In a daring midnight raid that started at 4pm, I successfully liberated my clogs from the clutches of evil. It was a hard fought battle, a battle for freedom and dignity. I had air support and support of other kinds. Thank you all for your support.

Behold the blurbomat Clog Army’s first victory:

  • la_florecita

    Congrats! I always love seeing Good triumphing over Evil. (Not that Dooce is evil but her actions were! Clog stealing! For shame!)

  • dancingnancy

    Sniff….sniff… that…..ketchup I smell?!?! Mmm….ketchup….

  • MontanaJen

    Remember not to lord your victory – wear the clogs in moderation…

    Yeah for Comfy Feet!

  • MontanaJen

    Seriously, though – it does look like you just finished with a bloody battle. What’s that all over your face and shirt, chocolate? Did you squirt her with chocolate syrup until she gave them up?

    Torture is NOT the answer, Blurb!

  • Torrie

    I love how you’re wearing one croc and holding the other!

  • jaime

    jesus. wow. i mean, well done, getting them back?

  • HalfwayCrucified

    No doubt this was a well planned and highly coordinated rescue effort–even the orchestra showed up on time.

    Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

  • Penny Rene

    Congrats! I should remind you that Tim lives in NASHVILLE. Franklin, TN to be exact. This is a place where his clogs are referred to as “Those Pansy-Ass Cloggs”. I’m sure your clogs are much better and worth the fight.

  • Angela

    Hooray! A prouder more victorious day I can not recall.

    Do you have a speech prepared?

  • Jennifer in Kansas City

    Well done, my man. I am going to assume you did not have to use the resources of Halliburton to attain this victory.

    The prog-clog revolution thanks you. You’re like our very own Patrick Henry. Except living. And with internet access.

  • Michelle~in~Memphis….ugh

    Hip-Hip-Hoooray for the Clog Army!!!!! Great job!!! Excellent valor!!!!

    That was a great mini-movie!!! Keep those coming.

  • Kristine

    I had no idea it would be so brutal!

    You look like you’re covered in A1. It was worse than we thought!!

  • rivetergirl

    Victory at any cost!!!


    I’d say we could run in the streets, but that’s the one draw back to clogs, they ain’t too good fer runnin’.

  • Julie

    Dare I say “Mission Accomplished?”

    I like how the Clog Army has its own videographer.

  • Dave

    Woooo! The world is a little safer for clog wearers!

  • napangel

    Excellent! Was a peace treaty signed? Or was this just one battle in what could be a long, drawn-out Clog War?

  • Workman

    I knew this day would come.

    It’s like President Bush tells us: Evil will not prevail. (unless you think President Bush is evil, then it appears it has prevailed, indeed) But anyway, those evil clog takers did not prevail this time.

    I’m going to go shoot a gun in the air right now.

  • Workman

    Sorry about the double post, but I just saw the video on dooce.

    A fine performance, Mr. Armstrong. It conjures images of your turn as a tyrannical roommate on PLA some 13 years ago.


  • brandy


    Except I was confused as Heather sort of implies that her side won and you died on the front lawn(much to the amusement of the neighbours)

    But now that it has been cleared up and I realise our side has come out victorious Im going to go throw some shredded paper out of the office window!


    PS. she still should atleast put them on her feet and discover true comfort.

  • Elle

    06/23/06 is now officially known as V-C Day – A day that will be remembered and celebrated by the proud members of the Clog Army for generations to come!

  • Carolina Blue

    Oh thank God. Now I can stop watching CNN incessantly.

    Died laughing over here in California.

  • Karen Rani

    Oh my word, Jon!
    Did you fish that godforsaken crocK out of this: ?????

    If so, that is not victory my friend, that is only freeing one of two POW’s.

  • Heidi

    You guys are a riot! Are there clog army t-shirts available?

  • EmmeJemme

    HEEHEE…. The only thing that would make that video _MORE_ perfect would be Leta running up to Jon’s “body” screaming “DAAADEEEEEE!!!!!” and throwing herself on his still and lifeless form. LMAO.
    So happy for your victory Jon. VIVA LA CLOG!

