The Deepest

The Deepest

I’ve been to Austin, I’ve been to Memphis, I’ve been to Talahassee, I’ve been to Apalachicola and I’ve even been to Charleston. However, I’d have to say that our recent trip to Beaufort, South Carolina was the south I’d always heard about. It is the most southern city I’ve ever visited.

Wedding protocol isn’t difficult, but there are added layers if religion is involved. And if the south is involved. We attended some amazing activities and were privy to being entertained in some of the finest architecture in Beaufort. Quite an honor, and something that I’ll never forget. We were hosted by a lovely couple who leaned slightly left as well as enjoyed the TV show, Arrested Development. If one can travel across the country and talk about the finer points of Buster and Gob, one is indeed lucky.

The morning after we arrived, I left Heather to sleep in and joined the groomsmen for a Morning After fishing trip. I was invited to the bachelor party, but declined due to fatigue. While I wanted to party, I didn’t want to start the trip recovering from a Denver level hangover that lasted until 9 pm the next day. Fishing trip it was to be.

We boarded at Port Royal and were captained by a Ray Liotta/Albert Finney stunt double who went by “Cap’n Gumbo”. Gumbo was able and quick; he showed us his bait catching technique and within 15 seconds had a couple of bait fish hooked. When a massive storm loomed, Gumbo got us the hell out, pulling anchor and escaping, water coming over the bow repeatedly, fueling visions of my skeletal remains washing ashore three months later, Heather, in remorse, wearing black and Leta growing up fatherless.

The groom pulled in an 18-inch wide by four foot long stingray although we were fishing for Cobia. We caught a ton of herring as bait fish, but the only big one was the stingray. It was awesome to see and the struggle lasted a good while, involving Gumbo telling one of the groomsmen to “get the fighting belt”. The stingray was released and we made it to shore without incident. Which is a lie, but what happens on the boat, stays on the boat, y’all.

Which bring us nicely to southern manners. One of the nicer things that southerners do is teach their children to say to adults, “no ma’am” and “no sir” and “yes ma’am” and “yes sir”. At least the southerners I know. Heather has shared stories of her failure to do so when she was younger and the dire consequences that followed. We’d like to raise Leta with the same manners, but Utah, despite the fundamentalism, is not the south. I attended the wedding rehearsal, as Heather was doing a reading (and a fine job she did). I wanted to wait outside, but Heather insisted that I hang with her. I’m so glad she did. I’ve never seen a more tightly run, hardcore wedding rehearsal. Even the Utah contingency were saying “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”.

We had a great time at the rehearsal dinner and wedding (Heather and I dancing [and sweating] the Maker’s Mark right out of our hair), finishing our trip by getting very sunburned and buzzed, enjoying some wonderful food at fancy schmancy place in downtown Beaufort.

I’ll be posting photos for the next little while, after I mow my lawn and recover from the 3hive recovery.