Say you happen to own an iMac. Say it’s one of the lamp-inspired ones. Say you need to have some bottom-system shaking frequencies. Say you whine about this. Say your wife sees that the cost to improve the low-end will be relatively minimal ($59 US) and consents to the device purchase. Say that it arrives this morning. Say that you are rocking like Dokken.
That being said, unpacking the thing was like an alien birth, complete with Bulgarian women singing all dissonant and otherworldly.
For the audiophile snob: shut your flaming cakehole.
For those who wonder about the Apple “Pro” speakers included with the iMac: since the low frequencies get routed to the iSub, the small speakers sound perfect and look nice, too. I’m playing only songs with big bottom and the cute speakers aren’t flinching.
[cue announcer dripping with ennui and indie sneer] “Blurbomat: all low-end. All day. All night.”