Me: Chuck! [alarmed. Chuck is eating a possibly rabid, possibly avian-flu carrying and decaying dead bird] Our insurance won’t cover avian flu for a dog. Drop it. DROP IT NOW.
Chuck: chomp, chomp, chomp, wha…??
Chuck: [swallows] Runs off to pee. On the corner of the cabin.
Me: CHUCK! We do not pee on the house. Come to me now.
Chuck: [takes the widest possible arc away from me and runs to the porch of the cabin, wags tail hopefully] Can we go in to the warm cabin now?