Stress, Depression & Me
February 29th, 2008Since coming out yesterday as being on Prozac, I thought it might be good to answer a few questions that were in the comments. Before I go there, I’d like to thank you all for your support and encouragement. I’m not sure I’d be doing as well without this site and without amazing readers. Thanks so much, it means the world to me.
Another thing you should know is that I’m seeing a therapist again and it’s going well. Talk therapy is really a good part of getting better.
I’d like to mention that yesterdays post is supposed to be funny. As such, there are a lot of other things going on that I’m not going to write about publicly. It is those non-public things that are larger contributors to my state. And specifically, my response to those non-public things.
Questions:
The first was along the lines of: “So you have stress. Big deal. Everybody has stress. You are saying that stress lead to depression? Give me a break.”
I’ve done a ton of reading over the years about this both for myself and to help me understand the best I can what Heather goes through.
I’d suggest the Mayo Clinic as a great place to start:
Chronic stress: Can it cause depression? - MayoClinic.com
There are a ton of links off that page to all kinds of self assessment pages.
I’d also suggest this page, which I found through a search awhile ago:
Do You Love Someone Who Suffers From Depression?
You may not agree with everything that is said, but the part that most resonated with me:
“Sometimes the spouse of a depressed partner becomes depressed as a result of living within a “depressed lifestyle” for too long. Depression is said to be contagious and can become a shroud over the spouse or family. It’s also vital to consider that depression may not only be genetic, but it can also be taught. You heard me right. For instance, our children’s most powerful classroom is the home. Both “Nature and Nurture” contribute to depression.”
The second most common thread seemed to be a kind of “how do you get from stresses of living to depression?”
As I said above, it is in my response to situations. The other thing that I think is going on is that the continued level of stress is high and I’ve been unable to fully relax and destress. There is interesting research around stress and serotonin.
Behavior: The Neurobiology of Depression (Look down the page a bit for the subheading “Stress and Serotonin”.)
Of note:
We are not saying that stress “causes” depression in people. Rather, stress is very likely interacting with an inborn genetic predisposition, such that, in some vulnerable individuals, a stressor can precipitate a mood disorder (i.e., vulnerability + stress = depression).
“This suggests that a chronic or severe stress (e.g., loss of a spouse, serious illness or injury, history of abuse) may cause similar neurochemical changes in vulnerable people, therefore triggering episodes of depression.”
Which leads to my final response around the question that stress is causing a physical manifestation of illness, i.e., “mystery illnesses”. I believe this is the case. I believe that I’ve had this happen in the past, where I’ve been down for more than a few days and it always is due to major stresses and changes in my life. It has gotten much worse as I’ve gotten older and the stakes have gotten higher. I believe that in the summer of 2006, the lawsuit and the cost for us financially caused my two week mystery illness.
I’m doing this to help myself. If this seems maudlin or overwrought, please forgive.
If you have other questions, please feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll probably do posts answering the most common threads. o
Tags: depression, stress
-
This entry is filed under health, personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You may leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed. Please read the Terms of Service before leaving a response.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:12 am
Thanks for the links, I’m looking forward to reading them.
While your websites generate so much support, it’s such a strange double-edged sword. People voluntarily read your site and then bash you for opening up. I say this adds to your stress just as much as puppies, toddlers and a harsh winter.
I was treated for depression years ago, and though I got through it with the help of medication, I still have symptoms, but now they come in the form of anxiety. I always found it interesting how these two are linked. I started a new medication a few months ago while buying a house, but it didn’t let me sleep, so I’m in flux right now and trying to stay in check on my own. It’s not easy, that’s for sure.
Much luck to you both, I’m a loyal reader and will be for years to come.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:30 am
Jon,
Thank you for being so open with your experience with depression and medication. It took a year of mood swings, everyday crying etc - for me to make the connection and realize I was depressed.
After much thought, I made the decision to ask my physician for help and told them I was open to medication… only to be told that my depression was not due to a chemical imbalance, but rather to “all the stuff thats going wrong with your life right now”. She felt that I was not a candidate for medication, but rather should work on changing what’s making me upset. I was definitely not expecting this (also, I live in LA…)
Thanks again for sharing.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
Good luck on your journey, and thank you for sharing your storey. I’m sure that your storey will help others. When I was suffering post-partum, it was Heather’s posts that led me to ask questions and get help.
