Dog Diet

Me: “Chuck!”

Chuck: “Sniff sniff sniff I love the outdoors! Hey, something that looks dead and edible, run!”

“Chuck! Come! Leave it!

“chomp chomp chomp [stares in near orgasmic bliss then turns dark) Go care for the other one, the human child. I’m in my element now, fool!”

“What do you have in your mouth? Come! Lemme see… hmmmm dead bird? Mouse? This family does not eat road kill… or, frankly, carrion of any kind that has not been cooked. Get your ass in the house. NOW!”

Scurry scurry scurry (while avoiding eye contact).