Clog v Flip Flop

It’s important when winning a war to be confident. It’s also important to have presentations.

Here’s mine:

(click image to view QuickTime version of the presentation. Use the left and right arrow keys on your keyboard to navigate, or click your mouse to move forward.)

  • matches

    That’s… questionable. I’m going to stick with the flip-flops (or “double-F’s”) for the economic value and so my SO can continue to ask me whether I think we’re at the beach.

  • jaime

    i’ve been kinda liking the look of crocs lately… making me start to wonder if my roommate’s right and, based soleley on my footwear, i really am a lesbian… but how are they actually not smelly?

  • joh3n

    Careful though. Although I fully support the CLA (Clog Liberation Army) and am wearing clogs *right now*, I did, in fact, witness an instance of recycled flip-flops on HGTV last night. They made them into some sort of mat. Nevertheless, ° VIVIA LA CLOG !

  • Becky

    i think clogs are 110% totally rad and/or awesome. you should rework your numbers and see if you don’t reach the same conclusion.

    solely (hahaha! shoe pun!) based on this slide show, i am going out to purchase my third pair right now. baby blue crocs, mama’s comin’ for ya!

  • Sarah

    Man, I was totally in support of your right to wear clogs. I want to continue to support that right, because even if I don’t want to wear them, you should be allowed.
    You have slandered the flip flop, however, and I’m going to have to reconsider where my allegiences lie. I wear flip flops all summer long, happily!
    Why you gotta be hatin’ on them?

  • MontanaJen

    I just found out that they have Croc flip-flops!

    They don’t do away with the stubbing of the toes, but they do please the aesthete in me. I have to think they’re just as comfy.

    I have no idea if that link will work or not, but if I recall, HTML does not work in these comments.

  • jolie

    oh jon.

    flop slander aside, your preez brought a smile to my face – and that’s quite a feat considering that said face is a soggy, tear stained mess today.

  • Alyce

    I cannot tell you what joy I felt when I saw the movie. And now? Now I feel exhilaration. That presentation rocks!

    I wore my clogs this weekend in solidarity and am wearing flip-flops (or go-aheads) right now.

    Am awaiting marketing tie-ins.

  • Lisa

    Flip flops are also dirt cheap! I have about 30 pair in differnt colors …some plain some with rhinestones, some with flowers….

    And you cant show off your awesome pedicure in those fugly crocs!

  • sweetney

    jon, that made me laugh, made me cry, and touched my very soul.

    [gives The Goat]

  • RzDrms

    ONLY good thing about the presentation: i got to see pac-man!

    clogs are the funk; flip-flops are righteous. that is all.

  • la_florecita

    “Clogs also rule.”

    That was my fave part. Very nice fact-based presentation.

    These last few days at work whenever a guy comes in wearing Crocs or any other kind of clog, I make sure to compliment him. “Way to rock the clogs!” Their girlfriends roll their eyes.


  • Jennifer in Kansas City


    And if you ever need another “con” for flip flops, there’s the irritating toe-thong thang. No irritations with the crocs! Except maybe Heather’s.

  • Torrie

    That presentation was so great that you almost convinced me.

  • keagansmom

    Dude, you’ve got waaaaay too much time on your hands!
    Heather, next time BURN the clogs.

    Luv reading u guys!

  • Rose

    Another haiku
    to celebrate victory
    Crocs will trump flip-flops

    I am wearing Crocs
    Keep the fun in functional
    Flip-flops make me sad

  • madge

    Also on Pros for Clogs:

    Does not contribute to hammer toe.

    Love your methodology.

  • dylan

    Jon! You crack me up!!! I’m not even a fan of clogs, but I’m behind you all the way, both because of the picture of chuck in them, as well as the fact that you make very good points. You have just about convinced me to go buy some, and I think I once swore i would never own any.

  • Dave

    And where’s Heather’s counter presentation?

  • deeryluv

    You forgot to list FREAKING SEXY as a Pro for clogs.

  • Yellowmug

    Very classy presentation!

    As I was standing in line at REI on Sunday buying the 4th pair of Crocs I’ve bought in the last 2 months (I have one pair, the rest were gifts), I saw 2 people in line buying Crocs. I am 100% convinced they are blurb/dooce readers.

  • areyouwishing

    Not that Im trying to lobby or anything, but if you can throw in a built in bottle opener ( im down with the clogs and will switch parties immediately.

    Not to go off topic, but have you seen the “Republicans for Voldemort” bumper sticker around town?

  • wrensuicide

    Well. I’m convinced.

  • Moxie

    Another Pro for Clogs:

    Does not contribute to camel toe.

  • Eight Hour Lunch

    Hell, anything that keeps us from spending another minute debating religion in Utah, *has* to be good. I’m going to go buy a pair to burn incense in. Hail mighty god(ess?) of the clogs.

