It Just Don’t Quit
May 2nd, 2007This move has been the longest in terms of time invested and one of the shortest distance-wise since one of my cross-town moves in college. The San Francisco move of my crap from a friend’s garage on Fell to Stanyan/Carl in ‘98 doesn’t count because I was sleeping on the floor of his music room for only a couple of weeks. But I mention it because I moved all my crap in a half day and did it all by myself. It wasn’t a tenth of the crap that we have now, but I’m always proud of what I got done that moving day. And I’m proud of not busting a scrotal vessel.
In contrast, this move just doesn’t seem to end. I still can’t find critical cabling or connectors. I cannot function without my cables and connectors.
I think this move was compounded by our combined OCD levels of leaving our old house better than we found it and doing a bunch of renovation work on the new house in the middle of trying to move in.
The garage is still full of crap. I’d post a picture, but it’s too embarassing. I’m waiting for a knock on the door from a neighbor to ask if we’d like to donate the contents of the garage to charity.
In terms of saying goodbye to the old house, I was having regular moments of awwwww until the buyer’s inspector caught a couple of mis-wired plugs that our inspector hadn’t caught when we bought the place. When I was fixing the outlets, I smacked my head a few times on the basement ductwork causing a few special daddy words. George smacked his head a few times as well, but he didn’t use special daddy words. I realized that my awwww moments would be less about the house we have left than the memories we made there. My head definitely doesn’t miss the old house. We brought Leta into this world in that house and endured a lot of pain, love, growing and sweetness. It was the first house that either Heather or I had owned and we loved living there.
Yesterday we had the walkthrough with the buyer’s realtor and I just couldn’t see us living there now. This new house is starting to feel more and more like our place. And I’m loving the light in this house. It’s just so different to have large windows that let a ton of light in. I was feeling pretty good this morning. And then my wife up and left for San Francisco to get her ovaries charged by holding Hank Mason. The next months will be difficult for our family as Heather fixates on ways to convince me it is time for another child in the house. I don’t have ovaries, but that Mason kid is helping me grow a pair. If it keeps up, maybe Heather and I can have a baster baby, lesbian style…
We’re trying to hold it down here, but with Leta’s attitude and George’s fatal attraction to ESPN, I’m in way over my head.
While we do semi-secretly employ George, as his supervisor, I can’t control his off-the-clock time like his cousin can.
As much as I want Heather to have a great time in San Francisco, it’s getting harder and harder to wrangle Leta solo. Leta has a special bond with Heather that I’ll never fully understand. Heather can simply say a few words quietly and Leta will calm down a bit. I’ll try to muster all my Peace Process/SALT/Kyoto negotiating power, but it’s difficult when one realizes that a three-year old works on entirely different levels than the diplomatic corps. I’m going to have to hone the zen master inside me and use the power of calm assertive energy. And time outs. And black licorice for good things.
And bourbon at the end of each day. I miss you already, baby. o
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May 2nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Congratulations on the new house, Jon. From the pictures I’ve seen, it’s a beaut.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:58 pm
Lovely post.
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:19 pm
What a strange coincidence. My wife is out of town until Friday (no ovary re-charging necessary) and I’m in charge of the whole world as well. All seventeen children and the pet rabbit and homework and the dishes and getting people out the door in the morning. Evening One went OK, but I was supposed to get some work done and needless to say, that didn’t happen. But we had a really fun time, so it’s all good.
And I have a zilion cables and connectors. Whatchoo need, man? I’ll hook you up.
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:41 am
My husband subscribes to the guppy theory of family growth: you will have a family size in proportion to your living area. You are doomed, having moved into a bigger house.
Better you should keep George at your house until Heather goes through menopause.
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:03 am
Three is the new two. I think people say “terrible two’s” because it rhymes better. Three is definitely much worse. Congrats on the new house. Remember, moves are just reasons to buy new stuff that you can’t find. It’s the only way to actually find something since you’re guaranteed to find the original as soon as you buy a new one.
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:48 am
I can vouch that age three blows monkeys when compared to age two. We went through the two’s and I thought “wtf is everyone complaining about, this is easy”. Then three hit us like a sock full of nickels. Hopefully it will pass before I run out of tequila.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:10 am
I find cookies work best. Not for the kid. For you. Lots and lots of cookies.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:14 am
I really have to stop reading things like this. You see, we’ve just ticked over into the third trimester and I am, for lack of a better word, a worrier. [That glass isn't half full, or half empty. It's probably poisioned; I'm not touching it.] I think 3 years of anticipating the toddler trauma is going to kill me.
Congrats on the new digs and good luck with the solo child wrangling.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:51 am
Oooh, and now GEORGE! will need work… he can be you unemployed cousin/live in baby sitter!
Chuck can come live with me.
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:49 am
Coelcanth, you know where you are? You’re in the jungle baby. You’re gonna die~!
Seriously, start stockpiling booze.
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 am
Lovely house!
And your new office is especially bee-yoo-tiful.
May 4th, 2007 at 8:55 am
I think it’s a male thing.
We have 3 kids now - the middle one - Bella - is 20 months now and totally ignores anything I say to her or ask her to do, unless it’s in a elevated tone. She seems to thrive off the stress patterns in my voice. My wife can get her to do pretty much anything - while I and up a gibbering wreck at the bottom of the garden, covered in juice, half eaten crackers, snot and other childlike substances. Bella can smell fear at 20 paces.
kidsmom - I think you’re right. I want to move to a bigger house, but I’m worried that in the end, it will lead to a bigger family. I think if we do, I’ll insist that the new place has separate wings so that at some point in my life, i could get just a little more sleep!
May 4th, 2007 at 11:27 am
You are so sweet, I bet you’ll do just fine with Leta and always remember, if kind words and hugs don’t work, a Nyquil/Benadryl cocktail WILL.
Be strong Daddypants.
May 4th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone….
We moved down the street 2 years ago, and it was the most difficult move, physically speaking, I’ve ever made. Perhaps it’s just because I’m too old to do this.
Congratulations on the wonderful new home, hope all the renovations/changes go smoothly.
May 7th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Y’know, I think the close moves are worse than the far away ones because you end up not packing stuff the way you would if you were getting in a moving truck and doing it that way.
And I have to agree with the bigger house, more people thing. Although I will caveat it by saying it does not have to be more children, per se. It could be adult children, or kids you are taking in because there is some hardship, or it could be people you are letting stay at your place for a while, a la GEORGE!, OR….(and this is the scariest of possibilities, believe me!) you could begin collecting “stuff”. What stuff, you ask? Well, anything and everything! My parents purchased, in 1982, a large victorian style home that has 5 bedrooms, a large living room and dining room, a den, a kitchen with a breakfast area and a butler’s pantry, a large foyer with an almost equally large upstairs hallway, 2 rooms on the 3rd floor…PLUS attic and basement storage space. This used to house themselves, my brother and myself, plus 3 additional ‘adopted’ kids. Since all the kids have moved out, they have proceeded to fill the entire house with ’stuff’. There are websites about this, they are called “hoarders” and don’t think because you are OCD that you are immune, because that is EXACTLY the type of thing that gets you in this sort of mess to begin with! You get all OCD about not throwing stuff out and it begins.
Okay, I have hijacked this comment enough!
I love your new home! Keep the decorating! I am green with envy over it!