En Route
June 15th, 2007It’s time for my yearly Exodus with JB and McQueen. We’re meeting up in the middle of Nowhere, TN to stay in a cheap motel and drive to Almost Nowhere, TN and hear a band that I’ve waited 25 years to hear live. We will be at Bonnaroo as middle-aged men; white, pasty and clinging to the last shred of youth. We are terrified of the crowd and we are only en route; we have yet to experience the mad rush of the young, free, sweaty mass.
In order to prepare, I decided to plan the trip at the height of my hay fever and get one of the worst colds I’ve had in years. Awesome.
McQueen and I have completed the first of three legs: Salt Lake City to Las Vegas. Currently, we are a few miles above the browns of the U.S. southwest. Our hope is to pilgrimage to Hatch Show Print, look wistfully at the drawers of wood and metal type, buy a couple of treats, snap some shots and bail after rush hour to our rendezvous point with JB.
* * *
Several years ago, I gave myself the moniker Grandpa Gear. I was sitting on the side of a mountain at Mammoth ski resort in California, cursing my crappy snowboard bindings and having one of those uncomfortable moments of fusion wherein one realizes that he has become his father. And not in a good way. I have five siblings, money was tight in my youth and my dad couldn’t spring for the best of gear for any sport. Skiing involved at least 30 minutes of griping about shit gear. And that was before I could get a word in. My first ski boots were leather, when plastic boots had clearly shown the way. Lacing those up meant a lot of grimacing and pain. My right foot has a hard time getting into certain kinds of boots. Those first pair were of that certain kind. My dad also insisted that a certain brand of ski binding was the safest ever and that we all used them, even if they released at the slightest thought of mogul. It deeply affected my skiing style so much that to this day, on a snowboard I still slow down before a blind slope or rise. Incidentally, those super safe bindings lead to the end of my father’s ski career when he had a spiral fracture from a slow fall. On my youngest sibling’s first day on the hill. She also retired for 15 years before her first husband could persuade her back up.
After that trip to Mammoth I vowed that I would not be like my dad and that if I were going to get involved in a hobby that required gear, I’d make sure my time on the hill wasn’t spent fighting boots, bindings or cold hand protection. Combine this with the fact that Heather and I did a massive purge of our obsessively collected bags over the years and it meant that I had to go shopping for the trip. I needed a small computer/carry-on bag as well as a day pack that would hold up for twelve or more hours a day under Tennessee sun. I also needed a hydration bladder larger than the one that crapped out on the last trip with McQueen and JB. My Father’s Day came a little early.
I was all excited about my newfound compact carry-on (when Heather and I travel, I have a wheeled bag that holds both of our laptops and is a thick beast) until this morning when at the skycap, I was informed that my checked luggage was overweight and I’d need to lighten up or face fees. I pulled out the camera bag from the luggage to be checked and have had to lug around two bags. Awesome.
One would not be forgiven for asking why one individual with a semi-large check-in might be over the weight limit… I brought a portable stereo. Because we aren’t going to have enough music at the venue. We need a constant barrage of aural assault. I might have done a better job of alliteration in that last sentence.
I have forgotten to bring:
-Cold Remedies
—Ibuprofen
—Benadryl
—Acetaminophen
—Nyquil
-toothbrush
-hat (I’m thinking something in the NASCAR line)
-sunscreen. Yep. Takes a certain kind of smart, there.
I think we’re flying over Oklahoma now. I can faintly make out the leftover broken dreams of the dustbowl era. Did I mention that I discovered I’m wearing my underwear backwards? o
Tags: aural assault, bonnaroo, bonnaroo 2007, festival, music
-
This entry is filed under personal, travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You may leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed. Please read the Terms of Service before leaving a response.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Me thinks I’ll be seeing that same band in July in St. Paul, MN. What’s your favorite song? “When the World is Running Down” gets my vote.