    Speaking of…I’d think after the whole plumbing nightmare you’d have had enough of anything called clogs.

  • bee

    nerd love is so EFFING AWESOME.

  • Jeni

    While I am still strongly anti-clog, today as I walked through the mall on a mission to by headphones for my work computer on my lunch hour, I passed a Croc kiosk and the rainbow colored display of fugly shoes and Croc t-shirts made me laugh out loud b/c I thought of your liberation video.

    I considered buying Leta a Croc shirt as a joke, but as I stand firmly on Heather’s side, I cannot cross over and support the makers of the world’s ugliest shoes.

    But I do enjoy the ongoing Armstrong Clog Battle stories and videos. You guys are too funny.

  • Annie

    How could you loose this argument? You have a pie chart!

  • Mahlookma

    The Armstrong Clog Battle enticed me to buy my first pair of Crocs today…actually, I tried to pay for them, but a dear friend elbowed me out of the way so that she could purchase them for me as a birthday present.

    I just went up another power of two, and now have my first–but assuredly not last–pair of Crocs.

  • Chloe

    “Heather, next time BURN the clogs.”
    Another pro for clogs: fire resistant.
    I’m 95% certain that if one tried to burn flip flops, they would ignite and release some really toxic black gas, so hey! Yay for clogs.
    I have to say, I’m all for comfort, but I have completely avoided trying on Crocs because they are hideous. I know if I try them on and they are insanely comfortable, I will have to own a pair and thus try and find some way to justify wearing them. And my feet will be embarrassed.
    Still, I absolutely love the presentation. And I like Crocs on other people, they are sort of insanely hilarious… but I just can’t. Not yet.

  • byron

    I just bought my first pair of Crocs today…

    I was, up until trying them on, emphatically anti-clog. They are the most brilliant development in footwear since… well… since the beginning of time.

    What can you do in a pair of pink heels that you can’t do in clogs? Nothing.

    What can you do in clogs that you can’t do in pink heels… a big fat motherload of useful things. I’d like to see Heather supporting her side of the argument by carrying out everyday household tasks while wearing the aforementioned heels. Prove their superiority.

  • Elle

    Love the presentation. Love the colors, love the clickiness, love it all. And it’s all true of course.

    While I’m basking in victory-induced elitism I wonder what fashion statement you’ll champion next. If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion… picture if you will a sunny day, a garden hose, the lovely green lawn, your smackin’ dandy black Clogz, and to top it all off a black leather Gardening Thong. Just the ticket for the great outdoors. Looks fantastic with a pair of Clogz. A bold statement for the man who’s not afraid to follow his gut when it comes to self-expression.

  • Sera

    Awesome presentation. Totally convincing. It makes me want to buy some of those ugly shoes.

  • Andrew W

    @Mahlookma: Same thing nearly happened to me last night at Target. I saw Crocs on sale and pointed to them; my girlfriend shook her head; I said, “But Jon Armstrong said it’s okay!”

  • gordon

    What is this government propoganda???? Citizens we must say NO NO NO! For the sake of our children!!! Clogs represent chaos!!

  • eddeaux

    okay, this was cool, 30 cool points for this presentation.

  • rivetergirl

    Don’t say “clog penetration.”

  • liznboys

    Not only did you dis the flip flop, you’re not realizing the wrath you’re inviting upon yourself…the reality is she LET you have those shoes back, and now you’re going overboard flaunting your “victory”.
    I have a feeling, just like someone else we know, you have prematurely declared “mission accomplished”…good luck to you and your clogs…you’re going to need it, I fear.
    PS cool presentation…overboard, but cool…you’re going to pay (and as my husband says, “don’t I always pay?”)

  • Shalini

    You forgot to say in hte presentation that the clogs cover the whole foot.. so if you have weird looking feet or haven’t had a pedicure in forever that it’s okay…

    Though I am a fan of flip flops sometimes in the summer!

  • wynk

    Personally, I’m a flip flop fan. Miserably hot weather + super sweaty feet = as little coverage as possible.

    However, if MARIO BATALI can go on Emeril Live wearing HOT PINK SOCKS and NEON ORANGE CLOGS…

    you should be allowed to wear yours.

    I rest my case.

  • BigA

    Oh dude – why not take the Crayon victory and leave it at that?

  • Momtowolf

    I like my crocs cause they are not slippery like the old nave flip flops are…..I tend to slip and fall too many times….so crocs keep me steady….I even did the ACS Relay for Life in my crocs this last weekend…..feet felt just fine after walking for 2 hours !!!!

  • Ashley

    This clip includes David Spade and Nick Swardson, which isn’t the interesting part.

    Just pay attention around 3:17. I think you’ll find it amusing.

  • odonata9

    hilarious presentation. there are plenty of gentlemen on your side out here in san diego. i was at the dog park yesterday and saw not 1, but 2 men wearing clogs. one was the croc variety, the other a more traditional leather one. strangely enough, he was also riding a bike.

