Comments on: Mourning the Unknown http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:23:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: GoGo http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-22273 GoGo Tue, 13 Nov 2007 03:37:31 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-22273 I thought I'd share some myth busters: There is nothing wrong for feeling sad about a loss. There are no equations to define how much one grieves based on who had it worse than you in the formula. One can grieve and celebrate life's continous momentum, neither detracts from the other. How we feel is a reflection of the care we have for the soul that past, not a definition of weakness. Glad you shared. Hope you don't judge yourself too hard if grief lingers for a time longer. ~GoGo I thought I’d share some myth busters:

There is nothing wrong for feeling sad about a loss. There are no equations to define how much one grieves based on who had it worse than you in the formula. One can grieve and celebrate life’s continous momentum, neither detracts from the other.

How we feel is a reflection of the care we have for the soul that past, not a definition of weakness.

Glad you shared. Hope you don’t judge yourself too hard if grief lingers for a time longer.

~GoGo

]]> By: annette http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-22173 annette Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:50:42 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-22173 beautifully expressed. i am so sorry for your loss. beautifully expressed. i am so sorry for your loss.

]]> By: UndoneLady http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21989 UndoneLady Sat, 27 Oct 2007 02:38:14 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21989 Thank you. My mother just passed away October 3rd from a long battle with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She was 60 years old. It is amazing how you have put into words what these last few weeks have felt like in making decisions and living my life. It has changed. Please know you and Heather are in my thoughts everyday. Thank you. My mother just passed away October 3rd from a long battle with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She was 60 years old. It is amazing how you have put into words what these last few weeks have felt like in making decisions and living my life. It has changed.

Please know you and Heather are in my thoughts everyday.

]]> By: southerngirl http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21979 southerngirl Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:36:26 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21979 "I must move forward " That's the key to life-- plowing forward through the shit and the grief. But it's also stopping to see the sunsets and the flowers and the friends and family who love us, and to make sure we dance at a moment's notice, sing loudly along with the radio, and laugh out loud as frequently as possible. The phrase that carries me through life is from Desiderata-- "Surely the universe is unfolding as it should". Even if we don't have a blankety-blank clue why. Southerngirl, who is slowly recovering (mentally and physically) from running her beautiful, new Toyota RAV 4 into the back of a dump truck. (sigh) The only fun thing about THAT adventure was when the policeman who worked the accident walked up to my broken car and said, "I really like your "Stewart-Colbert 08" bumper sticker. Where can I get one?" “I must move forward ”

That’s the key to life– plowing forward through the shit and the grief. But it’s also stopping to see the sunsets and the flowers and the friends and family who love us, and to make sure we dance at a moment’s notice, sing loudly along with the radio, and laugh out loud as frequently as possible.

The phrase that carries me through life is from Desiderata– “Surely the universe is unfolding as it should”. Even if we don’t have a blankety-blank clue why.

Southerngirl, who is slowly recovering (mentally and physically) from running her beautiful, new Toyota RAV 4 into the back of a dump truck. (sigh) The only fun thing about THAT adventure was when the policeman who worked the accident walked up to my broken car and said, “I really like your “Stewart-Colbert 08″ bumper sticker. Where can I get one?”

]]> By: Kate http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21978 Kate Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:34:53 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21978 p.s. I lost a baby girl, it'll be 25 years ago this December.. I still remember the day, the circumstances.. I still at times stop and wonder who she would be today.. why did it happen. I still move forward.. but she was a part of me and so she goes with me. p.s. I lost a baby girl, it’ll be 25 years ago this December.. I still remember the day, the circumstances.. I still at times stop and wonder who she would be today.. why did it happen. I still move forward.. but she was a part of me and so she goes with me.

]]> By: Kate http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21977 Kate Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:32:05 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21977 You and Heather are both very strong people. I appreciate how you both are willing to share what is happening/has happened in your lives, with all of us who read your blogs. Moving foward can be painful and difficult, sometimes trudging slowly, but progress being made.. I think that's the key. And you both are making progress whether you know it or not. And no matter the circumstances of the loss... it's still painful and yours.. and you have the right to grieve it. It doesn't mean anyone elses loss is any less significant.. just that yours is siginificant too... to you.. and to all of us who read about it. Kate You and Heather are both very strong people.
I appreciate how you both are willing to share what is happening/has happened in your lives, with all of us who read your blogs.

Moving foward can be painful and difficult, sometimes trudging slowly, but progress being made.. I think that’s the key. And you both are making progress whether you know it or not.

And no matter the circumstances of the loss… it’s still painful and yours.. and you have the right to grieve it.
It doesn’t mean anyone elses loss is any less significant.. just that yours is siginificant too… to you.. and to all of us who read about it.

Kate

]]> By: Sarah http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21976 Sarah Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:13:16 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21976 Grief, sadness, is valid. Comparing your pain to others isn't fair, and I think you know this. Only way through it is *through* it; feeling it. This is a beautifully written and, as others have said, a heartfelt post. I wish you and Heather strength and healing. Grief, sadness, is valid. Comparing your pain to others isn’t fair, and I think you know this. Only way through it is *through* it; feeling it.

This is a beautifully written and, as others have said, a heartfelt post.

I wish you and Heather strength and healing.

]]> By: Bella Rum http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21973 Bella Rum Fri, 26 Oct 2007 08:10:29 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21973 I recently read a similar post on another blog. It was posted by a grandmother whose daughter-in-law had miscarried. She had already endowed her future grandchild with hopes and dreams. Like you, she had questions about how sad she should be when others had suffered more. I'll tell you what I told her. It's your pain and you don't have to diminish it, qualify it or explain it. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish for you and your wife a healing that will help you to move forward. Thank you for an insightful and revealing post. I recently read a similar post on another blog. It was posted by a grandmother whose daughter-in-law had miscarried. She had already endowed her future grandchild with hopes and dreams. Like you, she had questions about how sad she should be when others had suffered more. I’ll tell you what I told her. It’s your pain and you don’t have to diminish it, qualify it or explain it.

I’m sorry for your loss. I wish for you and your wife a healing that will help you to move forward.

Thank you for an insightful and revealing post.

]]> By: blurb http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21972 blurb Fri, 26 Oct 2007 06:17:49 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21972 Thanks, everybody. For another take on miscarriage: http://www.hchamp.com/other/archives/001265.html Damn. Hugs to the Chawazeks. Thanks, everybody.

For another take on miscarriage:
http://www.hchamp.com/other/archives/001265.html

Damn. Hugs to the Chawazeks.

]]> By: Amy http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21971 Amy Fri, 26 Oct 2007 01:28:53 +0000 http://blurbomat.com/archives/2007/10/24/mourning-the-unknown/#comment-21971 Jon the rawness of this post is really touching. It must be so hard to grieve over something that you never knew, that you can't say remember the time when and laugh through your tears at the happy stuff. Instead it's all the awful what might have been's. As we all know time will heal but until the day comes when it's not so bad just cuddle Chuck. Dogs know. Love to you and Heather. Jon the rawness of this post is really touching. It must be so hard to grieve over something that you never knew, that you can’t say remember the time when and laugh through your tears at the happy stuff. Instead it’s all the awful what might have been’s.
As we all know time will heal but until the day comes when it’s not so bad just cuddle Chuck. Dogs know. Love to you and Heather.

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