows me to sleep for at least 3 to 4 hours straight, which is a veritable miracle for me.
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Count your blessings and your days. My lovely daughter mortified my husband when she was 2 1/2 in a clothing store. She tripped and stood up wailing “I HURT MY VAGINA!” Gotta love potty training and teaching kids the correct anatomical words…
May 3rd, 2006 at 1:02 am
Nighty night!
May 3rd, 2006 at 5:54 am
Sweet dreams. It’s great stuff. Make sure the food is under lock and key, that is the latest side effect. Hypnotic night eating - sounds like a great way to raise some money for the sewer line repair. Just make sure Dateline or something like it will come and film your weight gain….
Helpful hints from H.
May 3rd, 2006 at 5:58 am
Sleep tight and feel better, Jon.
jes - be ye careful with that Tylenol PM. The PM part is just benedryl, so if you’re taking it often consider buying just benedryl to keep your liver from getting nibbled away. (Tylenol PM gives me a hangover but it certainly puts me to sleep!)
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:17 am
Hope you feel better soon. Sweet dreams, keep the nighttime munchies at bay!
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:17 am
I’m partial to trazodone which helps you get to sleep. It doesn’t keep you asleep, but my problem is getting to sleep in the first place. It’s generic so it’s cheap, too. And according to my doctor, it’s non-habit forming.
Yeesh, I sound like a commercial.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:46 am
Love the title tag on the link. Made me snort is the most becoming fashion. Sweet dreams.
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:47 am
Here’s a thought. Since working from home, your head was not used to the certain dusts and other “things” in the air and you are having allergic reactions. Therefore, sick a lot. I used to travel a lot in my former life and always got “sick” after I returned home. (Am sick now after visiting my sister’s house with her dusts and animals danders that my body isn’t used to-b/c I have plenty o’ dust and dander in my own house).
It’s the germs our bodies don’t know that create the most havoc. Your body will build an immunity. Sooner than better for you I hope.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:00 am
Sometimes sleep is all you need.
*I always forgot to carry diapers with me. We had a blow out at the doctor which was humiliating as a result.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:08 am
Jon,
Nice story. Be careful with the Ambien. I found them to be a little bit more than to help me get to sleep.
Anyways..did the doctor give you the Ambien CR? It is controlled release, and works a lot longer.
Sleep tight!
Shannon
P.S. This is my first time posting, but I love dooce and blurbomat!
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:17 am
Couldn’t you have just put her little butt on the doctor’s table with the butcher’s paper on it and then turned the crank to wipe her butt?
Yeah. This is why I don’t have kids.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:27 am
That scenario is one of the classic parental moments. Especially the whole mental calculation of whether to change or not to change: how smelly is it? Does the child already have a diaper rash or will they be fine with poop on their butt for a little while? Wet or dryish poop? Location of changing supplies? Likely reaction of bystanders? Cooperation level of child that day? Wind chill?
As far as Ambien - it is great stuff. Be aware that it has a rebound effect, so if you take it for more than one night in a row, and then don’t take it…that first night you stop taking it you will definitely have trouble sleeping. That being said, I took it every 2nd or 3rd night when my daughter was small, and just getting enough sleep a couple times a week was enough to make me feel much better.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:28 am
Can I just say……love the pink ears!
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:30 am
Ambien didn’t work for me (would not keep me asleep). I also had weird things occur like talking to people and not remembering it the next day or finding my bookmark much further in my book than I could remember reading. I switched to trazodone and am a big fan. You can take a very wide range of doses of it - more to sleep longer. I’ve been told it is one of the safest sleep aids available. Good luck and get some sleep!
May 3rd, 2006 at 11:00 am
As a child I 1) told my grandfather to f**k off, 2) loudly enquired why a woman on the bus was black, and 3) told my doctor about the medicinal marijuana use frequented by a family member. Good times.
Children do have great timing.
Personally I love the ads for Ambien. Only good stuff can come of a drug with luna moths in their commercials.
May 3rd, 2006 at 11:02 am
You know…Tom Cruise could fix that poop with vitamins and meditation.
But seriously, enjoy the Ambien. If you take it too early before going to bed though, you may see trails. Or maybe that was just me…
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:45 pm
My dad took Ambien for a while. He became the most social jovial being between taking it and passing out. We would have fantastic conversations . . . that he would remember none of.
This was a frequent saying: “Dad said WHAT? Wait, had he taken his Ambien?”
Tell Heather not to get mad at you when, just before bed, you cheerfully offer to regrout the shower (or whatever) first thing the next morning and the next day have no idea you said that.
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Geez, been waiting for some acknowledgement from you about Steven Colbert and the Press Dinner, but maybe you’re working up to it? At least there are some related ads on your site.
May 3rd, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Great post and love the comments! I can’t stop laughing at the story by “oromat”… I’m wiping the tears from my eyes!! It reminded me of the time our bodypart training came back to publicly haunt us as well.
After wetting his diaper at the grocery store, my little guy greeted our aisle mates with a hearty “Hello Penis Friend” as we passed. We were certain we’d be met by the social services people as we exited the store.
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:01 pm
My kids have had the blessed skill of pooping every time I bring them to the doctors. I think it’s related to stress. But it really sucks because my pediatrician’s office insists that you take your dirty diapers with you, so I get to walk out with a stink bomb in my bag. Yay.
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Ambien is a bit weird. My husband did strange, strange things on it. He would take it and then forget to go to sleep, essentially sleepwalking around the house and saying weird shit to me and the dog. Kind of funny, kind of scary. I posted about it under Ambien Amnesia on my blog. Hope it helps you get some much-needed rest!