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“It’s probably going to get worse before it gets better.”


I’ve heard a form of this from just about every person I’ve spoken to about the direction my life is taking. I keep thinking that maybe today will be the day where I can actually look up and taste something other than awful.

Some days are better than others. Lest you think I’m in a morose funk 24/7, that is not the case. I’m just being honest about my grief. It hurts; somedays worse than others.

In other news? Marlo is at the stage where she says or does something adorable every day. When Leta was the same age, I felt the same thing. And just as with Leta, the timeouts are multiplying. As is the dramatic falls to the floor.

Is there an evolutionary reason for toddler drama? Perhaps a message to parents that it’s time for their toddler to move out of the cave and into their own place?

Daily affirmation: Pull.

  • chernevik

    Meh, as they grow they get more creative, and it goes for both the good and the bad.  They’re also more aware, seeing possibilities they hadn’t before, and feel the need to explore parental authority within the new territory.

  • Polly Cole

    I just finished reading a book by Dr. Harvey Karp called The Happiest Toddler on the Block and he compares different stages of toddler development with stages of human development – caveman, neanderthal, etc. If I remember correctly, it has to do with stages of brain development. Yes, I just finished reading it, but my retention is nil. I blame it on the toddler. 

  • Susan

    I don’t necessarily buy that it’s going to get worse before it gets better. It does suck and all, but you might already be at your nadir. Which is not to make light of your grief, you understand, just to say that you never know when you’re going to start heading up again.

    Good luck, man.

    • blurb

      You are correct.

      • TheAndreaK

        Also, the getting better comes in waves. There are steps backwards. And there is no time table. We all grieve and get “better” on our own terms in our own way. Be patient with yourself.

  • americanrecluse

    “Worse before it gets better” would apply perfectly to my moving and unpacking process.

    I’m going to try dramatically falling to the floor and see what it nets me. Wish me luck!

    In one of my favorite books a character concludes that at this particular time in her life, grieving is like her job. It’s what you have to do. Go in, grieve, find your way out.


  • Keltie Borden

    My kid is Marlo’s age and oh the drama every day.  MY KITTY!  MY JUICE!  I DON’T WANT TO GO IN THE CAR!  I DON’T WANT TO STAY HOME!  I DON’T KNOW WHAT CONSISTENCY MEANS!  It makes me so tired!  But she is also hilarious so you are right.  It balances out.

  • alaskarunner

    I think our progress through grief is circular as opposed to linear… in that we circle back many times, only each time moving a bit further from the epicenter.

  • michelle kristine

    It could always be better AND it could always be worse – today is just that, today. Your strength as a person, and your patience as a Dad to toddlers will get you through the less than spectacular days. I am really enjoying your blog. It uses few words, but has a depth to it that I really enjoy.

  • Not_a_Criminal

    Thank you for the update about how YOU are doing and your honesty about how some days are better than others.  

    In other news, I continue to show up regularly for the photos, affirmations and commentary.  I sincerely enjoy the content posted.

  • Sarah R. Bloom

    I’d put money down that you’re doing better than you think.
    There *is* a grieving and I’m glad you called it “grief.”  It’s a process, remember? Ride those waves.

    I think perhaps the evolutionary reason for toddler behavior is to toughen up the parents for later. I say that as a parent of a 16 year old girl.

    • blurb

      You are likely correct. I’m just having bumpy days lately. And about teenage daughters? I’m in a lot of denial. I do see martial arts study in my future as well as the girls’ future.

  • Beth Rich George

    My favorite phrase for a 3-year-old, taught to me by my son’s godparents: 

    “My what an excellent job you’re doing, kicking that floor!  Way to try your best!”

    Alternated with:

    “Gonna have to try harder to get my attention, child.”