Prozac Nation
February 28th, 2008I’ve held a largely internal debate whether or not to talk about this publicly. However, given the responses to my posts regarding living with depression and with the idea of being more open, I’m going to share.
Given the amount of stresses that we’ve endured since 2004, I thought it might be helpful to look at a brief presentation:
click image to launch presentation
The decision was not made lightly and the professionals don’t think I’m chronically depressed. I started talking 20mg of Prozac a day after we returned from San Diego. o
Tags: depression, presentation, prozac
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February 28th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Good for you for taking care of yourself and your family (who will benefit as much as you do from the Prozac)! It’s obvious that you don’t have any of the hang-ups or attach any stigma to seeking help when you need it. However, it’s still really hard to take that first step. Hope the Prozac works for you. I’m more of a Lexapro gal myself, but hey, chemistry.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
your openness means more, and helps more, than you can know.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Welcome to the dark (or is it light?) side, honey. I had the inner battle four years ago, when I was pregnant with #2. I just couldn’t do it on my own. I thought I was weak. I thought I was caving. I was actually pulling my head out of my butt. I still struggle. I think I’m feeling better, forget to take my meds and tank. Then I remember (again and again) that it’s okay to ask for and accept help. I hope your stress levels level out soon.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Yay! Seriously, virtual friend, better living through chemistry. I’ve been on zoloft for a few years, and it helped me get through near fatal sleep apnea, two masters degrees, and caring for elderly parents (sequentially, not consecutively) for 13 years now.
It’s a sign of the times. There’s no need to suffer, especially when the bit of help will make your organs and psyche last longer, your marriage survive, and your daughter be surrounded in love and calm parenting (relatively speaking).
The dogs are on their own–they relieve stress and give it, both in spades, I note.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
P.S. I agree with what Sarah (no. 5) says about the sun. It makes a huge difference with me and S.A.D. Cheers!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I don’t really get the presentation. solo parenting? you mean for a few days here and there? selling a house 10x more stressful than a child not walking? stress = depression? anyway, 20mg is such a small dose. hope it helps
February 28th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Cute. Roll with it, life is better than the alternative.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
P.S. have you tried St. John’s wort?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Best of luck to you, sir. I don’t know if I’d be here w/o my meds. Wellbutrin works best for me, but we’re all different.
I’m glad the Prozac is helping you. And thanks for doing your blog.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I took Prozac for a while. It gave me vertigo and wouldn’t let me sleep, so I ended up taking Zyprexa at night.
Eventually I left all that behind and found a new lover: Valium. Wonderful stuff. Keeps my rage and intolerance in check, and yet no medicine-head or any other side effects. Also, people actually like me now.
Good luck. You deserve a break, you’re a good guy.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Not to make light of your situation, but I loved the presentation
On a serious note, reading about Heather’s struggles with depression, and now reading about yours, has been a tremendous help to me. I have dealt with depression, anxiety and (slightly) obsessive-compulsive tendancies my whole life; before I was ever aware of what any of that was.
I’ve been on meds off & on for the past several years, and last August, I went off Zoloft when I became pregnant. For the first month, things were okay, and then I felt myself slipping away. Slipping away into a very dark place. I spent the next several months depressed with increasing thoughts of hurting myself. I am incredibly lucky that I didn’t lose that teensy bit of logic left in my brain that stopped me from acting on it. Some days, reading Heather’s stories were the only thing that kept me going ~ knowing that things WILL GET BETTER. Reading your post of what it’s like to live with a depressed spouse made me wish my husband was as understanding as you. He was as understanding as I think he could be, but some days, it wasn’t enough.
Those months were hard not only for me, but for my husband, my family, and my poor dog. My husband, I hoped, would see that all the craziness wasn’t directed at him. But my dog, he had no idea. He heard the screaming, the yelling, saw me throwing things, and he would curl up in a ball with his back to the living room and his ears pushed back in fear. It was so hard to see how my behavior was affecting everyone around me, but it was hardest to see my dog so helpless & thinking he had done something wrong.
I would scream at my husband to just leave me, that I wasn’t fit to be a wife or a mother. Thank God he kept telling me he wasn’t going anywhere.
I wondered every day why life was so much harder for me than it ought to be; why I couldn’t just “get over it” and be happy. I have since made peace with the fact that for some people, it is out of their control. And that’s why there are chemists and pharmaceutical companies.
I finally decided that I couldn’t continue to live that way, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the remainder of my pregnancy. I had known in my heart that what I was going through was far worse on my baby than any potential harm the Zoloft would do to her, but I still felt like a failure at life.