June 15th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Since I live waaaay up here in Canada, Bonnaroo will not be a desintation for me. I’d love to check out Paolo Nutini, the Scottish soul-ster, and am extremely jealous that you get to. Have fun!
June 15th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
you’re gonna be in my ‘hood! i love hatch show print. it’s one of the only good things about broadway. enjoy yourself - i’m jealous of each and every bonnaroo-goer.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Have a blast! My husband and I have been twice and were fortunate to stay with his cousin about 9 miles away.
A few other things to mention about Bonnaroo:
Purchase the above mentioned items AND handiwipes, lip smack with sunscreen (you’ll thank your lucky stars), and a bandana to wipe the sweat. Please know you will have the worst port-o-let experiences of your life, so brace yourself and try not to breathe while in them. Be grateful you are a man and can get in & get out relatively quickly. BE VERY GRATEFUL! You might feel out of place in the NASCAR hat and if that is the case, check out the many vendors selling hats there. Actually, strike that. Not much would make a person feel out of place, so just go with what makes you comfortable. Not only will you experience an aural assault but your eyes may never see sights like those again. Unless you go back. Bonnaroo has Yee-Haw Industries Letterpress, a great print vendor selling handmade posters as well, so seek them out, in addition to your foray to Hatch. Pick up something special for the wife and child, because after hanging with 95,000+ other sweaty, dirty people in the hot TN sun for three days, you will be even more grateful to have them in your lucky life. People are great there and the vibe is clustered, but relaxed. Last year a person under some crazy kind of influence(s) walked out on the highway in broad daylight only to be hit and killed by Ricky Skaggs’ tour bus. One onlooker was quoted in the paper as saying, “There are worse ways to go than to be hit by Ricky Skaggs’ tour bus.”
June 15th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
I can recall one particular trip to the snow that did not go well with me…I wore jeans and had no snow boots, ironically the person forgot to inform me we were even going into the snow. I’ve worn my underwear inside out…not backwards…well yet at least.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
It has to be spademan bindings to which you refer. My Dad took me skiing for the first time when I was in the sixth grade. Rented gear… spiral fracture, 6 months in a cast.
June 15th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Have fun, enjoy the trip! If you get into trouble with any of the locals just remember, “WWF, Nascar, Jesus, and Natural Light”.
June 15th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I waved at you from this God-Forsaken State(Oklahoma). Moving to Portland OR, in 2 weeks.
June 15th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
My envy goes with you — I saw them on their last tour. I’m assuming you’ve seen this Stewart Copeland blog entry (via Waxy)? They’ve surely got the kinks worked out by now.
Congratulations on the bag. I finally managed to buy a new camera bag after only 72 hours of ridiculously focused on-line research.
June 15th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Envy here, too. I’m still in mourning over missing last year’s Bonaroo: Beck, Elvis Costello, and Radiohead all on the same night.
Damn.
June 15th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
But do you have your Crocs?
June 15th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Jon-
DO NOT MISS MICHAEL FRANTI AND SPEARHEAD.
I saw them last year at Grassroots Festival in Trumansburg, NY (before my move to Alaska) and they CHANGED MY LIFE. Buy their disc “Yell Fire!”
June 15th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Of course Widespread is always good, too. And String Cheese. My friends saw Ben Harper in Boston last year and said it was great.
I’m depressed now. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try to see Spearhead.
June 16th, 2007 at 3:07 am
Backwards underwear would be a wonderful band name!
June 16th, 2007 at 7:28 am
hydration bladder? canteen? have fun at bonnaroo- many, many of my friends are there right now. last night, i looked up bonnaroo tags on flickr and there are already pictures up of the sweaty masses. i envy you seeing the police.
June 16th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Thanks for the tips and pointers everybody. McQueen had a bandanna and his foresight lead myself and JB to pick up our own last night.
Franti & Spearhead = fantastic
June 16th, 2007 at 10:27 am
So glad you caught them - I woke up smiling in Fairbanks this morning and now I know why! I can feel that positive energy you speak of from here.