While at the liquor store:
me (to the guy stocking the see-through shelves): Do you have any bitters?
guy: Let me check.
24 seconds later…
guy: This is all I have (holds bottle of Campari).
guy (sensing that this is not bitters): I’m not a bitters expert. I’m a Jack Daniels expert.
Did I mention it’s easier (and cheaper) to buy Maker’s Mark here than at Ralph’s on 3rd and La Brea? Our Ralph’s had it locked up and you had to get a manager to unlock the cabinet.