Stress, Depression & Me
February 29th, 2008Since coming out yesterday as being on Prozac, I thought it might be good to answer a few questions that were in the comments. Before I go there, I’d like to thank you all for your support and encouragement. I’m not sure I’d be doing as well without this site and without amazing readers. Thanks so much, it means the world to me.
Another thing you should know is that I’m seeing a therapist again and it’s going well. Talk therapy is really a good part of getting better.
I’d like to mention that yesterdays post is supposed to be funny. As such, there are a lot of other things going on that I’m not going to write about publicly. It is those non-public things that are larger contributors to my state. And specifically, my response to those non-public things.
Questions:
The first was along the lines of: “So you have stress. Big deal. Everybody has stress. You are saying that stress lead to depression? Give me a break.”
I’ve done a ton of reading over the years about this both for myself and to help me understand the best I can what Heather goes through.
I’d suggest the Mayo Clinic as a great place to start:
Chronic stress: Can it cause depression? - MayoClinic.com
There are a ton of links off that page to all kinds of self assessment pages.
I’d also suggest this page, which I found through a search awhile ago:
Do You Love Someone Who Suffers From Depression?
You may not agree with everything that is said, but the part that most resonated with me:
“Sometimes the spouse of a depressed partner becomes depressed as a result of living within a “depressed lifestyle” for too long. Depression is said to be contagious and can become a shroud over the spouse or family. It’s also vital to consider that depression may not only be genetic, but it can also be taught. You heard me right. For instance, our children’s most powerful classroom is the home. Both “Nature and Nurture” contribute to depression.”
The second most common thread seemed to be a kind of “how do you get from stresses of living to depression?”
As I said above, it is in my response to situations. The other thing that I think is going on is that the continued level of stress is high and I’ve been unable to fully relax and destress. There is interesting research around stress and serotonin.
Behavior: The Neurobiology of Depression (Look down the page a bit for the subheading “Stress and Serotonin”.)
Of note:
We are not saying that stress “causes” depression in people. Rather, stress is very likely interacting with an inborn genetic predisposition, such that, in some vulnerable individuals, a stressor can precipitate a mood disorder (i.e., vulnerability + stress = depression).
“This suggests that a chronic or severe stress (e.g., loss of a spouse, serious illness or injury, history of abuse) may cause similar neurochemical changes in vulnerable people, therefore triggering episodes of depression.”
Which leads to my final response around the question that stress is causing a physical manifestation of illness, i.e., “mystery illnesses”. I believe this is the case. I believe that I’ve had this happen in the past, where I’ve been down for more than a few days and it always is due to major stresses and changes in my life. It has gotten much worse as I’ve gotten older and the stakes have gotten higher. I believe that in the summer of 2006, the lawsuit and the cost for us financially caused my two week mystery illness.
I’m doing this to help myself. If this seems maudlin or overwrought, please forgive.
If you have other questions, please feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll probably do posts answering the most common threads. o
Tags: depression, stress
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February 29th, 2008 at 10:54 am
blurb,
you & dooce are amazing people. it takes great strength to keep going with everything that you both have been through over the past few years. it takes even greater strength to recognize AND ask for help when you need it.
it’s important that you both realize (and are told) that you make a great difference in the lives of a lot of people, by writing what you both write. so remember that you resonate at a very deep level with other people - because that helps; it means that there are others who care and are going through the same things (stress-wise) and reading about your abilities and choices to cope with the difficulties of living can make the difference between life or death for other people. i know dooce mentioned that in a previous post and said it blew her mind. you guys make a difference.
that counts for a lot.
sending lots of good vibes, hugs (if you need them) and hope from canada -
sak
February 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Fuck what everybody else thinks, you have to take care of yourself. Big props for going to therapy–I’ve been recently converted. Also, you might already know this, but I thought it was worth mentioning—stress raises your cortisol levels and depresses your immune system. Interesting article from the British Journal of Psychiatry. Cortisol, serotonin and depression: all stressed out?
Good luck.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Bravo to you, Jon, for getting the help you need. And anyone who doesn’t think that stress can cause numerous health issues (depression as well as physical problems) needs to have his/her head examined. Stress can be a killer. Good luck to you on your road to better health.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:12 am
You need to do whatever works for you to help yourself. I would hope that any critics would realize that they don’t have the whole story and that you are the best judge of what you need. But alas, history has shown that many will take the tiny amount of info they have and pass judgment on your actions.
