This one is for the boys. Although, I've known women who need this from time to time. Back in the bubble days, I had a sweet PDA hook-up via AvantGo. I'd do a sync, get all my news sources and sites loaded up and then head to the crapper to unload and read. Then along...

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First: Still sick. Second: I'm officially a Mac Slave again. After working for over a year on a Windows 2000 Pro PC, I tasted, albeit briefly, the aesthetic and speed pain of working in the majority. Large file handling was slow, but simple tasks were brutally fast....

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Altitude and Other

The Blurbomat medical team has stepped up it's War on Sickness. Elevated the Sickness Level to Allegra-D status with the only side effect seeming to be aimless web roaming. Can a hangover last 5 days?

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Happy New Everything

Despite the high eye booger count and the shakes from no sleep and far too much alcohol and finally, the tightening throat muscles that cause ritualistic throat clearing every 30 seconds, the little coding freaks here at our shiny, multi-story business parky HQ have...

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Recipe : Manhattan (dry)

3 parts Canadian Whiskey 2 parts Vermouth 3 dashes bitters (found at Albertson's!!) Mix over ice. Shake. Pour into two glasses, preferably not styrofoam or plastic cups (which you are using because your martini glasses are buried in a sea of cardboard and dissent).

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Reasons to like Utah II

While at the liquor store: me (to the guy stocking the see-through shelves): Do you have any bitters? guy: Let me check. 24 seconds later... guy: This is all I have (holds bottle of Campari). me: hmmmm. guy (sensing that this is not bitters): I'm not a bitters expert....

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The 9,000 Pound Something

My favorite thing about living in Utah from a sociological perspective is how much power the Mormon Church has and how many members try to simultaneously downplay this power as well as use it when it suits their needs. Before I'm accused of being a bitter...

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Unholy Night

More when I've recovered from frostbite and dementia brought upon by helping the lone driver unload our 7,300 lbs of crap... at least I have my computer back. Where's the gin?

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Highlight Reel

After many crazy days on the road and having fenced backyards and free food and cocktails galore and 2,500 miles on the truck and having slept for three days, we are here. Sorry for the lax publishing. The seven regulars will receive something nice for the holidays...

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Northwest Stats

Coffee (per day): 4 Traffic: n/a Speed Limit (average): 20 mph under where it needs to be Booze: Balanced precariously between not enough and too much Sun: Staggeringly present Frost: Every morning Nasty Ice Scraping (daily): 20 minutes Sleep (daily): 12 hours...

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Instead of Working

I'm supposed to be packing. However, I can't stop thinking about Utah and booze. In California, the single best thing is being able to buy liquor at the supermarket. Being able to comparison shop between Ralph's, Von's, Costco and Trader Joes forces the entire...

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Dog Day Morning

7:00 am -- Awake. Chuck has weird pimply thing on face. Not sure if it is:ZitInjury from playing hard with neighborhood dogsRare insect bite 8:37 am -- Verdict: Let's watch it closely. 10:48 am -- Utter terror. Blood! Running down his face! The digital camera is in...

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The MovaTron 4000™

I have another in a series of brilliant ideas, disseminated here poorly. In three days, I'll have a better, funnier way of telling it and I'll have severe George Lucas urges to start modifying the post. But I won't modify the post. Instead, I'll let it become the...

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New Product: Tater Bombz

As part of the Blurbomat annual Autumn Regression (wherein editorial staff channels their inner twelve year-old boy), we've done some things we're not so proud of. For example, seeing the film Jackass. To redeem ourselves somewhat, we've come up with a new product...

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When your dog looks at you, as a man, and says with his look, "dude, can you do something about this?" it is important to give the dog a firm, but loving acknowledgement in the affirmative. The result in this case is a set of images in the following sizes for your...

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Some Numbers

Number of times I've sworn at the NY Times Headlines writers today

Conflicts of Interest for Donald Trump Every Day

  • Sleep
  • Food
  • Mental Acuity
  • Kicking Ass

Personal Data