Solo Weekend
February 11th, 2008While Heather’s been on a real vacation in San Francisco, I’ve been holding down the fort at HQ. It hasn’t been too difficult, but Leta definitely is starting to play us against one another. Whenever I’d tell her no or that we were not going to do what she wanted (which is frequently), she’d start in with “But I need my mom.”
Sure you do kid, but guess what, if mom were here, SHE’D AGREE WITH ME. Which I actually said a few times, but in a nicer way, then in a meaner way and finally I would just move on and we’d have the meltdown, etc.
For the most part, Leta did very well over the weekend, as did Coco. However, the first night without Heather was a doozy. I’ve completely forgotten what having a puppy in the house means. Here’s the timeline of the first night:
7:30 pm: Leta goes to bed with little ceremony, but she is asking for her mom pretty much constantly. We don’t normally stay in bed with her, but I do for a few minutes (she wasn’t asleep) and then we did the bedtime drill and she was fine.
3:00 am: Coco whining in her crate. I shush her. She only whines in the middle of the night if she really needs to go. I shush her again and wait to see if she’ll go back to sleep.
3:03 am: Coco needs to go out. I wait a full minute after she stops whining before I open the crate and we rush outside. On our way, Coco is whining so loudly, Chuck appears from his public access all night goth show Barkula’s Vault to make sure everything is okay. Coco does both kinds of business transactions. It takes awhile for her to poop because she’s a two-stager. First stage drops immediately, but second stage drops take much longer to work out. I’m trying to have good energy about taking a puppy out at 3 in the morning, but deep down, I’m not doing so well. I took her out three times (30 minute intervals) before going to bed last night and she only peed once. No poop. Finally second stage drops.
3:20 am: Coco goes back in the crate and I go back to bed.
4:30 am: I fall back asleep (finally).
6:36 am: Coco is whining again. I shush her. She doesn’t stop and we do the 3 am drill again. Massive dump. What is this dog eating? Neighborhood kids?
7:08 am: Leta is awake.
I really didn’t get a moment of quiet or calm until 13 hours later and found that if I kept moving, I was able to maintain control pretty well. Managing the kid and the puppy is a delicate dance of when to direct, when to leave alone, when to assist, when to discipline and when to comfort. I don’t know how people do it alone, I really don’t. Here’s to all the single parents out there; you are amazing.
I can’t wait for Heather to return. Can’t. Wait. o
Tags: housebreaking, single parenting
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February 11th, 2008 at 11:19 am
At least you guys waiting until Leta was 3 to get a puppy. We got our puppy when my daughter was 6 months old. I can’t tell you how stupid that it. Luckily we got an Italian greyhound and they can run really fast … or she’d probably be dead.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Dude, right there with you. writing this w/ 1 hand. Toby is in San Diego for work. I am alone w/ 6 month old. Up half the night because for some reason he didn’t want to sleep for longer stretches than 1 hour. I finally gave in and let him sleep with me. Woke up covered in baby pee. Things are NOT pretty here at the Boudreaux household.
Needless to say, things are falling apart. Cat box is overflowing. Haven’t showered. Barely ate. Stir crazy. It’s FREEZING in nyc today.
Single parents must take drugs.
I’m barely holding this shit together. Seriously.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:26 am
check out the Solid Gold dog food. It’s made from Bison. We switched our German Shepherd puppy and there is much much less waste. Really helped with housetraining. I wish we had it for our other dogs over the years.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I went out of town for a much-needed girls’ weekend, leaving my husband with my six-year-old and special needs four-year-old. I swear I saw genuine tears in his eyes when I walked in the door - and HE got a full night of sleep. Kudos to you for making it happen for your wife!
February 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Oh my goodness Jon - I hope you get some sleep tonight!
I totally feel ya, but have no advice. Perhaps you can wait t’il Heather comes home to feed Coco? What in God’s name is Barkula’s Vault?
February 11th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I was in the hospital for emergency surgery two weeks ago and my beloved was going solo. He posted somewhere about learning in that week how hard single parents have it, but, uh, a) our daughter uses the toilet and we have no pets b) my parents kept the Toddler Queen each afternoon after school and fed them both dinner every night and c) the dishwasher and trash weren’t unloaded the entire week.
That aside, and having been single for the first 12 years of my son’s life, I feel safe saying that it is a heck of a lot harder to drop from team player status to going it alone than it is to be a single parent straight through. Props to you for making it through with Leta and the puppy.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I feel your pain for the past 6 months now. My wife works in Kansas City and our home is in Atlanta. I’m at home with the dog and 4 year old. I swear our 150lb dog is a teenager at times. He can be more demanding than the 4 year old ever thought of being.
I just wish my mom was still around to thank and ask her how she did it all those years without going nuts! Amazing!!
February 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
wow, do i understand. we recently got a six week old dachshund, so young because his mother passed away. of course because of the tragedy he was not weened properly. it has been such a trial, it is like having an infant– last night it was to bed at 11pm, up and out at 2:30am, up and out at 2:40am, lots of whining and screaming, up and out at 6am. by then i gave up and let him sleep with me because i have the flu and rest is more important right now… i can’t imagine actually having a child and a puppy, my heart goes out to you.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I’m a single mom of two boys, 9 and 5.
Life is hectic enough getting the 2 of them to school, tennis, t-ball, choir and piano lessons. And we do church once a week, too. Therefore, we have a cat. They have begged for a dog for years. I almost gave in at Christmas. Reading your blog and Heather’s blog daily has me thanking God, every single day, that I didn’t.
