Office Attire

For the first time in at least a decade, the Blurbomat editorial staff has to work at a full-time job that has a dress code. A Dress Code. The karmic damage to corporate America from the loosening of dress codes to the now ubiquitous Office Casual can be seen in the current economic situation of near recession. It’s fairly straightforward economic theory:

Tie = Profits.
Pantyhose = Profits.

Yes, the women are required to wear pantyhose! Blurbomat wishes it was kidding on this one.

Resultant list of dress code numbers and effect on productivity:

Percentage one looks like ex-boss
Tim on new business pitch day:

Time spent on coordinating outfits for each day:
45 seconds
(thank God for Garanimals for Grownups: Banana Republic)

Time spent pondering tie/phallus theory:
5 minutes weekly

Effect of tie on roommate:
None of your damn business

Time spent in flashbacks of father in tie:
2 hours weekly

Time spent in Mormon-related flashbacks:
12 hours weekly

Time spent repressing business development tendencies:
1 hour daily

Time spent singing Sea of Jones’ Trespassing:
1 hour daily

Time spent perusing new jobs listings: 4 hours daily