Latest

That Car Bitch

When someone strikes your car, and your car is parked, it is their fault. Always. Even if you parked illegally. This Blurbomat knows due to a certain incident involving a 14' moving van and a 2001 Mercedes E 430 on Stanyan & 17th in late-September, 2001. Blurbomat is...

read more

The kindness of strangers

This is blowing me away. I'm trying to be aloof and cool and post-modern and just let it slide, but I can't. You people are amazing. All of you. I've never heard from so many people in my life. I've never experienced anything remotely approaching the outpouring here....

read more

Really Really Real Reality

This is not a lie. About all I can write today:Alerted family members. We're former Mormons so that means a lot of phone calls to the really large families. This is what levitation feels like. Thanks everybody for the kind words. We're blown away. I'm already buried...

read more

Hubristicalifragile

The final post office visit. The final signatures. The final kind words. The final day. The final wait.

read more

Techgasm

For the past few years during the second week of January, I made the 4 block walk down 4th Street in San Francisco to wander through Macworld. Every year I was filled with tech lust for the pornographic technology shown by Apple. The vaginal iSub with those phallic...

read more

A day.

My life, so-called and possibly cancelled, told via pictures. It's a 440k download

read more

Happy New Something

Right. Back from the holiday familial timeshare. Ready to take on the world. Ready to take 700 Sudafed tablets every four to six hours. Ready to sleep for 47 hours. Ready to sign the papers. Ready to really commit. Ready to give. Ready to live. Ready to make more...

read more

Nervous Talking Thing

Yesterday's blurb dealt with Vanilla Sky, a movie directed by Cameron Crowe. Today, as I'm getting ready to take The Roommate home for the holidays (technically, I suppose we're taking each other home) I'm thrown back many years. I'm out of practice introducing...

read more

Badvertising – Nice Rack

Recent travel dictated that I purchase a PC rag to read while waiting through endless security checks. Normally, Blurbomat would not include in it's gallery of bad ads those in the rear of a technology based magazine. However, this one crossed the line. Far be it from...

read more

Office Space

Recessional times demand a certain action. Like most of my ilk, I'm shoring up on the client-side of things, hiding out and holding out. This means taking a job at a company who actually needs what I do. It also means that I'm no longer older than the CEO. It means...

read more

Office Attire

For the first time in at least a decade, the Blurbomat editorial staff has to work at a full-time job that has a dress code. A Dress Code. The karmic damage to corporate America from the loosening of dress codes to the now ubiquitous Office Casual can be seen in the...

read more

L.A. People Can’t Drive

What is it with these people in this, the car capital of the world? It's dark during evening rush hour now. Everybody is going 1.4 miles per hour. My commute last night should have taken 25 minutes, tops. 55 minutes. Why? And why everybody? Los Angeles is supposed to...

read more

Caravan

What is the compulsion for Americans to move move move Modern Bedouin style in giant yellow trucks? To further opportunity and experience alone? Such questions are beyond the scope of the not-so-daily blurb. Regardless, Blurbomat has fully relocated to Los Angeles....

read more

Interstate Lifestyle

Just like John Goodman's character Gail in Raising Arizona, I LOVE to drive. And nothing is better than opening it up on an interstate. Working through traffic, music cranked and the air conditioner blasting. This urge is either a deathwish or a need, as they say, for...

read more

Los Angeles

Super. For the record, and it is a big record, Blurbomat.com has relocated to sunny, fantastic, impossibly huge and siliconed Los Angeles. Where the beautiful people live. Where everybody is famous or at least looks famous. Everybody. And you see people who do normal...

read more

Badvertising I

Our first example is the Diet Coke "Panty Fetish" ad. It features a guy (Ben Affleck!!!) talking about how it's ok that she has white panties with yellow flowers on them, because it was the kind of underwear he saw as a kid. The final line is "There's something oddly...

read more
Page 170 of 171« First167168169170171

Some Numbers

Number of times I've sworn at the NY Times Headlines writers today

Conflicts of Interest for Donald Trump Every Day

  • Sleep
  • Food
  • Mental Acuity
  • Kicking Ass

Personal Data