  • Z

    Awesome. On so many levels.

  • ryan

    We won!!! Long live the clog!!!

  • Varla

    Dear god, Jon, you look positively half-dead in this video. Excellently done…

  • slickwilliejr

    clog army is victorious!

  • Hope Rutten

    ‘Victory is mine!!!’

  • Maiken

    Viva Blurb!!!

  • jw

    Was it worth it, Blurbdude? Really. Was it worth all that?

    And did you indeed win?

    You may have won the battle, but son, you may well lose the war.

    I shall pray that there is an end to this madness!

  • jon deal

    I especially like the grainy, newsreel quality footage. Obviously that film was shot close to “the front.”

    The first causalty in the Great Clog War of ’06.

    So instead of a Purple Heart, you get a Pink Croc.

    Viva La Rivoluzione!

  • Coelecanth

    Wait a second! Somethings fishy here. Notice how when he falls it’s face first. In a real collapse after a beating like that he’d fall backward. And were’s the second clog! There’s no evidence of a second clog. Clearly there’s a conspiracy at the highest levels to get us into an unwinable fashion war. We are being misled by the BlurboDooce/Industrial Complex for their own nefarious ends. {whispering}…it might even go to the very top, do Blurb and Dooce have the skills, the unrelenting drive to pull this off? could it be that they themselves are puppets of a certain ex-congressman and his tyranical toddler overlord? if the stealth cloggers attack a northern Canadian city that only hockey fans have heard of, you’ll know I’m right…

  • Elle

    YES! I knew it! Congrats dude, you are officially my hero. w00t!!!11

    One small step for man, one giant… crash-landing on your face for clog wearers everywhere!

  • bananie

    *wiping away the tears of relief and sadness*

    oh jon, you’re truly the jesus figure in all of this. i’m so sorry you had to die for that croc to be set free.

    [thought: jesus would have never given himself up to crucifixion had he worn crocs back in the day. such comfort, such squishiness. garden of gathsemane prayer: “die for their sins? OR tramp around nazareth in these puppies? hard call.”]

  • EastGirlWest

    Victory! I am SO pleased you recovered the clogs…but I also believe they should be confined to home/yard use only. Use them wisely and in moderation.

  • Snickrsnack Katie

    I am glad to hear you won, because I was unsure at first. To see you diving headfirst, er, clogfirst, into the dirt, with ketchup – I mean blood – smeared everywhere, I was starting to wonder to what lengths Heather had gone. I am glad to hear that you are alive and well, and that both you and your clogs made it out unscathed.

    Okay, so I am glad that you made it out unscathed. The clogs? They should be burned at the stake. 😉

  • Pioneer Woman

    You need to go get a pair of either Birks, Topsiders, or Timberlands and wear them around with socks for a week or two. Heather will be LICKING your clogs, begging them to come back.

  • Nicole

    You folks sure are bored, aren’t ya? 😉

  • Kim

    Fight for your right to clog. Damn the torpedoes. Mission accomplished?

    I’m waiting for the t-shirt too.

  • doctor tongue

    Viva la clogs!
    Viva la clogs!

  • patchuga

    Yesssss! Victory for all free-footed individuals everywhere!

    I hope you got both clogs, though. I only see one. :)

  • doctor tongue

    Also, there should totally be Clog Army t-shirts (without crooked text), and Heather’s anti-clog version. Your readers could choose sides by buying the appropriate version, thereby further fattening your bank account.

  • riot_siren

    Wow. I hope that someday my boyfriend and I settle our disagreements just like this. What a great way to remind yourself just how awesome your partner is while getting out your frustrations over a situation. You are both turly creative people.

  • Torrie

    Ding, ding, ding!

    *tapping champagne glass with fork*

    Speech! Speech!

  • Darlin’

    hahahhahhahaha great video. love the music. cloggers of the world unite! okay, not the country skirted cloggers that perform at county fairs to twang. clog wearers unite!

  • bananie

    i concur! my check is in the mail!!

  • monkey

    It’s very “The Great Escape”-esque.