I also believe that stress and unhappiness can make you physically ill. Absolutely and without a doubt.
Good luck & best wishes.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Interesting to read the link regarding depression/stress being taught, and how living with someone that is depressed can cause depression itself.
Since I”ve been on the meds, I’ve lost my creative interests. No music, no art… I’ve wanted to and tried going off the meds because of that, and the fog, but found that OFF meds I’m awake and angry.
I have kids. I went on the meds for them, because of the fear in their faces. They are getting older, but they are not out of the house,yet.
I decided I will stay medicated until they are on their own. They don’t need to learn how to be depressed.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
*applause*
You both handle, and write about, this stuff amazingly as far as I’m concerned. And the presentation from yesterday did make me giggle.
Seriously, though, keep it up. All of it. The meds, the talk therapy, the research, the writing. You’re helping other people as well as yourself.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am
you’ve certainly taken an educated look at this. congrats to you on finding out what you need to do and kudos for doing it with talk therapy. i think drugs are easily obtainable but combining with talk therapy is where you’ll get to the heart of it all. that’s been my experience too.
i really appreciated your blog post about being in a relationship with a depressive. thanks! karla
February 29th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I don’t know whether you’ve considered SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but if you will insist on living somewhere that gets a lot of winter I can certainly recommend light box treatment.
I don’t believe I suffer from clinically-labelled SAD or depression, but do get the winter blues, unlike family members who do get full-blown SAD and post-partum depression.
Even my recent diagnosis of MS hasn’t managed to dull my mood this year since I started using a light-box in the morning every day. I started using one a couple of years ago, when I saw how effective it’s been for aforementioned family member. I can recommend it as a non-pharmaceutical assistance to take the edge of the knackered serotonin levels that short winter days brings, and its use has raised my general mood over the last couple of years to the level where even stressful periods like my diagnosis have a much reduced effect.
Perhaps something to consider?
February 29th, 2008 at 11:28 am
You’re doing a great service by sharing this with all of us readers.
I’ve come to realize that there is no such thing as “normal” and we all have to do what works for us to cope with the life we’re dealt.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I got a kick out of your presentation the other day, and I figured that you and Heather would both enjoy this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo7Sng5Jeb0&NR=1
February 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I can’t thank you and your wife enough for putting this information out there and being a voice for those that suffer from depression. I’ve suffered from depression and mood disorder for a very long time and it’s difficult to explain to people who just don’t get it. It’s also horrible to deal with the stigma associated with it. I’m glad that you are getting the help you need to feel better. I wish you and your family only the best!
February 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Does it help you? do you have side effects? do you regret starting? do you feel ashamed? are you afraid you might need more, a bigger dosis? Are you afraid of the idea you might have to take it al your life? i’ve got so many questions..
x
Anne
February 29th, 2008 at 11:50 am
You are very brave to stand up on the Internet and talk about your struggles with stress and depression. Trust me, anyone who gives you shit for not “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and getting on with life” is having a very unhappy life themselves and want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. Don’t let the bullies get to you. You are the one who has to live your life and you are the one who gets to decide the best way to do it.
Stress can not only bring on disease and depression, it can actually kill you. So dealing with your stress is a life-saving measure. Good for you that you are working to improve your, Leta’s, and Heather’s lives. Live healthy, be happy.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Jon - I’m in total awe of your ability to be honest about this. There’s way too much stigma around mental health issues. Which leads to silly comments along the lines of: try harder, and even people in denial about their current mental health “I’m not depressed” line. Yeh, whatever.
Those very same people would not suggest someone ran around a broken leg, put a bit more effort into running … and it will sort itself out! Respect is given for physical illness, and your mental health is as much as part of your body as the rest of you. There’s a wider society stigma about admitting to it too … e.g. rarely feels they have to come out over [insert physical illness of their choice here].
Yesterday’s post, personally I thought it was fab and totally creative! More please.
And yes, everyone goes through that negotiation of boundaries and what they’ll say in public. However, even what you’ve said online has made me think … burning candle at both ends there, and I don’t even know you.
Anyhow, good luck to you … and please keep writing. It may help, and don’t forget you’ve got a load to give other people … not to mention your own family.
P.S. Coco drains me out, just by reading about her!
