The Price of Victory
September 21st, 2006dooce: Almost worse than clogs
Beware the cost of winning. While I don’t think licorice is worse than clogs (there is a public v. private debate to be had), the health benefits and cost of using licorice as opposed to expensive and addictive laxatives weighs heavily toward licorice as a viable solution. Plus, I win. o
It matters none what the benefits of [black] licorice may be. The substance is really reconstituted TAR, with sugar added. It is putrid, nasty, disgusting, vile, heinous, creepy, nauseating, repugnant, odious, offensive, execrable, wretched, and hideous.
It is just plain FOUL.
And to foul up a sweet baby like Leta’s breath with such atrocity is tanamount to abuse. I’m calling CPS. Oh wait. I don’t know where EXACTLY you live. Scratch that.
Ew, I say. EW!!!
Hm. Love clogs. Not a fan of black licorice. But I’d totally rather eat black licorice than eat a Croc.
For what it’s worth.
Love crocs.
Love black licorice.
Will you adopt me?
I love that you’re up front and out in the open with the, “I win” aspect.
How can anyone say such about manna from the gods?
I guess, to be honest, that some folks were born seriously lacking the finer appreciation for black licorice, my husband being one.
I think we need to find black licorice clogs.
Kudos, Armstrong. I’m picturing Leta and you skipping down licorice lane in your matching licorice-coloured clogs.
The real test will come in the future to see if she can hold her Oozo/Raki. I know I am waiting with baited breath. It worked for my Dad.
Hope that your giving Leta the sugar free organic kind of licorice!
I’ve loved black licorice since forever. It is the best taste on earth! Whole Foods had a black licorice cotton candy once and I died on the spot because I knew there was a god.
I used to work at a popcorn store that made black licorice popcorn.
Do you drink the Stash Licorice tea?
So. good.
Congratulations on your win!
I completely agree with the clogs. I love them. But black licorice is the most vile, nasty substance I have ever had the displeasure to put in my mouth.
The debate of who will win in the Clogs Dispute is next, isn’t it.
I mean, if black licorice has caused this much angst for Heather, can you imagine the day Leta looks over at your feet and says, “Crocs, please.”?
It may very well be armageddon in the Armstrong household.
Therese. Take your accent loving ways up with Typekey.
I threw up just reading about your black licorice. You owe me a new keyboard.
Black licorice is the shit… pun intended for the newly improved functionality of Leta’s plumbing.
everything ain’t for everybody though, which is why I can forgive Dooce’s licorice hatred.
but(t) really, isn’t a little licorice breath worth the avoidance of having to manually extract calcified turds from the business end of a tortured and screaming toddler?
You win. Another benefit to the very idea of the flavor of black licorice is that it tastes good even when drinking beer. That might be the argument to sway Heather…
Licorice is allright in moderation (even though it tastes like evil) but it carries many side effects, both positive and negative. Depending on the level of glycyrrhetinic acid it can reduce birth control pill effectiveness, raise bloodpressure and cause hormonal imbalance. Pregnant women are not to eat it as it can induce labor.
Just another reason why M&M’s are the bestest forever and ever, amen.
No, *you* take my accent loving ways up with typekey.
Jôn.
Wow, Heather hates both licorice AND anise? My two most favoritist (is that even a word?) flavors in the world. I love black jelly beans, all sorts of licorice – Sambuca (Anisette liqueur)in my coffee after dinner- have you ever tried double-salted black licorice? Mmmmmmm – to die for (find a Dutch store and ask – it is soooo good).
man, poor Heather – that’s ok, though – that’s what makes us all great – we are all alike in that we are all unique. Be really kinda boring if we all liked the same things. Agree with her on the croqs, though – I like clogs, but those plastic things? gross