I cried in my doctor’s office, still unsure of my decision. My doctor, who had suggested numerous times I go back on meds, convinced me that at 26 weeks, my baby would be just fine.
Within a few days, I felt like me again, and damn, it felt good to laugh. It’s been a few weeks now, and I haven’t once regretted my decision. Feeling good & being able to cope with daily life can’t possibly be wrong.
Jon, good for you for recognizing we can’t always do it on our own. You do what you need to do ~ for your health, and for the health of your family. You & Heather are lucky to have each other, and I appreciate all of your talents & your ability to be honest with the world. Best of luck to you ~
February 28th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I read you through Heather and I have to say that after all you guys have been through this doesn’t surprise me one bit. You do what you have to do and I am glad to know they don’t think it is permanant.
Since I can’t walk away without nagging just a bit….. PLEASE use caution if you drink. Found out the hard way with my sister that Prozac and alcohol is a bad mix for some people. E-mail me and I will point you to my sister’s journey if you want to know more.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Thanks for your honesty.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I just read through everyone’s comments, and feel like yelling at those who suggested that your stress wasn’t worthy of you being on meds. Yes, we all have stress, but some brains are wired to handle it better than others. Period. Who are they to judge?
Again, I say good for you, Jon. I sincerely hope you feel better. Just know that your honesty helps the rest of us.
I also re-read my post….sorry for the long rambling. I have found that in sharing my experiences, the more I find I’m not alone. I hope you now you’re not alone in this, either.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:35 am
I am going to give your permalink to my class so they can see what presentation media should look like! And wow, was that ever honest. Awesome job!!!
February 29th, 2008 at 1:02 am
prozac sounds good to me.
but i vote also for a day of boarding next time i’m in SLC.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:27 am
Your post — and Heather’s — was part of what helped me go to a psychiatrist in January. I was convinced that I should have been “tough enough” to ride out the stress in my life, even when it was clear to everyone that I was well beyond stressed out and in a downward spiral. I felt the same as a lot of people here, feeling weak or out of control because I needed the drugs. But you know, I was more out of control when my depression and anxiety kept me from getting out of bed until noon, or made me think I was actually going to destroy my life. Lexapro and good therapy have saved me; so has taking time to heal, even though I’m not used to being good to myself. You were a big part of getting me to take those first steps. Be kind to yourself for me, and thank you for helping me realize that sometimes the meds are exactly what we need to become ourselves again.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:26 am
Been there. Am there.
At least there’s this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7268496.stm
February 29th, 2008 at 3:55 am
It’s amazing how you put up something so honest and it brings out so many comments. Obviously, it’s important that we bring the topic out of whispers and instead speak about depression openly and without judgment. You’re doing a really good and important thing.
Also? Just my opinion but…between the Prozac, the onset of spring and your sense of humor, I think you’ll be okay.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Hey, good for you. I took Prozac and i felt like a million bucks! One warning though, it really played havoc with my stomach. I was not able to eat or even smell food without getting sick. Granted, i lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks and looked like da bomb! BUT, i had to stop taking it because being human, i really needed to be able to eat. I do hope it works for you. Good luck with it.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals!
You HAVE read that the placebos are just as effective? Are Tic Tacs cheaper?
Me=Zoloft, and Lexapro
February 29th, 2008 at 8:08 am
You know I am on board. I have often wondered to myself how you guys manage it all with such grace. I am also glad you all have each other, spouse, Leta, puppies, and beautiful sunsets. I think this is a really positive stress. People often miss what the spouse is going through in such situations, I know that happens in our little family.
xo
February 29th, 2008 at 8:39 am
So, are you under the red-line now? or at least under 25% stress? It is great that you are taking care of yourself, both of you ..
Hmmm.. I thought dogs were supposed to RELIEVE stress .. maybe in a year or two? I bet you appreciate Chuck alot, and has he become a snuggle-bunny yet?
February 29th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Good for you!
I have been on Prozac for years and will continue to be. I couldn’t function normally without it. Or maybe I could but who wants to take the chance?
Thanks for being so open and honest and bringing this issue to the fore front. I appreciate all that you and Heather do for this issue.
February 29th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Celexa is the magic elixr for me. Sometimes pharmaceuticals can really do the trick. When everything is out of control, it certainly makes sense to give medications a shot. Here’s to feeling better, Jon. And warm wishes to your whole family…even GEORGE!