February 29th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
It seems perfectly natural to me that you would take a medication to help you when you need it. When I have a headache, I take Excedrin. Oh, heavens! I took a pharmaceutical to help me, even though I could probably predict that the headache would eventually go away on its own: it helped me function better during the headache.
I am not a situational taker of anti-depressants. I will be on them for the rest of my life. Anti-depressants are my insulin. Without them, I am anxious, jittery, scattered, and cannot relax, sit still, or enjoy my life the way I can when I take them. I am not sure why, in 2008, there is still a stigma attached to taking them.
Jon, from what I read yesterday, and also from what I know from being a longterm reader of both your website and Heather’s, I think you hit it right on the head: Your stress levels have been sustained, very high, and have all occurred in a very short span of time (namely, the past four years). You have endured more stressors in that time than most of us encounter in a lifetime. I think there is a vast difference between “Life is hard, so why can’t you deal with it without prozac?” and “There are significant and sustained huge stressors that take their toll, and prozac can help you until some of that passes.”
Even if you can get through “life is hard” without Prozac, why would you, when it’s there to help?
February 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
thanks for those links, i really enjoy reading the real research about psychological phenomenon. i hope you start feeling better very soon, or that the feeling better sticks if you’re already there.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I’m glad you’re getting help. You don’t need anyone to tell you how important that is.
Should we be sad that George is on the stress graph? I’m a crazy Internet person who worries about random people I don’t know. I worry about him. I worry about you, too, of course. Am I taking the George bar too seriously?
February 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Good for you for seeking help. I trust this is what is needed for you and I do hope you continue with the talk therapy.
I just went the other direction, choosing to not take a medication, but meds are there to help when we need them. I am surprised that folks won’t quaf at someone who needs Synthroid for a thyroid problem, but will lambaste (sp) a person who needs prozac to decrease depression levels.
I personally have my own choices about meds. They are mine from my own history, but I would never expect others to make the same choices I would…so I hope you well and a decrease in the stress.
With that said, keep doing talk therapy. I work with very under priviledged folks who will never see the light of talk therapy but will be dosed medication. Meds are only a patch, and without therapy it only comes back. Just the way it goes, moe. Sh!t, if it is a simple as just the meds, I’d have stuck with pot….cheap and you can share.
And that is it…I am done writing the 2 cents.
Take care of yourself.
~GoGo
February 29th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
We LOVE you Blurbomat!!! Do what you need to in order to take care of yourself (and your family). I would say the biggest critics are those that could stand a little (or a lot) of Prozac themselves!!!!! Take care!!!
Vicki
February 29th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Excellent response. Thanks so much for speaking for so many of us.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Jon,
Thank you so much for sharing what you have been through and your decision to seek help. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression two months ago, five months after my daughter was born. I was able to see a psychiatrist that specializes in postpartum depression, and he has found a link between that and bipolar. When he asked how I felt about taking medication, I had mixed feedings. If you would have asked me six months ago, the answer would have been no. After dealing with the severe mood swings, and the fits of crying, I was open to suggestions. Reading what you have been through and the courage you have shown to not only take medication, but to share it with the world, I feel like I too can take that same step. Thank you for allowing me to do what is best for not only me, but my husband and daughter.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Hey, Jon. I suffer from depression and chronic anxiety disorder. My husband is a psychologist, and even he’s having a difficult time dealing with me and it all. Don’t feel the need to explain yourself to your readers. You’re a great husband and father, anyone can see that. We all do what we can to get by.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I also found the Dave Turro-Sheilds article interesting and personally, very true. The arms of depression are long and often sweeps in anyone nearest to it. It is a struggle to continue to see life through your own (hopefully, emotionally healthy) eyes when your partner or loved one’s view of the world is clouded. Taking care of oneself and seeking the support of friends and family is so important…individual therapy has helped me develop better coping mechanisms in my relationship with my husband who suffers from severe depression.
I’ve enjoyed your website and will continue to check-in.
Best wishes,
MTD
February 29th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Jon,
This is the best book ever written on stress and depression and will change you life (in a good way, not in a OMG a giant giant carnivorous rabbit is trying to eat me kinda way).
Undoing Perpetual Stress: The Missing Connection Between Depression, Anxiety and 21st Century Illness
http://www.amazon.com/Undoing-Perpetual-Stress-Connection-Depression/dp/042519826X
February 29th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
If it is any consolation , I did laugh at some parts of the “presentation”.