Someone said single parents must take drugs. I like mine in liquid form, thank you very much. Captain Morgan is a GOOD friend of mine.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Kudos for making it through. I often felt like a single mom in the early years. Hubby and I worked different shifts. I had banker’s hours and he worked evenings and weekends mostly. Lost ridiculous amounts of sleep due to poop patrol and just forcing myself to remain conscious for the precious few hours with the person I had actually planned to share my life with. It was tough, but we made it through. So many stories lost to my pre-internet days.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I was a single mother with twins and a bichon that refused to be house-broken; I just drank a lot. A whole lot.
February 11th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I have a 2.5 yr old and 8 month old twins, people. One baby? I could do that with one hand tied behind my back. Our cat is truly a pain in the ass, but, jesus, remind me never to get a goddam dog.
February 11th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
http://tinyurl.com/236v98
February 11th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
And WHY do we have dogs? What is the deal with that? They aren’t herding our sheep or guarding our horses. Not at my house, anyway. I have four kids and finally, after thirty-one years of constant mothering, they are all finally mostly moved out and on their own. And yet- I have these FOUR dogs now that pretty much make my life as crazy as the kids did. Again I ask- WHY?
Whenever I’d ask myself why I had all those kids, I could answer my question by remembering- oh yeah, I had unprotected sex. But with the dogs we consciously went out and got them.
I guess the answer to “why” is…insanity.
February 11th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
One trick to having small compact dog poop is the quality of dog food. I’ve fed my Jack Russell terrier Iams dry dog food all of his life since puppy-hood. He’s now almost 18 and still hanging in there… although he’s now blind and sleeps about 23.5 hours per day. Hang in there!
February 11th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m a single mom and have been for 7 years. Oh and my son is 7. So you get the idea.
Married couples with children often say to me “I don’t know how you do it” and my response is, “I don’t know how to do it any other way” I think it’s worse for parents who are married or a couple when one leaves because then you can feel the void. For me, it’s just like breathing. I don’t know how to NOT do it.
Now, the only time I ever feel sorry for myself is when my son is REALLY sick and it’s the middle of the night and I’m alone trying to figure out what to do. Then I wish I had someone. Luckily (knock on LOTS of wood) that hasn’t happened too often.
Long story short, nice job this weekend! Take a bow. Really. Do it!
February 11th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
believe it or not being a single parent isn’t that hard, it’s harder for you because you are used to having Heather there (and she you!!!) so it is far far harder when you’re missing your support mechanism. I know I’ve been in both places. With animals that were not born of my body.
February 11th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
As adorable and precocious as Leta is, reading yours and Heather’s blogs reinforces every single day that I don’t want to have children. Luckily, my husband and I are in accord.
I don’t want a puppy, either. The cats can poop on their own.
February 11th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I agree blurb. last year my better half had the chance to go on a cruise to the bahamas with a couple girlfriends… all she needed was air fare,.. so I bought her a ticket and said have a wonderful vacation. relax. have some drinks. be selfish.
a week alone with the 6 year old is enough to make you appreciate the tasks that a mother takes on.
all the best to you and your family.
February 11th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Jon~ My husband was laughing in agreement when we read this. He has stayed home with our daughter since her birth almost 8 years ago. He totally agrees with you on the difficulty of it all. He and I agree that he definitely has the tougher job (and I am a Child Protective Services Social Worker!) Anyway, you are an amazing man to hold the fort down while Heather has some girl time. My husband always likens his full time dad duty as being at work with a grouchy, bitter boss with a drinking problem - no breaks to even pee alone!!!! Anyway, I’m happy to hear you made it and I agree with those who say that it is harder for those of us who have done it so long as a team to then have to go it alone, because we have our routine down - our rhythm etc. Millions of people are single parents, but it still baffles me that people can do this alone!
February 11th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Try Hills Science diet, if you aren’t already. Better dog foods are much better than those grocery store brands. Sadly, I found out after one of my cats died from the food, but it has been a good lesson and it has helped, depsite the cost.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I remember when I had #3, terrible labor, emergency c-section, baby issues. etc. And all my husband could talk about was HOW HARD HE HAD IT AT HOME (you know, doing what I did every other day of the kids’ lives). There I was, in a hospital bed having gone through hell and back with a baby in the ICU but HE HAD TO WAKE THE KIDS TO TAKE THE DOG OUT AT 11PM. I could have killed him. What is it with men?
But I am envious of people who can just open a door and let a dog out. I love living in NYC, but getting halfway dressed and taking the dog downstairs and outside is a pain. Esp with a puppy when you do it ten times. Or when you have a kid upstairs that you don’t want to leave alone even for 5 minutes.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Sing it, brother. Sing it loud!
February 12th, 2008 at 10:41 am
lol
glad you made it through
but seriously dude,
like you would even admit it was not that hard to do if it was
you would be in worse trouble
reminds me of an episode i saw on reruns
Andy and Opie do just fine the week Aunt Bea is gone
Rush around and try to make messes so she doesnt FREAK OUT that they were not FREAKED OUT that she was gone
Dude no way if the weekend was a breeze shhhhhh no one needs to know….kid didnt ask for mom….shhhhh…..of course she did ALL THE TIME
February 12th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Buddy, you and I had the EXACT same weekend. It’s almost eerie. My wife was also in San Francisco for her work conference (NADA) and I was left with my two boys (5 1/2 and 2 1/2) from Thursday night to… right now actually. I pick mom up tonight.
We also have two dogs and my lab is the biggest baby on the planet. Of course he whistles and whines to go out when I’m at the most delicate moment of putting my 2 year old time bomb to sleep. The slightest move would awaken the terror for another 30 minutes to an hour.
In short… I feel your pain!
Greg
Austin