In addition to the talking therapy - a thing that helped was learning to change my thinking patterns. Right now I’m reading the book “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, and I think it will help me change how I feel and react to situations. A large part of it is changing how you think. If you haven’t looked at it, it might be worth looking into.
But, keep up the posts. I REALLY enjoy reading them. They make me laugh. Thanks.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
Someone may have asked this, but what is your doctor saying about the duration of medication? I’ve heard different things about how long I should take them (or whether to just stay on them indefinitely), and I’d be very curious to hear what advice you’ve received. Thanks.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:35 am
I too suffer from depression caused by stress. I grew up in an abusive home and almost lost my life due to my first major depression when I was 15. I’ve literally live every day under incredible amounts of stress. Dealing with being a single mother and trying to pay the rent, a daughter who is going deaf and a son who is has been in and out of trouble for two years. We live a seemingly normal life but on the inside I become so overwhelmed with stress that I lay down one day to cover my head and forget that it might be an episode of depression. I’m back on my medication now because I’m under so much stress right now that I live every day with a 12 hour anxiety attack.
Do what you need to do and tell everyone else to go fly a kite.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am
You and Heather live life in the public eye. That’s stress enough. But selfishly, I don’t want you to stop living that way, because your honesty and bravery in talking about your life makes me feel better about mine. : )
Good for you for taking Prozac, and for also getting therapy. Both are enormously helpful, as I know from personal experience.
March 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Good for you, Blurb. Recognizing and doing something about depression takes courage. Discussing it with others takes even more - and blurbing it over the web-waves - even more on top of that. Kudos.
Stress is a weird thing…. I swam in the stress-sea for a couple of decades of work life. It was a fast-paced, highly technical environment with lives and careers on the line all the time sort of situation. I felt relatively untouchable stress-wise. It all bounced off. I coped. During that time I didn’t get it that it was a real thing. Being raised what I call cowboy-stoic, when I saw others ‘depressed’ during that time a part of me would be saying, “Depressed? Get it together man! Walk it off! Get a grip! Stop whining” while my mouth said something supportive.
Lately though personal/family issues have brought me to a point where I had to seek help myself. Now this big tough-guy is taking antidepressants, working at getting better, de-stressing purposefully, and talking about it. My how the world turns, huh?
Hang in there, Blurb.
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Jon - I’ll add my worthless two cents to the pile of comments you’ve gotten…
you’ve been shouldering major stress, i don’t know about this lawsuit you’ve mentioned, but just the history with Heather’s depression, and her uphill battle with meds and getting it to a manageable place, in addition to regular life, a child, dogs, it all starts to add up. And when you are the shoulder, sometimes that shoulder gets really tired…so, good for you and your family for being aware and strong enough to be proactive what you are going through. It doesn’t seem maudlin or overwrought at all. It’s actually a very selfless act.
And i did laugh at your presentation. But it was a bittersweet laugh. Be well.
March 3rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Dude, don’t let anybody give you shit about stress not causing depression, because it totally does. Currently my own personal spouse-type person is under unbelievable stress, and is unbelievably depressed, and is constantly grinding her teeth and is basically unable to eat or sleep. That anybody could even imply that stress doesn’t cause (or exacerbate) depression is ludicrous.
You’re doing the right thing.
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I feel compelled to respond to your latest post, even though you have plenty of comments to read through, and I’ve never felt compelled to comment on any blog before. I’ve loved Heather’s blog for over a year and just a few months ago began checking in on blurbomat. Actually, I look forward to your family’s humanity, artistry and wry take on the world every day. From personal and family experience, I know that depression manifests itself in inexplicable ways, and anyone who hasn’t been in the depths of it cannot quite understand or relate. The articles in which you address depression show such honesty, courage and sensitivity to Heather’s and your own illnesses - it amazes me. (Every spouse dealing with a depressed partner should read them.) Some may not be able to grasp the idea of a person with depression maintaining their sense of humor, but again, I know it is very true and possibly a life-saving grasp on ourselves. Also, we may have a gene that predisposes us to depression, but I don’t think it condemns our children. Instead, we are better able to equip our children with knowledge and tools to recognize it in themselves and handle it. Thanks to you and Heather for sharing your lives and family with the world. All the best in your recovery. (P.S. After surviving puppyhood twice in my adult life, and vowing never, ever, ever to do that again, we rescued our last dog from the humane society. There are still some challenges, but I think we’ve gotten much more sleep than you two. I have to say, though, Coco IS adorable in all the pictures.)
