I love how the dog has selective parents. When he does something awesome, Chuck is HER dog. When he gets into the toilet paper or is pacing, Chuck is YOUR dog.

Rest assured, Chuck is alive and well. I don’t think I can say the same for my gonads.

  • donna

    The same will hold true for Leta, too. When she’s wrecked the car, she’s YOUR child. When she cures cancer, she’s HER child.

    Get used to it. :)

  • Gia on Guam

    Awww that’s a cute story…Wait until it’s YOUR naughty daughter.

  • Dragon

    Glad to see that the first born is still alive!

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    Funny, my wife says the same thing about our son. When hee’s covered in peanut butter and sticking his finger in his asshole, he’s MY son. So unfair.

  • Badger

    This is so true. Pretty much everything in our house has selective ownership. Like today, DH was cutting holes in the ceiling of MY garage. Yeah, it’s a long story. But I made sure he cleaned up all HIS shit when he was done.

    Jon, I fear for your gonads. You might want to look into some sort of titanium cup device. Or possibly an alarm system of some sort.

  • Stephanie

    Your poor NADS. My heart was racing while reading Heather’s story about the dog. Holy shit dude..that was close.

    NEVER loose the dog. Never, ever, never!

  • Ali

    We returned a U-Haul after moving and somehow – it’s still disputed to this day, the dog ended up IN the U-Haul and we didn’t find out until 6 or 7 hours later. My family had to go pick up the dog AND clean out the damn truck. Not a fun time. I’m sure my parents felt like the parents from Home Alone, except my mom was screaming ELWOOD instead of KEVIN.

  • robin

    Donna called it. Perfectly.

  • K Dawg

    In these type of situations it is always the mans fault. Even if she had let the dog out the gate and not checked the gates it would have been your fault. They teach us these things when we are small.

    That is just the way it goes.

    On a side note…our dog didn’t get stuck in the truck on moving day…she stuck her little puppy head into one of those plastic tubes that attatches to the rain gutters. So here is the black lab wandering the front yard with 3 feet of black tube on her face. It didn’t actually get funny until our two year old tried to ride the dog while I was attempting to pull the thing off.
    If we had a camcorder I would be on a better computer right now in a nicer home. Yeah boy.

  • Gretchen C.

    Always. “What are you doing to MY dog?” vs. “Look what YOUR dog did on the Flokati rug.”

    I have a daughter from a previous marriage, so when one of our sons acts up, I have ammunition. “MY daughter never did anything like that. This is YOUR fault!”

    The mental image of a child covered in peanut butter with his finger stuck up his ass is very evocative. And, sadly, something which I can very easily picture occurring at my house. This, after all, is a household where my 3-year-old once stuck his naked butt in the air after a bath and shouted “Balloon knot!” I must stop playing Howard Stern in the car.

  • Juli

    I can FedEx you the heavy metal codpiece my ex-husband used to wear at the Renaissance Fair. It was the only thing I asked for in the divorce as I no longer cared about protecting his nads at that point…

  • the mighty jimbo

    there is way too much talk of gonad abuse on these sites. your nuts must always be at defcon four.

    jon, i’m sending you a cup for (belated) christmas.

  • Amanda B.

    Maybe we should form a support group for Jon’s “guys”. They seem to be in much peril as of late.

  • beachgal

    Oh yeah, when the dogs are bad, they HIS dogs, and when they do something cute….oh wait, my dogs don’t do anything cute.

    Same almost applies for our son, but he’s normally MY son, unless he’s screaming his head off.

  • Kathleen

    I posted something very similar on, but I just wanted to say…I love how Chuck is “my dog” not “our dog”. Much the same as Puppylicious is “MY puppy” not “OUR puppy”. Unless he does something bad. Then, he is “THE puppy”.

  • africankelli

    I love how she calls him, “Santa’s Little Helper,” like the dog on The Simpsons.
    Did you ever see the episode where Bart orders a credit card in the dog’s name and it comes to Santos L. Halper?
    Oh, television doesn’t get any better.

  • Dale Cruse

    If Howard Stern is using the term “balloon knot,” that’s just another way he’s ripping off Opie and Anthony.

  • Carol

    Yes!! I was my Daddy’s girl. Until he caught me smoking. then He called my mom with, “Do you know what YOUR daughter was doing today?”

  • Kimberley H.

    I simply adore Chuck.

  • JulieT

    I think you guys should get a fence for the backyard. Or check into the humane-ness of those electric fences. My client had one today and it worked… the dog wouldn’t go near the property line.

    Then, at least you alleviate the pacing.

  • Layla

    You Rock!!! And… look like my husband which makes you even more fabulous! Heather is a goddess and Leta is a combination of the two of you, so you do the math. The threesome is off the charts.