  • jodieyorg

    Shock and awe. Shock and awe.

  • Freckle Face Girl

    I thought nobody could beat my mom’s obsession with crocs (5 pairs), but you blow her out of the water. & Odonata9 – she lives in San Diego too… hmmmm

  • UpsideUp

    i especially like the pie chart.

  • Me

    Talk about missing the obvious:

    Clogs are the best, they’ve always been the best.

    Flipflops are for wearing in the shower at boot camp, Campfire Girl camp, and prison.

    The main reason clogs rock? I don’t have to look at anybody’s ugly furry, funky-nailed talons. Keep those thick, yella, fungus filled toenails under wraps, for the love of humanity.

    Flipflops are designed for pretty feet only. Under my observation, less than 1% of the population (predominantly teen girls) have attractive feet.

    I don’t want to look at varicose vein feet, hairy feet, weird-toe-length feet, or feet that look like 1 step back in the evolutionary chain.

    Clogs are sexy, stylish, and infinitely more considerate of those of us with weak stomachs.

    Rock on clog-man!

  • Courtney

    See, and I move between clogs and flipflops equally well. I see them as seasonal, as I have this OCD thing where I cannot have my toes confined after, say, May 1. Unless wearing sneakers to the gym.

    But that’s MY neurosis imposing itself onto your marital neurosis. Summer = flip flops, winter, spring, and fall = clogs.

    Nice Keynote, by the way.

  • Workman

    But what of plastic sandals?

  • Varla

    Hilarious. Best part is “Clogs are rad and/or awesome”. It’s the and/or that gets me. Fabulous.

  • moonrattled

    Flip flops are noisy, too flat, and boring. Clogs are complex, more cushiony, and more interesting looking.

  • Cat

    You forgot to mention the annoying noise pollution that emanates from the FF-wearing public. That horrible slap-slap of the rubber hitting the back of the foot as the person walks? Worse than nails on chalkboard.

  • Shalini

    I GOT A PAIR TODAY for my birthday, my feet are blissful!!!

  • disasatergirl

    i think clogs are awful. but i bet they are dishwasher safe.

  • Sera

    Ok, I was just thinking: are Crocs the new jelly shoes? I saw a lady wearing a pair [of jelly shoes] the other day.

  • Michael Cole

    Uh oh – your pie chart is incorrect…

    If you own 75% of the clogs in the house, and Chuck own 25%, and we’ve seen photgraphic proof that Chuck has 4 clogs (2 pair), then you must own 8 PAIRS of them. Which, I think, might be a new record.

  • Michelle~in~Memphis….ugh

    I get sick of seeing various disgusting extremities slothing around in flip flops. In this part of the country they are worn all year round. Hey, we get a little warmer weather in January, ok…. here comes the white, crusty, lint-coated digits. Yuck. I agree Clogs do rule. They keep my eyes happy.

  • tk

    Jon, I have to say that I think the Crocs look better when the heel strap is not engaged. That just makes them look extra geeky. I am not opposed to clogs – in fact, I like both clogs and flip flops (and I really want Heather’s pink shoes) but the less geeky they look, they better.

  • srah

    The worst thing about this argument is that whichever font you use in your comments puts the c and the l in “clog” too close together, so it looks like everyone’s talking about dogs. These comments are very different when you read it as an argument over dogs vs. flip-flops.

    Especially the one about clog penetration. :(

  • ashleigh

    I’ve been a loyal reader of your wife’s blog for about a year now. I occasionally make it over to yours, but for some reason just haven’t been quite as loyal to yours (please don’t hate me). Anyway, I have to side with your wife on the fact that those clogs are just horrible, but your presentation was super “rad,” so you get points from me…even though the presentation didn’t make the clogs any more rad.

  • Katie

    Just wanted to let you know that another victory is at hand. I had been thinking about getting an easy-on type shoe for home because I have to wear shoes at some point all the time because of foot problems. With additional clog exposure gained from your site (and Dooce!), I have decided–No! PROCLAIMED!–that I will get clogs. No really. And I’m going to get a bright, scary color, and no doubt will be eventually lazy and/or comfy enough to wear them in public. Do you get a toaster oven now or something?

  • Jil

    This is my Sophie’s choice!
    We shouldn’t have to make this choice. There are enough days of the week (and events) to wear both.

  • CartwheelsAtMidnight

    Is it ok to swing both ways?

    Or does it make me footwear confused…

  • Designer Ella

    Everybody who needs a less ugly, almost nice looking shoe, but wants the Croc, buy their Flip Flop.

    I believe men should wear flip flops over clogs. Your wife is an understanding angel as far as I’m concerned. 0:-)

    Nice presentation, too. Silly = entertaining. But you’re still wrong. 😛