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
This may be already mentioned in the comments, but I’m lazy and don’t plan on reading them. Because of that, I’m thankful that you do.
My husband and I are about to enter the voyage of parenthood. Both he and I (when I’m not knocked up) enjoy better living through chemistry, and, in our own little way, compete to be the craziest person in our household. What do you and Heather do to prevent rubbing depression/stress/anxiety habits onto Leta?
I’d like to have a game plan before our little girl enters the world. (oh, can you sense the obsessive planning that leads to anxiety and then to crazy feels of being out of control?)
Thanks for your openness!
March 4th, 2008 at 6:50 am
I agree about stress triggering both depression & illness. I usually get sick more when I’m stressed. I suffer from chronic depression and was diagnosed as bipolar in 9/2006. It really has rocked my world and made me question my family history etc. with alcoholic dad & grandfather who could have been self medicating. I have to stay away from all things alcohol now as that and meds don’t mix well. I’m on Effexor, Risperdal and Lamictal. You need to do what it takes to take care of yourself… for you, Heather, Leta and the doggies.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Thank you so much. I also have a depressed spouse and have been on Prozac at different times. I appreciate you posting links as support for the spouse of a depressed person is hard to come by. Blessings and peace to you and your struggle.
Kim
March 4th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I feel so blessed to be able to share in your good times through your website and Heather’s. It is a vulnerable place to share with others the truth. I am a new reader, so I am unfamiliar with all the tough times but thought your Power Point Presentation was priceless. We could all fill in the blanks with our own lives and it’s a great way to approach some really difficult situations - with honesty, humor and conciseness!
In my family I have been affected by the disease of addiction and have found great solace in 12 Step Groups. It’s a place where I learn that I did not cause the illness, cannot contol it, and cannot cure it. However, I can learn how to cope and learn that the answer lies in my own expectations and ability to accept life on life’s terms. It sounds like you are on that path, especially with the combination of therapy and a mood altering drug. Therapy rocks! (Well, it actually sucks but helps too).
Ciao and keep on keeping it real!
March 4th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Hey Jon,
You are very brave for “coming out” like this. But I’m not surprised, considering that you already wrote about your earlier diagnosis of dysthymia almost two years ago. Do you think your current depression might have evolved (at least in part) from dysthymia?
I wrote back then to thank you for writing about your dysthymia, and how it prompted me to get diagnosed myself. Since then I’ve found that a weekly afternoon or evening “off”, preferably with some sort of exercise or activity, keeps me on an even keel. Does your own schedule allow something similar?
I still enjoy your writing and Heather’s. And Leta is adorable - and if she’s anything like my own daughter, even on her best behaviour she will still be a challenge
March 6th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I just wanted to send my utter support and LOVE to you, dooce, every member of your amazing little family, dogs and fish included!
You are all amazing people who deserve nothing but the very best life has to offer, but since this is, after all, life we’re talking about, and it doesn’t always work out, GOOD FOR YOU for getting help when you need it!
Don’t listen to the haters. I wish I had more useful things to say, but I at least wanted to let you know that we in this little family on the East Coast think you’re all fucking incredible. *HUGS*
Keep writing, love. We’ll keep reading!
Much love,
Me, the hubby, and the kiddo. The cat and fish too. ^_^
March 7th, 2008 at 11:26 am
You could blame Utah:
http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN0563506920080306?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews
March 10th, 2008 at 8:14 am
sounds to me like you and Heather are right on track. all the best
March 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
hi jon,
thank you for sharing your story!
my husband has recently been battling depression and I am looking for suggestions of any reading material or websites that may help me understand how to deal with it.
any suggestions you may have are appreciated.
thanks,
a
April 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Very nice writing about a difficult subject. Few people want to talk about it (unless you pay them) or acknowledge it as a real medical problem. When I told my wife about my depression and decision to take medication she said, “Snap out of it! Don’t you care what people think?”
Thank you for talking about depression & stress and for sharing your life.