  • Tiggerlane

    Coelecanth —

    If you look closely, I do believe you’ll see the second clog is on Jon’s left foot in the beginning frames of the video.

    It is a sad day, if Heather lets him back in the house.

  • M

    I am SOOO relieved!!! (I think my co-workers are too,,,,they are sick of my clog wearing ass –chanting vive le clogs! )

    ***wipes tear of relief and triumphantly moves the strap of her clogs from the heel to over the top…not needing to be ready for battle***

  • hsp

    Get Heather her own pair:


  • Jennifer in Ohio


    Stupid plastic shoes.
    Ok, you have them back. But leave the strappy pink ones alone, and don’t you dare buy any of those ugly crocs for Leta.

  • erat

    Looks like you had to wade through a used diaper or two to get your clogs back.

  • Yellowmug

    I don’t know what’s nerdier, you two making this video, or me rushing hear to find out what happened and–even worse!–commenting on it.

    PS I am wearing my sage green caymans and just ordered a pair of the Athens. DH has a pair of brown ones, but I saw him eyeing the off-road army green and orange ones (that, by the way, match the blurbomat page).

  • dotsara

    Excellent. When can we expect the debriefing?

  • monkeyaker

    Official clothing of the Clog army includes “Croc’s shirts”, which are also made of foam, with holes, to keep our Clog Troops smelling fine. Only $29.95 per shirt (tax, shipping, and rageful beatings not included).

  • Gia on Guam

    Where was Chuck when the ketchup/A1/chocolate bloodshed was happening?

  • Coelecanth

    Tiggerlane: Dude, that wasn’t there on the original footage!!! Looks a little pixelated to me, I think they CGM’d it in. It’s obvious that this conspiracy is well-funded and skilled. Beware!!

  • Meretrice

    Happy Birthday!

    (Uhm, I don’t know why, but my 3 year told me to write that. She is “very proud” of me right now)

    The video was great, and an important historical record, much like the Zepruder film or William Hung’s audition tape. Fight the good fight man… remember, you need to go back and get the other one.


  • Talon

    And Blurb strikes a victory for comfort over fashion!! Clog wearers all over the world rejoice!!


    *snickers at the footage*

  • jon deal

    The real question now is:

    How many “takes” did you have to do in order to get that shot?

    And did you have to rehearse?

  • Nefariousnina

    BLASPHEMY! I curse you to a lifetime of Buster Browns and knee socks! BLLLLAAAAAATTTTTT.

  • UpsideUp

    my favorite part is your Goooooogle ads — they’re ALL for clogs! good thing heather isn’t using Goooooogle ads anymore lest she undermine her own self with an inadvertant sellout.

  • napangel

    “In a daring midnight raid that started at 4pm …” I just caught that. You are way too funny.

  • whinecountry

    you guys might just have a leeeeeetle too much time on your hands.

    however, congrats on the success of your daring rescue.

  • moonrattled

    Love the grainy quality of the footage. Are those chocolate stains on your Tee?

  • Coyote

    Yay-ah! That’s FN awesome. Congratulations!
    You look like death warmed over in the flick.

  • margalit

    dude, I’m so happy for you. That beyotch better not try and steal those clogs again. You make sure she knows we’re all representing the crocs.

  • Lil Duck Duck

    Ha ha ha, that is just the best photo ever!

  • Shalini

    YEAH HURRAH!!! we are so excited for the clog victory!

  • catherine d.

    this isn’t directly related to the struggle that clogs face in your home but did you know there was a band named clogs?

  • honey bunny

    that’s some silly stuff right there, john! very funny :)

  • hibiscusfire

    You too have waaaaaay too much time on your hands…or maybe you just know how to use your free time well………either way, I’m so jealous.

    Thanks for the entertainment 😉

  • Shana Banana

    hahaha if you guys, well Heather still lived in Los Angeles… Im telling you.. we would be connected at the brain! Thanks for a laugh that woke up the kids! LOL

  • Sunni

    You two crack me up. I agree with the poster who asked for Clog Army tshirts. You could make a mint…especially if Crocs finds out about it…lol. I smell college tuition in Leta’s future!